The early stage of an osso bucco improv.
I also know that the worst meat on the carcass of any legged animal (to cook and to present) is the shin, the osso bucco, the shank and such like. Lovely flavour because it is close to the bone but full of tendons a veins and other chewy things. Damn and bugger, I was surfing channels when I come across her doing a stew-cum-oven number of this meat. I wondered what she could possibly do with it and what it could possibly taste like. Both, as it turned out, were crap. I should have learnt from that but my… what? adversarial? contrarian? Competitive? instinct took over and I thought I’d do it. Mine would succeed and would taste and look fantabulous -as per usual like! So I did what should have been done by a cook with some culinary instincts.
Now I have before me a platter of meat, delicious, yeah but full of chewy tendons and veins. (I have held back on the cinnamon)
What next?
The porn star of the kitchen did something only kitchen porn stars would do: she sliced up some carrots and green capsicums and tossed it over the platter. A “salad” she called it. Just tossed it over the hot meat! Big deal –in idea and taste!
Then she did the usual type of risotto into which she added some black vegetable dye.
She also cooked a couple of “compact nests” as she called them of noodles and served them separately for the guests to use as “base”.
The whole thing looked pretty much how I remembered all of her cooking, ie if you could call making sexually suggestive body movements around kitchen utensils, cooking, looked. Crap.
So does my platter.
So, yeah, what do I do now?
I could do the old, safe thing of adding the usual vegies, capsicums, spuds, beans, egg plants, tomatoes, all from the garden but alas, that’s the meal I spread for them last Sundee, with, beautiful (and Bloody expensive) loin chops. They licked their fingers after that. “You always manage to excel yourself dad!” the squirt, and her girl friends said and Mrs Ato smiled in agreement.
But now? What do I do now?
The thoughts that my palette is dropping in my head are: Chop the meat into tiny, mince-like pieces (with the blender) and turning it into a bolognese sauce –with the usual suspects of herbs and spices, of course, or, after doing the mincing, add some pork mince that I have in the freezer and then make the bolo sauce.
Don’t quite know yet but I have plenty of time. Nobody usually turns up before 3pm and it’s only just after nine…
I’m heading that way…
I’ll let those of you who are interested, know what I’ve done and how, once I’ve done it and they ate it!
If it’s a failure, you’ll see another recipe altogether…
I shall also cut some zucchini and egg plants and chopped them into tiny pieces (1cent cube) and toss them with the pasta just before I toss in the bolo.
Ah, the kitchen! The very symbol of, the very elemental part of our existence. We are the product of Nature’s culinary adventures, and that spirit of adventure lives on, ineradicably!
By the way, her show is still on iView if anyone would like to check it out. I suggest the lad stays away because he’ll get far too hormonal –and for a cook, hormoneliness is a no, no!
Just saw the last bits of Anabell Lanbein’s cooking show. A kiwi lady. I’ve seen her once or twice before. Gorgeous. Unassuming, unscripted, gracious, educational, inspirational, enlightening. Lovely stuff. The camera is on the food, and shows how she’s handling it, what she’s doing to it and what happens to it. Another universe altogether from that of that Lawson woman.
And then, I think there’s also another kiwi lady doing some cooking stuff as well. That one is also pretty good but she loves her French lingo so much, half her words are fawningly french. Still better than Lawson by a mile, though.
Watched both shows already. Both excellent. Lanbein is good at giving out some special hints. Don’t miss any – you will not regret making the effort.
Yes, I love her sensible hints. Very valuable stuff. Loved the pork today.
I’ve never ever tried palenta. Never seemed to appeal to me but the way Anabell served it, I’ll have to give it some serious thought now.
Can’t eat pork ato, against my religion. The only problem is I can’t figure out what religion I am
Not fussed with polenta or cous cous either. Lovely view from her verandah.
Viv, I have found some corn couscous which is quick and easy. Also I can get a slab of polenta ready to go, fry it up and serve with a pasta sauce is not bad especially for us lazy gluten frees.
The Porkless Religion Hungsie.
Their god is Mighty Bous (the Bull).
May the Pork be with you ato,
Go the spit roast has ended
Praise be to Gordon, oink, oink
Good for you Hung. I certainly know people who love the stuff. To me it is a bit like choko – needs a lot of tlc to taste okay. Or even cornflakes – okay with plenty of milk and honey.
I hadn’t thought of cous-cous for a gluten free diet, Hung. Thank you for the tip and some new ideas forming. I like to cook for people making a smorgasboard to get some idea of what they will like … and especially when they have to avoid pitfalls like gluten. I’ll give it a go.
I get it from Coles. You add one cup of boiling water to one cup of couscous a pinch of salt and a dash of oil. Stand with the lid on for 10 minutes. How easy is that.
I don’t get the reference to Julian, Hung. It’ feels grim that you attached a smile to the comment.
It was a joke shoe. I like Julian and have a lot of time for him. I don’t agree with everything he says but that’s the same for most. He proves a good balance here at The Arms just as your good self does.
In the meantime, the reference you made has been replaced with this different comment about getting it from Coles. Scheesch. The comment it is in place of was cruelly distressing.
I shop on my way home from work shoe at about 7.30 in the morning. Coles has a great range of gluten free and lactose free products which is essential for me. They are expensive and when I can I go to the Central Market. I don’t buy anything fresh in bulk any more as I don’t usually get through it, that’s why I have started to eat coleslaw for the first time in my life. I also have to get salads in a bag as it is the most efficient way I can get fresh food. Awful I know but as I am by myself it is really the only way I can do it.
Nigella Lawson as a cook? Pardon me if I reach for my Larousse Gastronomique! She projects her tits and pumps up her lips at the blokes then produces a Marmite soup/stew, something like that, for the cooks. Not on my time baby! Not on my time.
Quite so, quite so… v+!
Having just read your sprawling piece ‘mou reflecting poorly on Nigella Lawson’s cooking programmes I am relieved of a lonely burden I have suffered myself! Nail on head!
I think it’s a poorly produced programme.
But clearly there’s a market for it. Look at the range of cooking shows. Something for everybody except a truly naked chef.
‘mou?
Quite so, sands, quite so… a market for everything and everything for a market!
I remember the days -doesn’t seem that long ago, when the yanks were selling pet rocks. I remember reading somewhere that this had occurred as a result of a bet. Some marketing man dared some other marketing man, “I bet you I can sell rocks!” And suddenly there was this huge campaign on selling pet rocks… along with rock house, rock garden, rock bed… their their rock cemeteries!
And, of course, there’s an infinite market for porn.
the theory of capitalism is “make a product and a market will spring forth like a clear spring gushing forth from peak of a mountain!”
With instructive shows, I want to be instructed, not entertained (whatever that means). If I was keen to see pole dancers, I’d go off to Poland or wherever they dwell; and if I want to see a cook, then that’s what the show should be about: cooking. Camera on the hands and the food. The ear should be able to hear only the voice of the instructor and the sound of the cooking, not sound effects that drown everything, nor visual effects that have nothing to do with the cooking.
There is a profusion of these cooking shows but most of them add nothing new, teach nothing to anyone and are made only to collect advertising revenue and dumb down the couch potatoes!
Alas! Alack! Oh, me! Oh my!
Stop me if I’ve told you this before. Once small son, hands behind back, strode up to great-granny on the occasion of very VIP ‘old’ birthday., she holding court surrounded by family and ring-ins. He announced “Here ya. I got you …[she extended a hand] …a rock.”
His hand came out from behind his back. I hadn’t known of this, hadn’t seen. Thunk. She looked at the rock. I felt alarmed there was damage. She laughed so much it was funny to see. :/
‘mou I take it you are not offering yourself for a ‘cook-everything-in-the-altogether- and-soak-up-the-cosmic-rays’ cooking show on community television close to you.
Certainly not, sands! I would not want the whole world to swoon at such unimaginably Pheidian beauty! Could never live with meself!
I tried to stop you telling the rocky story but you kept going on and on and on -couldn’t get a word in edgewise!
Nicely punned.
That’s nice you didn’t burrow your way in, ato. That’s my cute kid story ‘Doing the damage to the old lady’s phalanges.’
Osso Bucco – much like Elizabeth David’s method:
In a big heavy bottomed pan, toss the seasoned/floured slices of veal shin and a sliced onion and brown, carefully turning veal (ensure the marrow stays put). Add a sliced carrot, sliced stick or two of celery, smashed clove or two of garlic and then some thyme and bay leaves. Stir and then add a glass of good white wine, a little water and a few dollops of tomato paste. Gently mix and then add salt and pepper to taste and the sliced up peel of a lemon. Add the juice of that lemon as well. Cook very slowly until cooked. Carefully turn meat two more times. Takes a couple of hours. If the family does not care for the marrow the cook (me) gets to pluck it all out and eat before serving. Serve with whatever you fancy but I would never use instant noodles. Probably a very good mashed potato and some decent greens (beans).
How good it is does indeed depend on the quality and age of the meat. The older meat will not take up the lemon flavour very well and it does have too much gristle. I’d say use veal or just don’t attempt the dish.
Thanks, Vivie.
Yes, I should have had a gander at Liz David’s book first but, in my old wisened age, I AM trying to be creative and not to get too influenced by others… says he who has just been influenced by the worst of them!
Bugger!
I meant to write: toss the veal slices in the flour ……… not toss in the pan. You know what I mean.
Sometimes it is best to stick to the basics or the tried and true.
Night night.
Just a tip here Viv, to broaden your culinary vocabulary.
We often refer to ‘dusting’ with flour, or ‘dredging’. And if the flour is seasoned: pane. Pronounced ‘panay’ (actually I don’t know how to spell it).
You could score a point over a guest–or a host with the correct terminology.
I’m not particularly partial to dusting or pane-ing (pane=bread, thus=breadifying) the meat before cooking. I mean, if I want to thicken the sauce, I make a bechamel or roux or some such concoction, with the ‘erbs and spices I like.
I also don’t particularly like browning meat like osso bucco -but lots depends on lots of things.
Noo, noo, noo. Your conflating thickening with dusting. Yes, one can dust or coat meat to thicken dishes, however I was just concerned with the terminology. For instance one may dust a piece of fish or, even scallops before sauteeing.
There are numerous dishes, for chicken, or…say…calves liver, where one might paneeeeey prior to sauteeeing or frying.
That’s all. It’s the language
Thickening..mmm, now that’s another whole chapter. I don’t think that your up to that yet
I’m up to anything you can dish out, boy! I’m the very créme de la créme de la couisine, s’il vous plait!
Dusting and browning the dust on pieces of meat, feels and looks weird to me. I don’t mind it on fish, though, even there, I find the floury patina takes away from the integrity of the animal. Don’t mind dusting spuds, or zucchini, eggplants and suchlike but with meat, I like it clean. Some steaks I might sear but I just can’t get myself to dust it or paneeeeeeye it.
As for thickeners -what’s there to know? I hate cream on mains so, again, IF I have to use a thickener of any sort, it will again be light, though a bit of butter and oil together wouldn’t do too much damage. One needs bechamel, of course for the likes of mousaka or lasagna -and suchlike.
Well, the thickening depends on the rate at which the subject matter expands under heat. For instance arrowroot expands at a low temperature, whereas wheat flou requires a little bit of cooking through. Then there is fecule, cornflower, rice flour, blood ect, ect…and the list is endless.
It would be too much for you. Go and do some homework. Then come back and tell me the temperatures that the thickeners expand at. You see to do their job, they have to expand., or coagulate…Gerrit?
I’m off for some chow, Now.
VL, I’m with you here, I used to study Elisabeth David, she knew all about browning, thickening , paneering(?), browning gives the meat a nice colouring at the same time it also thickens the juices, sauces…
VL, you seem to know about cooking…
VL – I do not need any expansion of my culinery vocab. I meant toss and that is exactly what I do. Put a little flour, salt and pepper in a plastic bag. Pop in the meat, or the scallops or whatever, blow it up, hold it tightly shut and then toss around. You get it very lightly coated in flour. Dredging can give you chunks of flour stuck in one spot, it may not be even or light. You Poms only started to discover cooking in the late 70s.
“VL – I do not need any expansion of my culinery vocab. ”
Of course you don’t Viv, of course you don’t. There, there now, don’t fret . I’m sure you’ll be ballotining, batonetting & brunoise-ing too
Do you make a ‘tossed’ salad the same way? Or do Australians have their own vernacular for that ?
One cannot, by virtue of the definition of the word (European), toss something in a bag. One can shake it of course
..And I’m sure that lots of Ozzies do 
One can be a tosser of course.
Vivie, “discover” is a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?
I wish “undiscover” existed as a word. It’d be more apt about poms and cuisine! The yanks have come out with “deconstruction” (when chattering about Lit) maybe that could also suffice!
All good cooking evolved from Athens 6th cent. BC. They made snags back then. Snags, bread and wine! Do mortals need anything more?
Then, of course, they discovered smoked paprika and ouzo! The gods, used to nectar and ambrosia, became so jealous, they came down to Greece for lunch and dinner!
snags cause cancer: http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/281829/20120114/sausage-cancer-5-causing-food.htm
Modern pommy and yankie ones do. Ancient Greek ones turned you into a jovial, genial, lusty Adonis, or Helen.
..Or, a voluptuous, curvy, sensuous, NIGELLA?
No, certainly not a Nigella!
She’s no more voluptuous or curvey than my old bean bag!
Perhaps we’re looking at a different image there, lad.
Fleshy, yes, fatty, yes but evoking lust or sex? yikes!
I’ll leave you with this. And just a word about going to see an optometrist.
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?q=nigella+lawson&hl=en&sa=X&rlz=1C1CHNU_enAU375&biw=1280&bih=703&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=x-qM9BvxvevsBM:&imgrefurl=http://noskinnywomen.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/lots-of-nigella-lawson-love-all-of-a-sudden/&docid=emq5UVyyi0AVyM&imgurl=http://noskinnywomen.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/nigella-lawson-415×2891.jpg%253Fw%253D600&w=415&h=276&ei=zGETT52jIcmfiQek1sFD&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=739&vpy=409&dur=768&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=158&ty=113&sig=102385618587811697440&page=2&tbnh=151&tbnw=205&start=21&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:21
Yuk!
False, false, false!
Fluff, fluff, fluff!
Marketing, marketing, marketing!
Pretentious, pretentious pretentious!
Yuukkkkkkoooooh!
My eyes aren’t perfect but they can discern faux from fabulous!
VL – when people talk to me as you do I have a tendency to want to whack them in the head. In fact, I did do that once I long time ago. Fortunately you are nowhere within reach. I am not a chef, I am a cook. You, on the other hand, are up yourself.
a long time ago.
Lucky that you don’t call shaking–tossing, in front of Gordon Ramsdiculous. He’d “definitely” give you a whack, AND a boot, straight out of the back door to his kitchen.
The whole point is/was: That I realise that you are ‘not’ a chef. THAT’S why I was giving you advice. It’s not my fault that you wanted to argue and contradict me.
You stick to committees and I’ll stick to culinary terms and methods
You dredger VL! Go eat worms!
VL – I do not need, want or care for your ‘advice’. You are arguing with me, contradicting me. Whether one shakes or tosses the plastic bag is neither nor there. But in my case I do toss it. Shaking it does not do the job at hand. Now, go shove your culinary terms up your arse.
WoW, you do turn nasty, don’t you.
They are not ‘my’ culinary terms. They are internationally accepted terms.
However, as you have chosen to be rude and ungracious, instead of conciliatory and interested, I’ll just leave you to wallow. Oink off!
VL – you are either nuts or mad or both. To think that you’d even think I’d be talking about dredging meat at the dinner table or trying to score a point with a guest or host – well just beyond belief really. Give me strength !
Lastly – I do not have any interest in your advice on the use of culinary terms. I know enough of them but many people do not. So I speak in everyday language, not French or Italian. I am not up myself and I am not a show off. Next you will probably be telling me how to boil an egg and explaining how to tell the age of an egg and how they should be stored.
Youse are too objective and literal for me. My language is often figurative, abstract or subjective*: Things that I find lacking in Australian speech, language, books & poetry.
Sarcasm, metaphors and odd analogies, seem to elude the local population too.
Lets just leave it. Let’s pick up the steak; put on some oil; put it on The BBQ; and cook it. Let’s have a cold beer or wine while we do that. Then we can talk about Tony Abbott and my new fence!
Helvi often takes me literally–and I can see why.
*Of course I can be objective, when it’s called for.
Oink.
Don’t worry Jules, us ozzies are straight talkers. As always your balance here is greatly needed and admired
Ah, VL – I have been known to use sarcasm and stuff like that but usually only to a friend when talking about a third party not present. As a general rule, I don’t see the place for it here.
I’ll see you elsewhere. Up above the conversation has turned to things in New Zealand.
I only watch Nigella Lawson for the double entendres.
Trouble is, with her cleaver (or should that be something else?) she stretches them too much! Turns them into triple entendres and shimmering fantasies. Not what I call helpful ingredients when burning offerings on the altar of the gods.
I see Nigella as food porn and little else. Compared to a lot of aother food shows many which I find drab, shes entertaining.
I see Nigella as food porn and a lot more else -but not as a cook!
Can’t stand her body language, her coy, “fuck-me-please” eye play, her sucking of every utensil in the kitchen of every one of her fingers… She hasn’t got a kitchen there but a dildo shop! Yukkkkkk! And the camera is almost fixed on her face, hardly ever on what she’s doing to the food and how the food looks.
Jimmie Oliver is a bit better. At least he does cook a decent meal occasionally, even it is crammed full with gimmicks and gagas!
Well I think we agree Ato by and large. Like you I don’t think shes a cook.
Isn’t any cooking show gimmicky. After all most the time they’re backed by a product/s.
Quite right, algie, no product, no cooking show. It’s as simple as that.
Never watch commercial channels anyhow and the ABC cooking shows are quite drab, really. When I watch them I’m looking for technical stuff. What the ingredients are made off (particularly the unusual ones) how they react to fire or relate to other ingredients, that sort of thing.
There’s a show on the ABC called, I think, “Food Factory” which occasionally is interesting because the presenter goes right into what different products are made of. Can be quite good fun. I liked the one about the pop corn!
There’s a show called ‘River Cottage’ on the ABC which isn’t too bad. Presenter is a male chef (no cleavage, and not sexy) who tries to teach pommies how to cook basic, nutritious meals with inexpensive, fresh ingredients.
The young people need more of this, and less of Nigella tripping over her boobs, or Jamie tripping over his words (and worrying about whether or not ‘Jules’ is going to beat him up, again).
Alge, I’m with you, Nigella’s show is not a real cooking show, it’s entertainment like so much on ABC and of course even on BBC…the GREY Osso Bucco did not look good on TV, so she grates some carrots for colour…it’s the producers call, not Nigella’s.
I seen her on some other show and she is quite a serious intelligent person.
Viv, as for her big bum, I think that goes with her voluptuous Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, at least we haven’t got ‘them’ (BIG bottoms)
PS. Entertainment like the irritable IPA boys giggling with Tim Palmer on the Drum, when they are discussing dead Afghan soldiers…sad really.
Yes, Helvi. Big bum not a bad thing – she would look odd with big tits and a tiny bum.
I don’t mind Nigella at all really. But she does LOVE chocolate doesn’t she? Hubby sees her and mutters something about chocolate again and then buggers off.
She’d probably fall over with a timy bum. Needs a counterbalance.
Exactly, Algy. I can see it now.
You wouldn’t know a good recipe if it hit you in the face
Probably, Hungsie, probably!
But I have a CV of “yummmms” and “that’s fantastic!” and “can I have the recipe of this?” and, “this is utterly delicious!”
BBQ two weeks from now at cousin’s place. She’s asked me to cook something, “anything you cook will be delicious, George…”
I get hit in the face by lots of things, Hungsie. Some actually have a good, educational, enlightening effect upon my mindset, others, of course, are downright nasty.
lol, good answer your majesty
I watched Nigella murder the beef shanks. I couldn’t believe what she was doing to that cut of meat. I don’t think I could have summoned up the nerve to try eating it! You can do great Osso Bucco but the meat should be young – veal in fact. Hard to get it now though so I don’t do it anymore.
So, Ato, are you embarking on a salvage job?
I think that ‘cleavage’, is more appropriate, where Nigella is concerned, Viv.
Hypocrite
Alas, Nigella has two “cleavages” and one of them is inside her skull.
Maybe VL but Ato has a different take. She does have a big bum. And who on earth serves mini store bought sausages at a dinner party? Not me.
Wasn’t that a stupid idea? I mean “sausages?” Christ!
I’m soooo not interested in bodies! I don’t like the extremely obese and I don’t like the extremely skinny but anything in between I simply don’t notice. I want to hear what they say and what they do. If Nigella was any good in that porn shop of hers, I would give a stuff if she weighed a ton… well, for a cook, I’d be asking a few questions about the credibility of a cook who gets so fat but still, I’d be looking at the dishes she’d be putting together.
With Nigella, I keep thinking the directors will be running Shirley Bassey’s song, “Big Spender” under her over-lipsticked words!
Shirley in this:
But Nigella reminds me of this:
Artistic sacrilege, I know.
Luckily, Vivie, I’ve got even more time to think about it.
Actually, I had bought some osso just to try it myself before I did the cooking for the kids. It tasted tender enough and certainly had the usual good flavour, so I went back and bought a couple more kilos of it. Then cooked it with my lot of favourites. Then tasted it. It was fine. Finally, I separated the good meat from the gristle and the bone and minced it. Now it’s refrigerated till next week.
It will become a bolo type sauce eventually, unless I come up with something else. Mrs Ato is looking through some Coles mags at the mo but I doubt she’ll find anything to match my fantasy!
If I come up with anything different, I might just forget this and begin again. Disseminate this mixture among other mince mixtures that I always have in the frizzer.
But Ato, what did you do with the marrow? That little special bit which I luuuurrrvvve.
The wild duck I cooked last night was great. Not the tenderest but I love the flavour. Only 6 pieces of shot in it !! Hubby had crumbed lamb cutlets.
The marrow is minced with the rest of the meat Vivie. Why, did you have some other idea?
Tell me what you would do with the whole chop. How would you cook osso b? (If you could get the right cuts)
I’ve put recipe at the top of the page. I get to eat the marrow, Ato ……… just me. hehehe
Love the marrow.
As kids we were told it was good for your brain so we used to eat it most gleefully. Used to suck it relishingly out of every bone!
Bugger!
The squirt just called and said she and her friends can’t make it because one of them is a little sick so they’re all heading her way but mother said that she (the squirt) said that she loved the idea of osso bucco and pasta! That kid is getting her taste buds educated in other schools! Hmmm!
OK, I’ll simply freeze this until next week… add the smoked paprika first… and the leeks…
It was cooked in sherry, ouzo and a lovely sweet “mixer” liquid which I had used on the turkey. Delicious stuff. So far, so good!
D’oh! When will I ever learn? Forgot the ouzo.
Ah, mon cher, cher chéri, ma fille chérie! Ce n’est pas très important!
“I suggest the lad stays away because he’ll get far too hormonal”.
Is that a back handed olive branch?
Not a branch, lad, not a branch!
And I’m fast running out of olives. Don’t know if they’ll last till around May for the new crop.
A loaf of crusty bread to break, perhaps. A goatskin of Bacchus’ favourite to drink beneath a fig tree. A honey-dripping fig to open up and check its entrails (More prophetic than the entrails of birds).
Let the lyre girls enter!
Hey Jules, log on now as Hippo
I know. I know. Ask me!
Smoked sweet paprika!
Absowootely!
Can’t cook anything without smoked paprika! Sacrilege in the temple of the omphalos!