By Gerard Oosterman
” Troubles will never leave you alone, Gerard,” “wait till you are married and have children too”, she added with gusto and succinct foresight. Mothers know best, don’t they? Nothing prepared me for IPhone and computer connectivity though. You read more and more about road rage attacks. The latest in Australia where a man with a revolver pursuing another driver up to speeds of 200km an hour. The man being pursued screaming for help as he drove on till out of petrol. I wonder if there has been IPhone rage around?
Boy did I get close to hurling my computer out of the window.All out of the blue I could receive but not send e-mails with strange messages of protocol and socket errors 10060. My outgoing POP was not right. I was advised to contact my service administrator. First I got a lady with an incomprehensible English who kept rattling on about my identity and password. I hung up and had a little rage and strangled a tulip. I tried again and this time a man with an accent I could manage to hear most of it. I was on the phone for about 45 minutes and went to my ‘account’ and changed pop and outgoing and ingoing mail while Milo was lustily farting away underneath my chair. However, that is nothing compared with the inability to get my IPhone and computer synchronised.
The sad thing was, that it was working before but I suspect Microsoft Live Mail is a very unstable entity. I gave up and made my outgoing mail to an outdoor eating place and with H had a nice Fish and Chips.
As we were eating I glanced through a Vogue magazine and noticed that the models all seem to be scowling so unhappily. Do they have IPhone troubles too? Who would want to open the door to those model sourpusses. I would phone the police or at least an ambulance. Look at the photo of the couple. She has her back to him and he looks as if he needs a bit of a Charley Chaplin or perhaps some counseling.
After lunch I went back to the computer. H had calmed me down and the fish and chips worked their magic as well. (Barramundi fillets) Amazingly, the IPhone and computer are back working as normal and as before. A triumph of a fickle and unstable world. And I did nothing except skirt with a coronary.
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
Thanks Gez, I just give everybody Mrs Ms mobile number, so she can answer all of the bloody sms thingys.
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Lovely story Gerard. I’m a fish and chip man as well, sprinkle of lemon juice, plain salt or maybe even some vinegar.
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We had some very good fish and chips. Blue Grenadier at Port Macquarie some weeks ago. Just received a speeding fine while traveling south from the fish and chips. Doing 62 in a 50Km zone. My first ever speeding fine. $109.0 and one demerit point. So ashamed now. What will the neighbours think? Seventy four and now caught being a speeder.
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Flathead is my favourite. The Cops have a hard job and I don’t wish to impede them but last time I dealt with them it was painful. “Is your name Hung One On” “Yes” “Did you exceed the speed limit as according to our speed camera” “Yes” “Would it be easier if we just fined you rather than going to court” “Yes” “Do you have anything you would like to say” “Yes, fuck off”
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…or perhaps some counselling o you’re good.
Had a quick read and need to tack off. Thanks Gez for entertainment and enchantment. x
Christina
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Hi Christina. Is all good? Had a few lows and even took a faltering step today.
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Hi Gez, most recently I have a lease for another house to live in and will be moving soon. The new property has about it a tremendous charm, garden allotment adjoining it. The back garden has privacy I’ve not been able to enjoy for a long time. When the weather gets intolerably cold I will have a functional wood fire. And there’s a nice position for my ‘new’ piano I recently bought from the Recycling Depot.
My prime physical concern is weathering this extended cold we are experiencing at the moment. Zero degrees and 1 degree lows. Your town must be truly icy.
I missed what your situation is, Gez. Seems you have been physically downed eh…
I had three falls. Standing on a kitchen bench one foot I slipped on a step of a ladder and fell on a mixer tap that bent clear sideways, good fortune given the layer of stupidity too and the tap cushioned my fall. Slipped on a friend’s shiny concrete verandah and thought I was pierced to the heart, blood everywhere, but no. I had fallen breast and chest forward onto something, dunno what, and on my knee full on for the second time as I slipped on an icy street a couple weeks before, smack on. Insufficient damage for death. Beats me a girl could be so lucky.
My doc told me a couple weeks later, that an x-ray reveals I have fragile bones that are something or other percentage not normal for my age and I ought etc… Well, between thee and me. The kerthunk on my left knee cap TWICE was substantial taking my full weight yet I am not an insubstantial being. Mistaken identity, Gez. I wonder if that was really my X-ray. The radiographer told me she thought my rib was cracked and the doc says definitely not.
I am new again…
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Gee shoe, betta break out the cotton wool. I had some similar experiences a year or too ago when I fell from the roof cleaning out gutters and then I knocked myself out weeding the front garden, spooky but true.
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Hung …and good old Gordon O’D thought when you set off to do the weeding ‘go knock yourself out’.
Now I do know what YOU mean. 😉
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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