Story by Hung One On
Geeps with all the excitement going on someone asked where exactly is Missen?
Missen is a planet found in the galaxy that we call Andromeda. As part of my space adventure, I played in the one day cricket final on Flong at the Foval with Big M. This was important to Gordon as he needed to prove that there was a relationship between one day cricket scores and the average number of beans in a 440 gram can of Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce. Hey, you think space and the universe is complicated, well think again.
Big M has become part of my team on the Unnameable II space ship which is currently hiding on the dark side of the moon so not to upset NASA.
After getting the call from God, Big M went back to Missen to pick up Shoe so they could help me with my deep and revealing interview with Eddie O’Bad. However I have just learnt that Eddie has an old mate with him, Arthursin O’Dinos. Now I’m starting to worry, Gordon O’Donnell, Sandy O’Way, Barty O’Farty, Eddie O’Bad and Authursin O’Dinos, hmm. Any one else see a trend developing.?
I ring the Bish. “Hey Bish” I lead “A bit of a problem with names beginning with O”
“Don’t know what you mean Sandy anyway that call girl said she was 16” barks the Bish.
Hmm. Anyway we get to the gates of the O’Bad Ponderosa. A couple of guards approach the car.
“Hey, Sandy here, from the church of St Generic Brand, want to interview the Big O” I say but really not knowing what really to say.
“Well Father, you better turn around and keep going cause Eddie don’t wanna talk to you” says the guard, smiling and laughing to his offsider.
“Well heck guys, but I have the Duckhunt champion from Missen sitting right here that can take you apart within a few seconds” I reply not knowing really what I am saying. Hey, where’s the rum.
Just as that thought crossed my mind, Big M and Shoe were out of the car and after a few shots and screams had the guards under control.
“Big M, what are you doing?” I ask.
“Easy Sandy” he replies “This is a taping technique I learnt in NICU, tape their hands with the gun pointed to their abdomen, one false move, they pull the trigger, he he he he, etc” laughs Big M.
Gut wrenching laughter from Shoe “Me like” grins Shoe.
Geez, do you really know what you’ve been missing?
“Hey Sandy, how bout this” says Big M as the car accelerates and spins in a circle.
“Sandy, we is doing a donut” cries Big M
“Lets shoot some guards” says Shoe.
Bish, what have you done to me.
We travel into the O’Bad Ponderosa and arrive at the main door.
“Eddie, mate” I yell “Just wanna talk, okay”
Meanwhile Big M takes out seven guards and Shoe shoots out six windows on the second floor.
“Wadda ya want to talk about?” screams Eddie. Eddie’s eyes flash from side to side.
“Did ya do it?” I ask. May as well get to the point.
“Do what?” Eddie replies.
“It?” I reaffirm.
“Nah” says Edie
“What about you Artuursin?”
“I don’t remember”
“Did you go to McDonalds” I press.
“Yes” says Eddie, “I like a pickle with a meat patty”
This is unfortunately a true story, well sort of..
Hung One On said:
Nine by Six anyone?
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hph said:
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hph said:
minus ten
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sandshoe said:
Nine by Seven.
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algernon1 said:
A palindrome.
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sandshoe said:
True
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Hung One On said:
Thanks all but can I go back to being a purse carrying Nancy boy and now thanks to Joe when I retire I will be the same age as most of my residents.
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Big M said:
Did you just turn 70?
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Hung One On said:
81 I can ease off
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Hung One On said:
Sorry when I’m 81, 25 years time
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Voice said:
Cheer up. With Medicare cutbacks we probably won’t reach 81.
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algernon1 said:
Well they do say the retirement age might be raised to 70 by 2053, a comforting thought for all of us. Don’t think I’ll care that much at 95.
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Hung One On said:
Yeah, what are doing messing with Medicare. I pay the levy every year and think it’s fine
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vivienne29 said:
I thought I was the only one around here with access to a gun – a shotty.
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Hung One On said:
Do you shoot much on the farm Viv?
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vivienne29 said:
Rabbits and snakes. Pest control.
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Big M said:
Christ, I mean, Gordon, everything’s going off. What an offsider is ‘shoe….or, perhaps, it’s great being an offsider for ‘shoe!
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Hung One On said:
She’s deadly, well not really 🙂
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sandshoe said:
Big M, I’m honoured by you saying that when you do that taping thing so neatly hahaha that’s really neat hahaha. You’ve got some great skills. You’re cracking me up, Hung. Hahaha. I almost can’t tell you for laughing how much good you’ve done me Hahaha*.
*I’ve attempted a soundscape here.
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Hung One On said:
Thank you your Shoeness
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algernon1 said:
Well lookee here Hung, here’s another one of them nabbed by ICAC.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-02/icac-police-minister-mike-gallagher-dragged-in-to-scandal/5425726
Oh where does one go for a duckhunt.
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Big M said:
I believe that Roosencrantzz is up before the IPECAC next.
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algernon1 said:
That will be great won’t it, Ekka the stupid. Will be good to see him duck and dive.
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Hung One On said:
Many more to come Ace?
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Hung One On said:
Do I need another episode? 🙂
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algernon1 said:
If you’ve got one in you. Could turn into a weekly serial the way things are going.
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Big M said:
Yes, Algy, Hung’s got a good head for radio.
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algernon1 said:
Too true Big, He certainly could be the face
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sandshoe said:
Haha
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algernon1 said:
Well there are 69 of them tories in the lower house, I think we’re up to 6 or 7. Plenty more to come I think. Word is someone within the Liberal part leaked the letter to the press about the wine. Someone father I understand.
Oh and the irony is that the Liberal party slush fund to unseat Thomson in Dobell was more than Thompson ripped of the union. And the current member for Dobell looks like they need to appear before ICAC.
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Hung One On said:
But Algernon, the Liberals are bunch of honest fun loving guys, surely they wouldn’t do anything wrong?
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algernon1 said:
No of course not Hung, Butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths. All sweet and innocent.
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Big M said:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-01/former-newcastle-mp-gives-explosive-evidence-to-icac/5424494
This was pure bastardry!
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Hung One On said:
That’s shocking
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sandshoe said:
Sure is. I hope they don’t stop along this pathway as they do when they try serial killers sometimes and say ‘O I reckon that’s enough’. The serial killer here is corruption for the love of money eh. How sad this is. I wonder how much of this was known by journalists working around the traps there. 😦
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