O'Way hurtling through shallow space
Dirigible Warrigal by Mischief
So, we have been in space for weeks now. The ship can’t go very fast when it’s inside a solar system and Henry has to work hard avoiding things. There’s a tollway just the other side of Pluto and that’s where we’re heading.
Life in the village is idyllic. The crew, well the droids but we refer to them as crew now as they are so human and friendly, create a great ambience of English rural life. Mornings are taken up with breakfast in the court yard. I usually read the paper, The Intergalactic Times, which is beamed to the ships computer everyday. I don’t understand much of it but I’m learning. Belinda chats away about her plans and then her and George set off to the shops to pick up the daily groceries.
This gives me time to reflect. I was born at the Matworth Base Hospital right on change of shift which immediately put me of side with the staff. I was Chinese and my parents called me Nick, Nicolas Xavier Wong. My dad, Walter, a very wealthy man, was a watch maker and he was proud of his shop “Walter Wong’s Watches” being displayed across the front in large letters. “One day all this will be yours Nick X” he would say. My elder sister was Penny, Penny Wong. We would play for hours every day in a creek that ran past the back yard. Penny used to love to tell me “One day me and you are going to control all of this water Nick X”. My family always called me Nick X. I think it was because I didn’t look like them and couldn’t master chop sticks very well.
My dad was always looking to get richer. He used to tinker with computers and one day at a large family gathering my Dad said “You know, one day computers will communicate with each other via the phone line, the information will be broken up into packets and reassembled at the other end”. “Preposterous” came the cries and the next day men in white coats came and took my dad away. Not long after that the police arrived. My mum was feeling bad because she missed dad and the policeman said “Mavis” that’s my mum’s name “Mavis you’ve brought home the wrong child from the hospital” “Yes, that’s right the Wong child” replied mum in her broken English. “No the wrong, wrong child” emphasised the policeman “He’s a Wong” said mum “No wrong, w.r.o.n.g. child meaning Nick isn’t yours” and so I was taken away to my new family, John and Olive O’Way.
My new parents called me Alexander Leonard Lyndhurst O’Way, yes an acronym, that’s why I hate them, and as you know, everyone calls me Sandy. My new family were poor. They didn’t eat fish and rice like the Wongs but lamb and potatoes instead. My dad was a university professor and my mum was a farmer’s daughter. This was all very different and it took me a long time to adjust.
Then I met Trevor. Trevor lived next door and loved cricket. We played cricket all day and into the night until our mum’s would come and get us. In the park on weekends the Test match was on. Me and Trev would always play on the same team, usually with Jules and MJ. On the other team were always Glenda and some of her sisters. Glenda had eight sisters Juanita, Jacinta, Melinda, Rosita, Edwina, Sophia, Cassandra and Belinda but man Glenda was awesome. She would tonk you all over the park and was a good bowler as well.
Then things changed. Trevor had to move away as his dad got a job in the mines. All the gang would come over to my house “C’mon Sandy, you’re the only one that can get Glenda out” they’d cry but to no avail. I lost my interest in cricket from that day forward.
Many years later I attended the Sow End High School for Boys with Criminal Records where I met the Bish. Billy Bishop. Billy told me a story one day about wanting to become a priest. Billy said they feed you, provide you a house and all you have to do is wear a funny gown and listen to people’s problems. So Billy and I joined up. Billy wanted to get up the ladder and moved on but running a parish was good enough for me. So that’s how I ended up at the parish of St Generic, St Generic Brand, in the good old inner west of Cyberia, pub regular at the Pigs Arms and now on a spaceship headed for the planet Joon to report on a cricket game. Work that one out.
October 25, 2009 at 9:14 pm |
I am out for a duck. It has been sitting on top of an Ultimo rooftop and most fat has now been leached out. It just takes another couple of weeks to sit upon and flatten, after which Trevor and some chosen ones will partake of a dish called f#ck a duck with flied lice.
October 25, 2009 at 9:15 pm |
Gerard, don’t worry my friend you are welcome where ever
October 25, 2009 at 9:28 pm |
Doesn’t come with a side dish of maggots does it gerard.
October 25, 2009 at 5:48 pm |
So the Mum’s name was Mavis, eh? Not so popular these days of course…..
Mmmmmmm………..
October 25, 2009 at 5:54 pm |
I believe her middle name was Bramston
October 25, 2009 at 6:31 pm |
So the full name was Mavis Bramston Show? That’s a rather showy surname, Hung one On.
October 25, 2009 at 6:51 pm |
Bramston is a strange name for the Chinese. Sounds more like a pickled onion.
October 25, 2009 at 7:51 pm
I remember a chutney by the name of ‘Branston Pickle’… lovely stuff; the perfect accompaniment to a a cheese sanger… By Crosse & Blackwell if my memory serves me well.
October 27, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Bramston, Branston. What’s in a letter.
October 25, 2009 at 8:32 pm |
I think her maiden name was Mavis Bramton Pickle, but I was very young
October 27, 2009 at 7:05 pm
You crack me up Hung!
October 25, 2009 at 4:03 pm |
Did Glenda have any cousins call Darline, Dorine, Charline, Pauline, Railine, Cecily, Gertrude and Betsy and who were also related to the Palmers per chance?
October 25, 2009 at 4:10 pm |
Certainly
October 25, 2009 at 9:02 pm |
There’s a rumour about Terilene, Rayon and Kevlar, but I pretty sure they weren’t authentic. Somebody made them up.
October 25, 2009 at 9:24 pm
I think there might a been a Tontine as well but maybe I’m getting her confused with a pillow.
October 25, 2009 at 3:29 pm |
Aha! Just what I’ve been waiting for; the back-story of Sandy and the Bish… but, what? No clandestine meetings in the seminary after vespers?
October 25, 2009 at 3:33 pm |
Actually Asty it was your suggestion to give a bit of the background, so thank you, I laughed my self stupid writing this piece.
October 25, 2009 at 3:05 pm |
So Father enjoys the limited overs game. How is he with the 20-20 version?
October 25, 2009 at 3:14 pm |
The only real cricket are Tests. Only ever watched 1 2020 match. Not that keen. See the Blues did well.
October 25, 2009 at 3:30 pm
20/20 has its place. Can’t watch game after game of it though, I have no interest in the Indian Premier League. Limited overs have become predictable. I see the poms will mo longer be playing the game domestically.
October 25, 2009 at 3:34 pm
How are we going to go in India?
October 25, 2009 at 3:37 pm
It depends if they doctor the pitch or if Harbi goes around calling people monkeys. 4-3 but I don’t know which way.
October 25, 2009 at 3:43 pm
They are about 90 off 16, looks good for batters
October 25, 2009 at 3:57 pm
How many outh though.
October 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm
2/104 off 20
October 25, 2009 at 4:05 pm
The name of the stadium is a worry for starters.
October 25, 2009 at 4:07 pm
nice to see Harbi being belted.
October 25, 2009 at 4:10 pm
20 off 3
October 25, 2009 at 4:41 pm
41 of 7 now
October 25, 2009 at 8:25 pm
At one stage there India was 2009/10.
October 25, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Yes Australia was at one stage none for none
October 25, 2009 at 9:33 pm
5/183 with 13.5 overs to play.
October 26, 2009 at 5:59 am
Oh good one Catherine. I noticed even if nobody else did.
October 25, 2009 at 2:39 pm |
Incorrigible widgets by grapharrigal, or graffitagal.
Yes I noticed.
October 25, 2009 at 9:18 pm |
Gee Jules have the incontinence pads worn out?
October 25, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Up to 30 maybe another half century