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OK, I know it’s a typo in the heading but it worked for me…
I’m in Hobart an about to talk to the Aussie cricket team, you know, rev ‘em up, for the next game. The Bish has pulled some strings so I can get into the change rooms. I’ve been given some notes as to what to say as I haven’t got a clue about motivation or how to motivate others. Unfortunately as I walk in I trip and drop all the notes and when I pick them up they seem a bit messed up. In the change room I see their faces but only recognize one, the vitamin salesman, Dicky something. Always on TV telling me that the vitamins are clinically proven but then fails to say what they are clinically proven for. What he also leaves out is that a ham salad sandwich will supply you with about the same level of ingredients found in those expensive little pills.
Anyway I start “Who’s Thorn?” I ask. Dicky speaks up “There’s no thorn in our side Father” he replies diligently. “Well is says here Thorn needs to lift his game.” Just then an official approaches and reads my notes. He speaks softly so the others can’t hear “Er, um, Father, the letters must have scrambled when you dropped your notes, it’s North”. “Well” I continue “North your forms gone south so we need you to show us what you have got. The team and all the fans are behind you, we know you can do it.” The room erupts with a roar, wow, these guys are really into it.
“Now kick long to someone in a better position than you and tackle hard” I boast informatively. “But Father this is a cricket team we don’t kick or tackle” states Dicky. “Oh, well, get behind the service line and hit deep, only rush the net when you have set your opponent up” I say. “But Father that’s tennis. We’re cricketers” Dicky bemoans. “Oh, okay then hit the ball long, hit the ball high, hit the ball over the fence unless it’s still six and out” to which the team responds with a almighty cry “And finally” I add “Sledge the crap out of them” to which the team raises me up on there collective shoulders singing “Australians all let us rejoice…….”
*****************
Julian said:
I don’t know which is quicker. The blogging or the slogging?
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Anonymously, joked said:
Both very pedestrian Jules!!
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H said:
The kids have gone swimming with their mums, and i have two minutes to myself.
Now, Hung, is that a photo of you good self, when you ‘was’ younger?
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Hung One On said:
Yes is it I about 5 years ago. Tutu says I haven’t aged a bit, well not much anyway
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H said:
Dear Tutu would say that, wouldn’t she…
Gez is saying, on his blog, that he’s kept his good looks (dispite being a Peter Styvesant man in his youth); I’m thinking about it…
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Hung One On said:
Oh, I have had a haircut since then
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Algernon said:
The coach looks like he’s sitting on a carrot.
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Hung One On said:
Pep talk worked so far
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Algernon said:
m clarke 166 r ponting 203 no. must of worked hung
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Hung One On said:
Yes, it’s all down to the good father
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Algernon said:
8dec/519 what does father say go for the jugular and a win by an innings or do them slowly.
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Hung One On said:
Could be a belter Algy
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Hung One On said:
Looks like Thorn didn’t do that well
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Algernon said:
2/not a lot. Thorn may be a problem for Pakistan.
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Algernon said:
Could be all over tomorrow Hung
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Hung One On said:
Not looking good for them. Maybe the Bish should of got Father to motivate them although I have it on good account that Sandy doesn’t speak Hindi
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Algernon said:
I see Butt has a 2 for. He could end up with 5 for if he keeps running batsmen out.
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Hung One On said:
Only 3 things wrong with Pakistani cricket, can’t bat, can’t bowl, can’t field
Ponting again went for the hook/pull before set. Not good for the future Algy
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Algernon said:
But he managed 209 Hung, Yousef caught him second time around. I can’t understand why they dropped Sami after the second test, swings the ball both ways, Our boys couldn’t play him.
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Hung One On said:
Well remember when we was kids. The coach would be livid. I know he made heaps but a simple catch put down at this level means a better side would have us on the ropes
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Algernon said:
Yes catches win matches and Pakistan can’t. At any level a letoff like that can be punished. I think some will retire within the next year.
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Voice said:
At one stage there it was 1/2010.
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Anonymously, joked said:
Was thtt just after midnight on the 31st? Or 6 in the morning?
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Hung One On said:
Omly omly omly
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Algernon said:
With mushrooms and ‘erbs!
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Algernon said:
Maybe that should have been ‘erbs ‘erbs ‘erbs.
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Hung One On said:
Don’t worry JL you’re not the omly one that thinks you’re a legend
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Julian said:
I used to sledge in the snow, down the slopes of Carisbrooke Castle.
And that IS clinically proven!
Not only that…But..
And also…??
A vitamin is only as good as a……
Oh well, It’s always the same sometimes.
Got any hospital stories Hung? I’m bored with cricket.
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Julian said:
News Flash:
Aussie players to be banned in Indian League.
Tell someone who cares.
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Hung One On said:
Well I am trying to write a story about a recent journey I took but am having little time to complete it, will try harder
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Julian said:
Oh, don’t take any notice of me. I was just stuck for words!!
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astyages said:
“No Thorn in our side…”
Nice one Hung!
😉
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Hung One On said:
I was hoping someone would get it, well done T2
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Julian said:
I put your thorn into T2’s blog.
Oh well, as I’ve said before, “I’m a legend in my own mind”.
Only.
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