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Story by Hung One On and Digital Mischief by Warrigal Mirriyuula
Hi. Sandy O’Way here, you know the, yes I guess you know by now. I’m in a cab on my way to the Nazi Goering Airport on Barley when the phone rings. Guess who, the Bish.
“Sandy, hop a plane to Greece. They are in great trouble and need your help to prevent them dropping out of the Eurozone” bleats the Bish.
“Hmm, Eroticzones, sounds good to me Bish” I answer eagerly.
“No you dimwit. The Eurozone is a common European currency used by all European countries, you know like Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain, Austria, Romania, Moldova and Switzerland you must rescue them or you’re fired” demands the Bish.
Hmm, there goes my comfy retirement but Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain, Austria, Romania, Moldova and Switzerland spells PIGSARMS. It’s a sign from Gordon, I’m on a mission from GOD! This must be connected to the Pigs Arms, the home of pink drinks and Trotters Ale, well I’ll do it for them, they are worth saving.
On the plane I am seated next to a strangely attractive female dressed in black leather and teased hair however there is something not quite right here, like since when do women have an Adams apple and a five o’clock shadow, hmm.
“Hi cutey. I’m Olivia Neutron Bomb” er, um, she states and extends here rather hairy hand.
We shake hands and she nearly crushes it, crikey more grip than a hooker up the Cross. “Er, um Sandy O’Way, nice to meet you, now can you give me my hand back” I blurt in pain and agony.
“ I’ve just finished my last year at Rydell’s High School and had to leave behind my boyfriend, John Travolting, but look sweetie I’m always open to any mile high suggestions” she gushes batting her eyelashes faster then a hummingbird on heat. “You see Father, I got chills. They’re multiplyin’. And I’m losin’ control. Cause the power you’re supplyin’, it’s electrifyin’! You’re the one that I want, (you are the one I want), o,o, oo, honey, The one that I want. (you are the one I want), o,o,oo, honey. The one that I want, (you are the one I want), o,o, ooooo, The one I need.
Oh, yes indeed”
“Er, um, well, look Miss, I’m a parish priest and I’m on a mission from GOD.” I search unwittingly for an answer to dispel, well, um, this young lady.
“So you’re in the missionary position Father? See Greece is the word, Greece is the word, is the word that you heard, It’s got groove it’s got meaning, Greece is the time, is the place is the motion, Greece is the way we are feeling” she says.
“No I’m off to save Greece from dropping out of the Eurozone.” I state rather firmly.
“Well look up my old friend, Evangeos Venizelopoulos, he is a handsome Geek man that likes things Greek style in every way, if you know what I mean” he, er, um, she smirks.
Well no, I don’t know what you mean but someone get me out of here.
I head to Evangoes’ office but I mean fancy being in Greece, the centre of the world, handsome men, pretty women and the best food I have ever eaten. Yeah, Greece is the word.
“So Evangoes” I start “ the country is up shit creek. What are you going to do about it?”
“Well, I will win the next election and trash everything from the IMF and anyone else” he says rather firmly.
“The IMF?” I ask rather dimwittingly.
“Yes, the Internationally Myopic Financers” he replies.
“Hmm, what about asking people to pay tax? I mean Christine “Frenchy” LaGrange, head of the IMF, said so herself only the other day” I moot carefully.
“Sir, you insult me and my nation. We pay no tax. Tax is a pox. When I attend the school dance with the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies there is no talk of tax. We will win the dance off and fund the country that way. Anyway, Frenchy has insulted my car, a Datsun 120Y, and I have challenged her to a race to the death” he asserts loudly and demonstratively.
“So Evangoes, what is life for you after politics?” I ask.“Well” says Evangoes “Frenchy has promised me a head job in the car park so I expect to be Le Comminsioner de stationnement [The Commissioner of Parking] I guess.”
I rest my car.
Therese Trouserzoff said:
I think Warrigal has cornered the market with his 2 horsepower V8 Customline Athens Taxi.
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
Message from Hung….. via Emmjay.
Dear Friends at the Pigsarms,
Thank you for your kind words. I am doing really well at the moment and
if things stay on track I might be able to come back and comment next
year. I now sit at wonder how wonderful life is, am really happy with my
job and Tutu and I are getting along really well and have made
significant progress. I still have the odd day when things go pear
shaped but unlike before its only every now and then.
I miss you all very much and still consider all of you my friends. I
will read stuff on the Arms so you know I will read any comments made
about the good Father. I will send more stories as they come up and with
the magnificent Warrigal pictures I feel like the Blues Brothers and
that we are getting the band back together and of course we are on a
mission from GOD [Gordon O’Donnell]
Cheers to all
Mark
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V.L said:
Cheers mate.
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Big M said:
Good on you, Sister.
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vivienne29 said:
Pleased to know that you are improving. Your stories are great.
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sandshoe said:
It sure is a delight to read your latest stories. Rest up as you need to Mark of course. I hope you can get lots of rest. Thank you for the letter.
Christina.
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algernon said:
Great stories anyway HOO. look forward to many more debates when you’re up to it.
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V.L said:
Apparently, John, likes a massage now & again. Especially in his ‘eurozone’.
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V.L said:
For those of you that are confused.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/sns-rt-gloria-allred-john-travolta-lawsuitmt1thewrap4014-20120516,0,305056.story
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helvityni said:
…for those of you who are interested in celebrity gossip… 🙂
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V.L said:
Well, maybe you gossip about your neighbours and friends Helvi – – -I prefer celebs. I like to see that they areas normal as Merv & Mulga…And Hadron!
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helvityni said:
Do we have to gossip at all?
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V.L said:
No, it is not obligatory. It’s by personal election – as is every comment .
I made a comment linked to Hung’s article. He wrote this: “I’ve just finished my last year at Rydell’s High School and had to leave behind my boyfriend, John Travolting,”
I then wrote: “Apparently, John, likes a massage now & again. Especially in his ‘eurozone’.”…Also a vague allusion to the fact that the eurozone is getting massaged in the ‘B’anking area. Also John, likes certain zones massaging…….As of course is evident, in the article that I posted.
So, I was on topic. You probably missed that? Never mind, the moment has gone – if there ever was one.
It’s hard to converse with you Helvi – we are on different planes. Never mind. Have a good weekend.
I’m off to walk my dogs. I may bark with them too!!!
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V.L said:
Nice flow. I do love mixed metaphors too 🙂
“faster then a hummingbird on heat. “
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sandshoe said:
Surely as near Greeks and almost rans we are indebted to the writer for the simple truth ‘Tax is a pox’. 😉
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Big M said:
I’m inebriated to the writer, too, HOO.
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gerard oosterman said:
http://tatts.com/racing/2012/5/31/PR/3
It had to happen Hung. Open the link and there is a black caviar-like horse in the name of OOsterman. Just cheer him on, will ye. Nr 8 (Ten past three today).
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helvityni said:
WOW, I did not know you were a horse!
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gerard oosterman said:
That’s were the neighing come from.
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sandshoe said:
That’ll be a Brobdingnag maybe. I’ve heard of them. There’s a woman and when the horse float arrives, she whips around the back and…
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gerard oosterman said:
Batting eyelashes faster than a hummingbird on heat. Well done Hung well.
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vivienne29 said:
Exxcellent.
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helvityni said:
Is this the same Sandy O’Way, whose Bali holiday pictures we saw here a couple years ago…. 🙂
Warrigal, your mischief reminds me of a scene in one of Sasha Cohen movies…Borat?
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algernon said:
Struth Hung, you might even drag Ato out of the woodwork with this post. Another jem keep them coming.
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V.L said:
I think not…at the moment anyways….He’s sorely pissed, and sorely missed!
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