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Simulated National Country Party Member

From the Pig’s Arms cub reporter Teddy Behr

In a stunning turdaround, the National Party of Counts has failed to replace a bombastic, bloated tomato-coloured, snaggle-toothed sexual deviant with a bombastic, bloated tomato-coloured gun deviant with sweaty under-arms, dressed by his mother.

Commentators were left wondering what this fat, bloated sunburnt brown land is coming to – and are awaiting with bated breath to see what kind of screw-up the deeply-considered alternative candidate will inject into the body politic.  Something other than sperm or lead – they hoped.