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Story by Neville Cole
Actually I’ve started probably a dozen blogs; but I’m hopeful this latest one might actually have some kind of payoff. It’s been a long, lean road so far.
Many years ago I convinced my company that I should go to a social media conference in Las Vegas and learn everything there is to know about blogging. My company still considers the word blog a four letter word but I took what I did learn and got to work on my own projects.
My first blog post “Oyster call Oystralia home” was probably my most successful effort to date. Somehow this fellow in Australia name Therese Trowseroff (or some such thing) miraculously discovered it the day of posting and invited me to be the North American Correspondent for something called The Window Dressers and Pig’s Arms. That fellow has quite an imagination. Wow. I thought, one post and the world is watching. This will be a piece of cake.
I sat at home and puzzled over one of the tips I learned in Las Vegas. Write what you know. I know, I thought I could write an advice column! I give brilliant advice. I created a character called Aunt Mary loosely based on a cross between Dear Abby and Dame Edna Everage. Who better to spew advice to a willing world, I thought.
My first Aunt Mary post was an qualified hit. Therese – who had changed his name to Emm or some such thing – sent me an email with the header “Holy Hits Aunt Mary.” Subsequent posts, however, did create such a draw. I also started to run out of advice.
That’s when I decided I was a modern day Charles Dickens. I would post – chapter by chapter – my tales of great adventure around the world, slowly gathering fandom until, at the conclusion of my story, I could self-publish a bone fide hit! I made it about 12 chapters into From Here to Nairobi before I was hit with the aching realization that this really wasn’t much of a tale and my projected sales would probably amount to about two days work in the office.
Undaunted, I hit upon the idea of using a blog to imagine a set of fanciful characters that could someday develop into a comic book series or animation. Chimp George, Pistol Palin and Smoking Rabbit never did catch on.
Intermittently I wandered back to the internet to do research. Why was I failing so consistently to create any kind of following? Sure I picked up some “followers” along the way but the only people who ever provided any feedback at all were the fine patrons of the Window Dressers and Pig’s Arms. They did say lovely things and Mike Jones (he changed his name again, I think) was incredibly supportive and thankful for my every effort.
The experts all over the Internet told me I should be blogging about gadgets, sports and/or fashion or providing brilliantly researched posts focused on important subject people need to survive or make money, or such. Hmm…maybe one on how to create a buzz in social media would be good. But, research and entrepreneurship is not really my thing. For a start, I’ve got a full time job; one I actually quite like and one that, knock on wood, I could potentially do till almost the day I die.
That said, I can’t shake this whole blog fantasy. Recently I read a quote from Stephen King about writing. “Write with the door closed”, he says. “Edit with the door open”. Brilliant, thinks I. I can write away on a novel idea alone, then post it out to the web and edit it with the world watching.
How does that song go? I started to cry which started the whole world laughing? We’ll I started a blog my novel which started the whole world reading anything else. Maybe, the problem is the whole world is too busy blogging to read anymore.
Anyway, long post short… I’ve started another blog about something I know: where to go out for a good time in this old town of mine. I’ve called it Around Phoenix. It’s full of good advice, local knowledge and a little bad humor for spice. I end each post with the catchphrase. See You Around Phoenix. The perceptive among you will notice at tip of the hat to Anchorman. It’s better than “Stay Classy San Diego” and nearly as memorable as “Go F#ck Yourself, San Diego.”
In the About section of my new blog, I say Around Phoenix only has one rule. I will only review places I really like. For one, I think reviewers who spew lots of vitriol about how bad some place is should probably just post on Yelp. For two, if I were looking for a restaurant or bar, I’d rather know I can go to a site where I know everything they suggest is good.
I also figure people with restaurants and bars are often pretty desperate for any good review and if they like what I write they may help promote my page with a reblog. I’ve got 5 followers so far (and one of them has 21 thousand followers), so who knows? The only potential problem is…what if I have to decide between giving a good review to a place with lots of followers and my promise to only review places I like? Oh well, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I don’t have lofty goals as yet. I’m pretty much only hoping that maybe one of the places I review will offer me a free appetizer or a bottle of wine on the house or something. Hell, at this point if someone makes a comment I’ll consider that a victory.
But if this does start to pick up steam I got a lot of great ideas. I could write off my restaurant and bar bills on my taxes. I could let other people write reviews for me and just manage the content. I could set myself up for a second career as a social media expert in case my company has another round of layoffs. I can even picture an Around Phoenix app, or maybe a local TV series…and think of the franchise opportunities!
So anyway…I started a blog. It’s called Around Phoenix. Come visit if you’re looking for somewhere to go around Phoenix. God, I love that catchphrase!
Voice said:
WHAT are you wearing in That AP Photo? Also your clothes seem quite unusual.
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Venise Alstergren said:
Dear aspiring Blogger,
(This is nothing personal I assure you.) But the very fact you wish to start a Blog is an admission you wish to be noticed and admired. This is fine but once you really know who and what you are, the better your writing will become. I have never thought about becoming an official Blogger so I don’t really know what’s involved. This doesn’t stop me from handing out a bit of gratuitous advice.
Although interesting your article is too long. Especially in the Internet age where everyone is consuming as much information as they can get into themselves. You have to get in early on in an article, to grab the reader by the short and curlies. To make him or her riveted by the subject matter.
You express an admirable desire to be factual. Ooooh, I don’t know about that…Andrew Bolt, Piers Ackerman and Janet Albrechtsen have never indulged in anything remotely truthful, but look where they are on the readership slippery pole-at the top, in their own opinion. Also it might be an idea to delete the amount of times you use the word ‘I’. This is very difficult when talking about your own life. So good luck on that one.
Finally, the most successful websites tend to be written by political journalists. It might be an idea to join their club. It makes for a staccato and newsy sort of Blog/article, whatever.
Good luck with your new venture.
Venise
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Venise Alstergren said:
Why around Phoenix (USA?) Why not something Ostryalian, some thing like ‘Coldstream calling’, ‘Manangatang Mauler?’ “Around Woori Yallock?
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Voice said:
Manangatang cons: It’s a 60 hour $2000 round trip from Neville’s home.
Manangatang pros: He could review everything in a single day.
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Venise Alstergren said:
Then I would recommend ‘Around Woori Yallock.’ This would be nowhere near Neville as it’s about two hours drive from Melbourne-hidden deep in the dark and forbidding hills of the Great Dividing Range.
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Venise Alstergren said:
Don’t forget, Neville did say he already has a full time job. Perhaps a bit of distance might come in handy?
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nev cole said:
You all are fabulous by the way…I enjoy my association with you all and will try to be a more active patron.
Neville
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Big M said:
Neville, are you having a mid-life crisis, what with tattoos, and blogs? Are you going to ride a Harley, or drive a Mustang?
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nev cole said:
I didn’t pick the photo but assume if refers to baring one’s soul in a most permanent way, or just showing off. And no…I’ve made it through mid life without a tatt and no Harley. I drive a Honda.
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Big M said:
Oh, good, a conservative mid-life crisis?
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Big M said:
I’m trying to engineer a mid life crisis, but it hasn’t happened yet.
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Voice said:
I commented on a Neville blog. It was Bookaville I think – it looked very lonely and I had thought that perhaps it needed an ice-breaker comment. The thing is, I’d already written my “real” comments over here. And the ice-breaker concept failed.
You obviously have some writing talent but I suppose it’s unrealistic to expect people to look for you, apart from family, friends and acquaintances. Why not enter some of your stories, such as Nairobi, in some kind of writing competition or writer’s forum – repackaging to meet whatever the rules might be. Same applies to the Chilean miner piece (OK, that might be too dated now but you could submit something topical), Aussie Moore …
It’s easy to get comments on a blog – there are some obvious tips and tricks. But that’s something totally different again.
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nev cole said:
Very true…I am fully aware that the blogger’s dream of internet fame is unrealistic…especially when writing things that nobody really “has” to read. I guess that was part of my joke. I am aware my plan is flawed yet I keep putting things out there. We live in an unusual time when all of our most intimate thoughts and daily experiences can potentially be exposed to the globe with one click. The irony is…for the most part no one is paying attention – unless we do something awful.
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nev cole said:
My girlfriend constantly gives me the competition advice, by the way. I’m not sure that’s truly the kind of recognition I seek. Not so much that I am driven to go searching for it, anyway. In the end, my true gratification will be to write something I really like. I am my own worst critic and before long everything I put out there is soon underwhelming. I had a moment of panic after I sent this in that I would come off as deperately seeking attention…that’s not it. To me, this is about facing up to the fact that the fame you sought as a youngster is not really what it’s about…it’s about getting someone to give you a free bottle of wine with dinner, apparently.
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Voice said:
Oh, I wasn’t suggesting the competition for the sake of winning (as good as that would be because more people would then read you) or even because it’s a competition. More as a forum where things you’ve written would be easily available to appreciative people. Along the lines of Muhammad going to the mountain.
P.S.
Fame delivers not just the wine but the dinner also!
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nev cole said:
Voice, can’t seem to find the reply button to your post…but this does make sense and I hadn’t thought about it. I guess I really should have looked at some of those competitions to see how they worked and maybe I would have thought of the muhammad going to the mountain idea. thanks,
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Nev said:
Well put me down as a Father O’Day fan as well. I want to finish up FHTN one day…but as Voice noted I need to go back and get a love interest in there…
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Hung One On said:
Nev, I’ll let you call me Sandy… 🙂
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nev cole said:
Thanks Sandy…and my good friends call me Booka, by the way. Or just Book. (hence the original Neville blog: bookaville)
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Voice said:
I’m flattered you remember that I commented but I think you’ve got the actual comment mixed up with someone else’s, Nev. That’s practically the direct opposite of what I said.
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nev cole said:
Voice, I was being a little flippant. At the early hour here when I say Hung’s comment I thought it was the only comment on here. I know you didn’t mean love interest…although in my defense, I believe you did bring up King Solomon’s Mines as a reference. My point was that my original goal was to create a kind of comic adventure…and I called it From Here to Nairobi with the romantic melodrama of From Here to Eternity in mind. Somewhere along the way, that vision was lost. A grand re-write is planned as soon as I carve out some time…
Neville
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vivienne29 said:
Phoenix – right sounds good except the people I know who went or plan to go to the USA tend to go to California and then all the way over to New York. Or they go to a great university town but have no time to do anything other than attend symposiums and give speeches on their research. One of those symposiums was in Salt Lake City. They had two spare days and drove around in a huge hire car looking at rocky mountains and national parks. But, if Phoenix crops up I’ll put them on to your Blog. So thanks Nev.
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nev cole said:
When I first moved to Phoenix I hated it. It wasn’t where I wanted to end up at all. But I did get a good job here and over the past (wow, nearly 30 years on and off) myself and the town have matured. I’m not sure it’s worth coming all the way from Australia to see – in fact, I could name probably a dozen other places I’d go first – although in winter that number might drop to maybe 3 other places. Still, I used to have to work in SLC and Phoenix is much better than that place – even in terms of sightseeing.
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Hung One On said:
We built this city dum dum dum
We built this city on pot and coke
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sandshoe said:
I would be a lot happier (I know) if we had a high speed internet (why’s that ask the locals) to accomplish loading photos and reading blogs and reading blogs and loading photos (did I say commenting too).
Neville, a blog called ‘Around Phoenix’ suggests a happy life in Phoenix and a busy one that ought to escalate into a deluge of invitations to go here and there if it works. May your restaurants and shows be as many as you can eat out at with fine purpose. Thank you again for an entertaining read.
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algernon1 said:
I looked for a blog called Around Phoenix but couldn’t find it.
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nev cole said:
I didn’t want the post to seem like a blatant commercial for a blog in it’s very elementary stages – but is really about the fleeting nature of dreaming (and totally stream-of-conciousness, by the way). But, in case you are interested… http://aroundtownphx.com/
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sandshoe said:
Of course we’re interested.
Does ‘Edit with the world watching’ hold good.
Here I go. Never thought I’d see this day. As follows.
I see you are writing with a different intent and in a different style. Go back to the drawing board and read the pieces over carefully thinking of meaning. As a reader. They need some zany (easy) editing to communicate your intent to write positive content. As an example only as follows: throw in a scrap of hard core information at the beginning eg we went to…and then ‘waffle’ a little (eg what you were wearing/what your girlfriend did or said or was wearing) and throw in another scrap of hardcore information eg sushi are in season/the fish are rolled etc.
You are a great writer, Neville and the material as far as making a read to get around Phoenix on lacks your brilliance.
There I went.
I spent a lot of years editing community newspapers which is really my genre. Not to say I’m right. I’m courageous though when I think it’s needed. Your material needs some slash, burn and some piquant sauce. Not so it’s like everybody else’s. So it’s like yours.
Cheers, Neville
Christina.
ps I watched the movie The Quartet and the special features were a great assistance thinking about writing…Dustin Hoffman kept repeating to them all and all of them great actors “Stop acting. Be yourself.” It’s become my mantra.
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Voice said:
Or rethink the genre entirely. These days every man and his dog does restaurant reviews, even if only on those review sites where every man and his dog can contribute.
Here is a site that does it good IMO. I could analyse why but so can you.
http://www.notquitenigella.com/
I’ve only read your Hiro Sushi review. It shows you have a good sense of humour but I wouldn’t save it for the last line. Because people might not get there. People need a hook to keep them interested. The second paragraph would be the logical place in this article and far more effective.
Not Quite Nigella (NQN) comes across as someone infatuated with food and cooking who has been thinking seriously and in depth about it for a long time and has developed a certain amount of expertise. You come across as someone who eats out a lot, knows what they like, and probably has developed a certain amount of discernment – but hasn’t really thought much about it. If there’s more to it than that you have to show it.
You have to offer more from the food point of view than listing the main ingredients in a dish and saying what dishes you like. If there’s an online menu chances are it already provides that list, and as for what you find good – you first have to give people a reason to care. Not that I don’t care about your opinion. But re-read my first paragraph.
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sandshoe said:
Voice, I have to suppose you did your research regards Phoenix for foodies and theatre goers. Nev is not every man and his dog but, anywhere. He’s Neville.
There’s a market where there are sellers and buyers*
*sandshoe et al
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helvityni said:
One way to get your blog flourishing is to allow a couple aggressive trolls to stay, before you know you have thousand comments up. Sadly the day after the reliable base commenters have gone…no posts, very peaceful. I call those trolls Blog-Busters.
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Hung One On said:
Who you gonna call? … 🙂
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gerard oosterman said:
A blog is like an entry in the phone book. One waits for a call. People end up thanking someone for having had a look at their blog, they return the same message. How many followers have you got? (some ask while walking to school) “I have got 129 followers.” “She is a bitch and lying, she only got 9 followers, I looked over her shoulder”.
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Hung One On said:
At least you can wipe your arse with a phone book Gerard, old campers saying.
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gerard oosterman said:
Or, as a really desperate measure, cheques chits while hovering above a French public loo. Where is the soap, where is the soap and water?
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Venise Alstergren said:
Hehehehe
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Big M said:
The internet has replaced the phone book now, do you wipe your arse on the internet?
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sandshoe said:
I wouldn’t risk it. You might get a virus.
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helvityni said:
I like this one, it’s the honesty that grabs me, many bloggers try too hard, they are too pompous, showing off their superior knowledge, vulnerability is always attractive as is truthfulness and humour.
I also like Stephen King’s advise about writing behind closed doors and leaving them open when editing.
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Hung One On said:
Well H, I would be lying if I didn’t say that honesty is my greatest strength.
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sandshoe said:
That’s my observation but I reckon you might lie if you had to if your pants were on fire.
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Hung One On said:
Belly laugh
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Hung One On said:
Still laughing shoe, great reply
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sandshoe said:
Now I am. Getting a good laugh. Thanks Hung.
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Hung One On said:
I enjoyed reading From Here to Nairobi Neville. I blog now as well, don’t know why really, something to do with spare time management. I don’t read much any more and when I write anything I like to keep it to around 1000 words or less, concentration span I suppose.
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
I stuck with your comment right up to “span” what happened after that ?
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Hung One On said:
To quote Arthur “I forgot…”
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