Simulated photo of a fitter, more youthful Emmjay
I come from the west where the floorboards is rough
Hey HO says Mikey
And the life on the boards is hard, mighty tough
Says Particle Mick the sander.
Them nail heads and staples is sharp, sure enough
Hey HO says Mikey
I pull ’em and punch ’em and fill ’em with stuff
Says Particle Mick the sander.
I’m wearin’ this face mask to keep out the dust
Hey HO says Mikey
To hold back me lungs, Lads, from gettin’ a crust
Says Particle Mick, the sander.
I shave-hooks the corners and belt sands the rest
Hey HO says Mikey
Hopin’ Mr Makita is up to the test
Says Particle Mick the sander.
I fine sands the last pass and sees the dust fly
Hey HO says Mikey
And I ain’t sentimental with this tear in my eye
Says Particle Mick the sander.
Then I wipes up with metho to catch the sap rise
Hey HO says Mikey
Me knees is bad hurtin’, they’ll be my demise
Says Particle Mick the sander.
Well, it’s time for the first coat and I’m startin’ to grin
Hey HO says Mikey
As I prise off the lid of the Feast Watson tin
Says Particle Mick the sander.
Then I cuts in the corners and works the stain in
Hey HO says Mikey
And rollers the wet edge and keeps the coat thin
Says Particle Mick the sander.
I chooses Japan Black with finish satin
Hey HO says Mikey
It comes up like magic and I’s packin’ it in
Says Particle Mick the sander.
There’s a moral to this story, I’m tell in’, it’s true
Hey HO says Mikey
Stay away from floor sandin’ if it’s the last thing you do
Says Particle Mick the sander.
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
One of the first sky scrapers built in Sydney was Caltex House in Kent str. by a Dutch spouted builder ‘Bredero’, ( Dick Dusseldorf) later Civil & Civic (Lend-Lease) I worked there for at least a year. All floors had parquetry flooring which were sanded. A burly looking bloke I remember well. While his machine was rumbling away and he was slowly traversing the floor, the conversation came to ‘love’. I don’t remember why anymore. I do remember his words of wisdom, while lifting his giant sander; “ah love” he sighed, ” it is nothing more than a bit of hair on it.”
I was totally taken by that laconic statement. Is that true?
LikeLike
Well it looks lovely. Hard work of course.
LikeLike
Thanks, Viv, FM and I are pleased with the result – but the pic is only a simulation of me. I’ll post a pic of the final result when I get a moment. It has a satiny black and I think really elegant finish that seems to go well with the Victorian hallway.
LikeLike
Now-a-days sanding machines have good dust extraction qualities but…the nails or staples are still the main enemy. It rips the garnet paper. I did a few floors in my halcyon restoration days. We had a Swedish (oops) product Synteco or Sintyco. It was a two pack epoxy system. It stank the hell out of the house but gave the applier a lovely buzz. It was hard wearing and dried quickly.
Helvi is right, I used to be manic when punching in the nails. Not an easy task either into old well aged hardwood bearers and joists.
LikeLike
Go, GO, the floor sanders said, we haven’t got all day to stand here, it’s you and your bro here who are making the dough out of this… Then they all laughed heartily…I was sweating in the rubbishy back yard, tidying and planting… there was a pretty bad smell coming from under the house, I found one of those old-fashioned school cases full of rotting sausages…I fainted…promptly
LikeLike
Brilliant clarification, helvi. Much appreciated where exactly you were. Leading to ‘Out cold’. Suitcases! Of sausages! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
LikeLike
Mike, we used to buy houses in Balmain, do them up in a fashion and sell them for a good profit…those were the days, once I only swept the front veranda, and I was offered more….
Anyhow, there was this one house in Rozelle, we pulled out the carpets and got the floor-sanders in…too many nails, they said…Gez started bashing them in…
‘He really goes for those nails’ , said one of them to my brother in law….it has become a family joke…
LikeLike
I could cope with the nails, H. But the staples were a real bugger. Some were rusty and broke up leaving hard to remove bits and others refused to come out short of serious gouge and patch work. For some reason I can imagine a Dutchman being as hard as nails đŸ™‚
LikeLike
I’m sorry to have responded so late. I laughed my guts out!!!
I remember as a young newlywed, visiting another couple. they had renovated a beautiful art deco house in Sydney. He did all of the floor sanding himself (which he had never done before). For some reason he started near the front door. It looked like some sort of agricultural scene, with deep furrows down to the tongue and groove. He had perfected it by the time he got to the spare room, which looked OK. Mental note: NEVER SAND A FLOOR YOURSELF!!!
LikeLike
Hi Big. The front hallway is only 2-3 square metres. It took me two days to prepare the bloody thing, then I had to paint it in two sections (left and right) to maintain a nice flowing wet edge right along each board – can’t paint the bit you need to stand on when you do this. We have a pretty big area out the back – the modern part of the house with black but hardwood that needs re-surfacing. I have a wonderful and skilled chap (in his seventies now) who will be doing that job far far better than I could ever do it. Tough one too because we have a bit of cupping of the wider boards.
I avoided the agricultural gouged look by using piss-weak tools which is why it took me so long đŸ™‚
LikeLike
I did sand a cypress hallway and study, about 15 square meters in total, with a Bosch random sander. Cyprus is very soft, and doesn’t need much taken off it (as you have probably realised).
I think the purpose of Black Japon (as it was called) was as a timber preservative. It is essentially some sort of bitumen suspended in solvent. It was done as a border to treat the ends of the boards, which, didn’t run under the frames, because the floors were cut in, after the house was built, rather than as a ‘membrane’, which runs under the wall frames, as they do now.
Good work young fella!
LikeLike
Stay away from floor sandin’ if it’s the last thing you do, excellent advice
LikeLike
Thanks, Hungy. Its a total shit of a job. Worst is that the dust gets everywhere and the cleanup is as bad as the job. I put down the third coat of Japan Black estapol this morning. Thankfully, it’s not quite as hot here as in your neck of the woods, but the stuff is going off pretty quickly. Can’t really walk on it for three days; fully cured in a week. How terribly olde worlde ! Stay cool and wet ! Regards.
LikeLike
Thanks Boss, I’ve actually applied for a job transfer to Hell, apparently its cooler there and on Friday night you get peppered steak for tea. đŸ™‚
LikeLike
Speaking personally, I suspect I’d know more people there than in the other place !
LikeLike
Did one room myself once came up a treat, pity I couldn’t hear for a month afterwards and we’re still finding dust in nooks we never ever thought of.
Laughed a lot with this one, Emm.
LikeLike
Is JB estapol oil or water based, Mike?
LikeLike
It’s oil-based hph. And you have to remove everything down to the wood before you use it. The truth is that it’s a dark brown really, and the first coat over cypress pine makes it look a bit like old oak, second coat may be enough but you then have to put a clear gloss or satin clear over the top to cope with wear. So it’s a three coat process. It takes maybe 12 hours to dry enough to re coat and heavy traffic areas need three days drying (less, I guess under the ridiculous temperatures at present, but I personally wouldn’t do it over 30 or so degrees just in case). Cures fully in 7 days.
In older times -say 1920s when it was really fashionable to paint a only border as a frame and carpet the middle of the room, but one was also obliged to French Polish the Japan Black to protect it from wear and tear. The older trad type isn’t manufactured anymore because French polishing is super expensive and a specialised art.
Feast and Watson make a good product and it looks good in our front hallway. I’ll post a pic when I get some time.
LikeLike
I’ve done it before, Mike, as you are doing it now, in SUMMER! I was then much younger and stronger to take the punishment. Anyway it’s a good exercise… leg, arm, stomach-muscles getting hard. I did the floor sanding, applied three coats AND fine-sanding by hand between TWO coats. Heh heh It took me a couple of weeks to recover after I finished. Oh yes I used ‘oil-based.’ Two years ago I used ‘water-based’ for a small area and the result was excellent. Less labour, much faster and no fumes at all. Go for the ‘water base’ next time. If there is going to be a next time at all. đŸ™‚
LikeLike