Dear Virginia,
I think it’s time that you and I stopped beating around the bush and that we both recognised my deep and abiding passion for a wonderful librarian-style woman, only slightly my senior. And how could I possibly be anything but head over heels when I rush to switch on the morning alternative television massively relieved to discover that Aunty has not replaced you with Scarlett Johansson – as was mooted in the Pig’s Arms men’s convenience last weekend ?
Now, I know that some men (Manne for example and I use the term loosely) has said that he prefers to get up to a woman who looks slightly less like she’s slept in her suit in the park and been dragged backwards through a hedge after a rough night on the tiles, but not me. I adore those 40 shades of verdant hessian couture draped resplendently over – can I say boldly – a woman’s bosom ? I’m sure that with so much of the morning news being about combat, that I should expect a woman to win a man’s heart through hand to hand combat with another woman. And I’m not for a minute suggesting that Jennifer Kyte, that winsome former 80’s siren could ever give you the slightest tussle, let alone win hands down. Not even mentioning Jana Wendt.
I think we have to face the reality that going to air before the wardrobe and make-up people have returned from their go-slow protest against Mark Scott’s latest round of cuts, is a pretty tough gig. But it’s definitely one that you bring off with a certain je ne sais quoi.
I remember with a great sigh the day you left radio. It was me sighing, not your lovely warm nasal symphonic tones. But I was richly rewarded when there, seated in dignified repose next to Joe Gilanese was not some minor goddess like Katherine Zeta Jones, but YOU ! Looking for all the world that you were still on radio. Still talking to me. Only me. And certainly not the autocue.
Can I say that I am so smitten that I find it nearly impossible to tear myself away from the small digital Samsung (free with the purchase of a largish LED television of the same make). I sit there for hours in my singlet and socks despite the deafening call of the bathroom, the minor nuisance of working for a living and the poison pen letters from the little old lady – and her cat – across the road – who even as we speak have their noses pressed to the front window in anticipation of a glimpse of chest carpet.
Virginia, I know that Joe has that coquettish Italian charm. I know that he has a conmanding grasp of the NEWS, but if you are willing to expand your horizons and take a fresh listen to one of your old radio fans, I know you wont be disappointed. Return my affection and see what rising up the charts with a bullet really means.
Your greatest fan,
Mistral
Voice said:
A Gillard galvanised socialist seeker outer of sexism might cast doubts upon the sincerity of your compliments, and say you really meant to pour scorn upon Trioli’s age, dress sense, and make up, and to say you find her unattractive and would be horrified to wake up in bed with her; but not me. Such a zealot might even characterize this article, written as it was in response to an unprofessional moment by a female TV presenter, as sexist, misogynist criticism culminating in a dubious double entendre; but not me. I have no idea what the second meaning of ” Return my affection and see what rising up the charts with a bullet really means.” could possibly be. And I’m certain you meant to be as sincere as I am being.
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Hung One On said:
yo
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H said:
I have seen Virginia Trioli interviewing people like Bekhoff and Jeannette Winterson and others on the ABC Arts Show on sunday afternoon. I have found her to be an excellent interviewer, knowledgeable and charming.
I don’t watch those early morning shows on any channel, only sometimes I catch the Italian news on SBS, just for the language.
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H said:
sorry, Berkhoff…
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Voice said:
I find her absolutely charming on that program. She asks interesting, intelligent questions without imposing herself too much on the interview. Good looking too.
Shame about The Incident but aren’t we glad our own momentary indiscretions aren’t played out on national television? If any of US were ever in an unfortunate moment to be critical of somebody in an ugly and embarrassing way, Emmjay could remove it without a permanent blot on our copybook.
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H said:
I think here on Pigs Arms people are too careful not write anything that might be hurtful to the other ‘authors’ appearing here. It’s too small a joint for anything but politeness.
On the UL the moderators make sure nothing too bad gets through. I remember Warrigal once saying that the dear moderators often save him from himself by not publishing all his posts.
I sometimes wish that the UL moderators would delete some of mine… 🙂
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astyages said:
Helvi, I think we’re just nicer people than some of those who write on unleashed… On the latter site, apart from the usual trolls and ideologues there are a number of people who think that the purpose of debate is not to discover the truth of any particular issue, but rather to prove that ‘I’m right and you’re wrong!’ Such people don’t care about truth… merely about bullying people into accepting their own often ill-thought-out ideas and prejudices.
I’ve been busy trying to persauade some of the better contributors to Unleashed to visit us here; even some of those with whom I often disagree… but who do not use the fact of that disagreement as an excuse for abuse. However, thus far there appears to be a general reluctance to try anything new. But who knows? Maybe repeated attempts will eventually engage their curiosity enough to prompt them to try it.
When they do, I’m sure they will be pleasantly surprised by our little blog… What we have here seems to me to be a very special kind of community; instead of destructively ‘competitive argument’ and a continual trying to tear each other down, we have here a community of people who encourage and support each other; who appreciate each other, not in spite of, but rather BECAUSE of our differences.
Ladies and gentlemen, please charge your glasses, as I’d like to propose a toast, “To the Pig’s Arms! May she become a beacon of light in a darkening world! Long live the Pig’s Arms; the best virtual pub in e-space!”
🙂
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Julian said:
I like to move it, move it!
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Voice said:
re: move it. Me to JL.
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Julian said:
We should get together then?
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Voice said:
… too
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Julian said:
There you go again, talking grammar.
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Voice said:
Read it and weep Madeleine. (That should have been ‘me too’.)
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Julian said:
Gaocha! Although I was writing about moving the juices in Unleashed!!
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Julian said:
And poor old Asty. He’s trying to persuade literatis to come down here- and I keep squabbling with them.
It must be like pushing something uphill.
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Voice said:
I wasn’t talking grammar JL. I thought you might think I meant ‘Me to Julian’ (since that is what I wrote) but what I meant was ‘Me too, Julian.’
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Julian said:
Well I’m coming along with The Placard and my home knitted PA’s Tee.
I’m hoping to have muffins with Koch and Mel.
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Julian said:
Why don’t you wear some software..boom boom!
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astyages said:
I didn’t even know about ‘the incident’ Voice, as I didn’t even know of her at all until Emmjay posted this letter… So tell me please, what incident? What happened?
🙂
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Voice said:
The long version’s on the web mate. All over it.
The short version is that after an interview with a politician was aired, she, the newsreader, made a face and and twirled her finger around a few times as you do to indicate you think someone is crazy. The photo above catches her in the middle of it. It really was an ugly (in all senses of the word) way of criticising the pollie and extremely unprofessional.
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astyages said:
Thanks for the info Voice… just one question… who was the pollie?
🙂
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Emmjay said:
Helvi, I’ve also seen Virginia Trioli doing quality interviews in the Arts program on Sunday. I think that it’s very much her milieu. I agree, she is well informed there, intelligent and charming.
But early morning news on ABC2 certainly is not her cup of tea. The photo I pasted upstairs is a fair and accurate representation of a nightmarish woman – who is clearly unsuited to the hurly burly of news reporting. She has little or no connection with with either the stories or little old men in their pyjamas – or less. And an adornment to the Juanita Phillips school of decorous news reading, Ms Trioli clearly isn’t.
The ABC has a (or maybe the word these days is HAD) a cohort of excellent newsreaders (almost all women) and Graeme Cree has filled Mike Bailey’s galoshes amply. But Virginia and Joe look more like two startled rabbits in the spotlight on ABC2 breakfast, and I think they just do not cut the mustard.
Perhaps the tone of the piece I wrote is not so much an ungenerous commentary on Ms T as it IS more of a reflection of a person who clearly should not turn on the TV before 6 pm.
I apologise to the Pig’s patrons who are offended by this stiletto job, but it was never my intention to censor pieces by me or anyone else on the grounds that they were not rosy and warm.
Mostly we do try to warmly entertain our delightful circle of friends of the PA. But sometimes a bit of venting is OK too.
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Voice said:
Pish-tush.
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Voice said:
I remember reading something about the usefulness of scented candles and spas when venting type situations arise. Written by a kind chap with the same name as yours.
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Julian said:
I’ve followed you down here Vwuh.
I was going to write about vents, when I first read this, but decided not to, as it was about the vents in my suit jackets in London. It was a kind of hierarchy sort of thing . You know; the size the ,length . Double or single.
Then it all went to none.
So I won’t write about it!
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Voice said:
Of course if you were ever to censor a piece, it should be on the basis of what it IS, not what it isn’t.
Self-censorship. Not quite the same thing as censorship really. Don’t tell me you’ve never done any self-censorship? I have. Recently.
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Voice said:
Madeleine:
Did you hear that?
Julian:
Savile Row? OK, so I watch James Bond movies.
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Julian said:
I did progress to Saville Row- where The Beatles’ Apple offices were.
But my first suit was made by Eddie in South Ealing. He was a little (both in stature and business) , Jewish tailor and he made me a double vented, single breasted tonic-mohair suit that I wore like a ..well like a suit really.
Oh happy days. Burning around town in the sixties, seeing The Who, Jimmy James and The Vagabonds ect.
Visiting The Marquis Club and Hammersmith Palais..
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Voice said:
You corrected my spellling? Consider me to have written three paragraphs of outrage. 🙂 And you got it wrong.
That triviality aside. You are talking about another world, the Swinging Sixties. You make it sound like it is in the movies.
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Julian said:
You’re too late—I’ve gone to bed.
I’ve said before I don’t bother with spelling when I’m writing quickly. It interrupts the flow.
And my dictionary s at the bottom of the Garden.
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astyages said:
I wasn’t offended, Emmjay… just puzzled. But I do enjoy a little well-phrased (preferably non-abusive) vitriol at times… and we all vent occasionally… especially if we have to get up before 6.00 am.
🙂
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astyages said:
Julian, it must have been wonderful to have had enough money in the sixties to go to all those places and see all those bands…
As for myself, I wasn’t in London until the 70s… and then I never went to any of those fancy venues you mentioned, but was a regular denizen of Matilda’s Folk Club, in the Old Swan at the top of Kensington Church Street, not fifty yards from the entrance to Notting Hill Gate tube station.
And I’d never heard of a band called ‘The Vagabonds’ although at the time I was most certainly a vagabond… Wonder if I knew any of them?
🙂
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Madeleine said:
OMG that was painful to watch – heard about it, hadn’t seen it.
It’s the sisterhood operating.
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Julian said:
I want my name in blue writing.
OK. bl julian ue writing
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Julian said:
Ho F..g Ho.
Stop making my fone bleep. I’m watching a movie!!
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Little Old Lady's Cat said:
I am not at the window Mister Mike. I am curled up on the chair waiting for my human to come and pay me some attention like she used to instead of looking out the window all the time.
BTW I am a Burmese.
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Emmjay said:
Are you a freedom fighter ? Nobel laureat ? Peace activist ? Or are you just kidding – you’re really Cambodian 🙂
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Little Old Lady's Cat said:
I am a cat. Hence, Little Old Lady’s CAT.
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Julian said:
Not ‘ Little old lady’s catterly lover’ ?
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Emmjay said:
Very good. Gold award for punnishing services.
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Julian said:
5:17 Qld time.
Bet I’m up before you Asty.
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Algernon said:
What did you wet the bed
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astyages said:
A safe enough bet, that one, Julian… 11.21 Adelaide time.
😉
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Algernon said:
What did you wet the bed.
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Algernon said:
Oops
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Julian said:
I had a rude letter on my mind.
It is to a bank and a valuer. Not on my behalf, but a friend who has come up against banksters and remedials.
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Emmjay said:
Was the letter in French, Jules ? Good for sticking it to the bank, I’d imagine.
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Julian said:
Queenslandese!
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Mirriyuula said:
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Little Old Lady!
Little Old Lady Who?
Bloody yodellers! Always trying to get in on the action.
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Voice said:
Pay that Mir. And, belatedly, Jules.
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Julian said:
Nasal symphonic? Odd bedfellows!
Not picking holes, but just staring at my keyboard.
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Algernon said:
51 today, just thought I’d be a little anal and let you know.
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Julian said:
Congrats. I was 51 last year…49 this!
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astyages said:
Happy birthay Algernon!
I’m 54 myself, Julian… and proud of it! In this respect I’m much like Hung playing ‘cricket’ with his blogs… every extra run on the board is a little victory… truly, I never expected to live this long!
😉
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Algernon said:
Hung brings out his friends to help him along. I read some of his responses to a blog on unleashed from earlier this year. Now realising who they were it was hilarious. Pure theater.
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Hung One On said:
Does this mean we all love Virginia?
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Hung One On said:
Happy birthday young fella
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Julian said:
I just popped in for another look- and I definitely prefer her web spread.
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Julian said:
She looks hot to me.
Too my shame I had not heard of her before.
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astyages said:
I’d never heard of her before either, Julian… But you really MUST get out more often!
😉
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Julian said:
Why? It’s all on the web now!
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astyages said:
True Julian, but you might like to visit your optometrist…
😉
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Julian said:
No seriously, there are pictures of her on the web. Naked too…apart from her clothes.
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astyages said:
… or maybe a psychiatrist…
😉
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gerard oosterman said:
Imagineering&Jodee Rich.
Here please find Helen’s Razor’s love letter to Berkhoff.
http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/watch/default.htm?program=mediawatch&pres=20080915_2120&story=2
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astyages said:
If this is a love-letter, Emmjay, I’d hate to see what you might call ‘hate-mail’!
😉
PS: Who is Virginia Triolli… and should we be afraid of her?
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Voice said:
I think she’s a hapless female who once turned Mike down on a date.
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astyages said:
Ah! That explains a lot Voice…
😉
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Voice said:
Crikey mate. Take next weekend off.
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astyages said:
I agree, Voice… poor bugger needs a rest!
😉
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Emmjay said:
Was it the chest carpet line ?
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Voice said:
Why, would a weekend off help with that?
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