Dear Julia and Tony,
Hi. Hung One On here. Look, I’m a nothing, yeah that’s right, a nothing but I have this thing called a vote. You want to know me when the election comes around but after that you don’t. You just go and do what ever you or your party wants to do. Then you will turn around and tell me that what you are doing is good for me. Yeah, sure, I’ll take a pay cut and lose compo rights so some CEO can go out on ten million. Give us a break.
See I’m in a safe seat, the seat of Port Adelaide. The sitting member is Mark or Michael or Matthew Butler. This guy will get in no matter what. I can vote for Donald Duck however the Labour bloke will get in. The Butler bloke doesn’t speak, text, phone or email. Yes, he did send me a letter once, wow, I almost once saw him at the supermarket and apparently he didn’t see me once at the art gallery. Overwhelmed, yeah, right.
Look, I’m writing to you as the current leaders of the political forces in Australia. This is addressed to you but it’s to all Australian political leaders, both past and present, government and opposition, to all those narrow agenda senators that thought they could make a difference. This is not personal however I address my concerns to you.
Will you negotiate with me over my income tax? Lets face it, both of you sat down with the mining industry and compromised on a deal, didn’t you? So I want you to sit with me an negotiate a deal for me to pay an appropriate amount of tax. See I’ve paid tax for 30 plus years. I effectively pay your wage. In theory you are my employee.
As my employee I now direct you to do the following,
- Increase the mining tax to 60% and if they don’t like lets get someone who does.
- Lets fix these basic issues, hunger, poverty, homelessness and hope
- Lets tax the zark out of the rich to pay for the poor just like Robin Hood
- Introduce Industrial Manslaughter so any CEO that disobeys safety and kills a worker goes to jail
- Stop taxing the poor. $6000 tax free, what a joke.
- Turn the tap off that sucks the Murray
- Abolish state governments – old world stuff no longer needed
- Bring back the death penalty for fine defaulters
- Introduce a 4 wheeled drive tax on all non-country vehicles to 5000 percent value of vehicle.
- Make Corporate CEO’s take a non benefit salary and tax the crap out of them. Then lets see how good they feel about things.
- Allow outlaw motorbike gangs to executed on sight
- No to gay marriage – we don’t want to inflict the gay community with the problems of marriage, now do we!
- Legalise drugs. Prohibition hasn’t worked. Let’s get it under control. Do you want your partner, child, family member or loved one to buy a drug made by a bikie in a backyard or what? Wouldn’t a pharmaceutical dose of heroin from a chemist be better then a money bag from a bikie?
- Lets arm the whales so they can fight back
Bugger it, you lot. I’m coming to parliament, Hung’s Parliament, Vote One Hung Parliament.
Written and authorised by Pee Dant for Hung’s Parliament Canberra.
Pingback: Hung’s New Parliament | Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle
gerard oosterman said:
Ho HOO, Hung’s our Pig’s Arms’ most astute political On Line Commentator, soo much better than Ms Annabelle from ABC !
H (not G)
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Why thank you H (not G)
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Thanks to all who voted for me yesterday. Yes I’m in Canberra and have assembled my PR team of Mark Latham and Wilson Tuckey. Stay tuned….
LikeLike
Voice said:
I turned on the TV and they’re talking about nothing else but you. Everyone is saying it’s a Hung parliament. How did you get so far so quickly?
LikeLike
Big M said:
Yes, Hung, your little essay was quite prophetic.
LikeLike
Warrigal said:
“woof, woof!”
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
bark bark
LikeLike
Algernon said:
do do do do do ddo do do doo do dod do do
LikeLike
Vivienne said:
You’re my kinda guy. x o x o
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Viv, I’m blushing
LikeLike
Emmjay said:
I’m liking it. Not only a hostile opposition, but a hostile government !
Excellent, your appendageness.
Can I have an ambassadorship to Moto GPs ?
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Most certainly
LikeLike
Voice said:
What is your pet cat policy?
LikeLike
Algernon said:
I’d make them into tennis racquets.
LikeLike
Big M said:
…or, a great mulch for fruit trees.
LikeLike
H said:
Algy, is Maxine going to lose her seat, you must have some inside information 🙂
LikeLike
astyages said:
Guitar strings… they make good guitar strings… and violin strings too… (Why else do you think violins sound like that!)
😉
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Sorry Voice, the only good cat is a dead cat
LikeLike
Voice said:
There goes the adorable pet servant vote.
LikeLike
Algernon said:
We’ll know tomorrow night Helvi, somehow I don’t think so. Alexander reckons he’s doorknocked 8000 houses, funny though he hasn’t door knocked here or the houses of anyone else I know. He also says he’s been doing this for six months yet its only the last six weeks or so that he’s had any visiblity in the electorate.
Last election, Maxine claimed that she had door knocked around 9000 homes, the difference was you regularly saw her doing this often alone. She also turned up to most community activies in that time. Alexander has not. In fact I find Alexanders claims about as creditable as any of Abbotts verbal claims.
Now the bookies have had him winning from Tuesday, I’m just scratching my head as to how. He also doesn’t appear to have the support of the Chinese community which have been in McKews pocket. Even the editorial in the local paper (murdoch owned) was mildly supportive of Maxine and of the Epping to Parramatta rail link as are many here. That issue is something that cloth ears like some at the ABC don’t understand.
Watching Lateline tonight there were two commentaries regarding the polls. Newspoll has it at 50-50 yet this appears to be out of kilter with every other poll that shows Labor ahead between 51 to 53. That suggests a slight loss of seats by Labor to about the status quo.
I have said for weeks that people will go to vote and look at Abbott and just say no.
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Are you old enough to vote Algy?
LikeLike
Algernon said:
I’m the same age as you Hung. Well born the same year.
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Does that mean I have to vote today?
LikeLike
Algernon said:
Well only if you want hung.
LikeLike
Algernon said:
Shit, what a disapointment. How does a good local member lose her seat to someone who has no intention of moving into the seat. I suppose its back to usual in Bennelong. Treated like a fiefdom.
LikeLike
Vivienne said:
All I can say at the moment is f…..a……a…..r…….k.
LikeLike
Algernon said:
Don’t hold back Vivienne.
LikeLike
astyages said:
Very droll Hung! Jam Sunday? There or here?
🙂
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Droll T2, foot hurting is it?
LikeLike
astyages said:
Actually, yes, it has been a bit lately… think I’ve been overdoing the walking a bit; am I sounding a bit cranky? Sorry mate! I’ll take a couple of panafen!
😉
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
droll (comparative droller, superlative drollest)
1. oddly humorous; whimsical
On reflection I think you are right 🙂
LikeLike
H said:
Very funny Hung, I too want the gays to be happy, and I’m all for taxing the mining magnates 60% , I’ll tell all the Robin Hoods to pass all the monies made from mining taxes to me!
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Thanks H
LikeLike
Big M said:
You got my vote, Sister, I mean, Brother!!
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Male Nurses United
LikeLike
gerard oosterman said:
Stop Murray from sucking the taps. Provide counselling isntead.
LikeLike
Hung One On said:
Glad to see someone is into health programs
LikeLike