Story by Emmjay
Now I am a man, my usual theme park – apart from any ukulele gig or the Pig’s Arms is Bunnings. It used to Bunnings Ashfield where I managed to rack up two minor bumps in what must be the world’s most treacherous car parks. One time my front wheel fell into a monster pothole and rocketed the old Subaru into a brand new parked car.
Now I am an honest man (within reason), so I put a note identifying myself, my insurer and my phone number with a profuse apology. I expected to receive a phone call giving me a giant earful of abuse. Instead I got a polite SMS from a chap who had the same insurer thanking me for my honesty – and I never heard a thing about it again. I was having a size four anxiety attack because I figured this small bump was worth one or two grand worth of panel beating and painting – so, nothing serious but the insurance company didn’t even jack up my premiums.
Bunnings, granted, is a soulless but fascinating megalopolis with the important virtue of supporting charities via sometimes really suss sausages on a roll plus drink for $4 where decent people let them keep the spare dollar change.
But when I was a boy, hardware was an Aladdin’s cave experience redolent with smells, and dusty textures and the wisdom of some ancient couple – the custodians of all knowledge hardware – in Whitworth, imperial and metric sizes. And my Dad said they also had UCF (United Chinese Fine) which stood for bodgy sizes that usually fitted the job better than standard measurement bits.
East Hills Hardware was a pair of siamese shops on the wrong side of the pub – abutting domestic bliss clad in fibre. The floor was bare and well-worn wood with a fine dusty patina. One side was homewares – like kitchen gadgets of uncertain pedigree and usually faded pastel colour in boxes that could well have been made out of papyrus. It was of no interest to me.
On the other side were floor to ceiling wooden shelves with usually unlabelled cardboard boxes of every shape and size. Was Christmas every visit. One visit will suffice as illustration of the pinnacle of customer service.
I was a home bicycle mechanic – with unlimited time and curiosity about how stuff was put together, how it worked and as the Buddhists say, the conditions required for its continuing operation – the lubricants, anti-rust, hardness, durability….. and on and on.
I for got to also say … the wonderful adventure of re-assembling it – if at all possible and restoring it to operations – and considering the lessons learnt when this proved to not be a viable outcome.
Bike steering was a bit notchy. I decided to open up the headstock and examine the ball bearings in their headstock races. Aha ! Not one, but two broken 1/8th inch ball bearings from a loose set of 22.
Mike: Hi, I need some 1/8th ball bearings for my bike.
H/W man: Headstock bearings, How many ?
Mike: Two.
Man: I can give you two for nothing – but wouldn’t you want to replace them all because those were probably only the first two to break ?
Mike: How much for 22 ?
Man: 11 pence.
Mike: Great – I’ll take them.
Man (putting them in a tiny paper bag); Here’s a gob of grease (putting that in another plastic bag) try not to let it seep through the bag and get on your pants. Clean and smear the races and then the bearings will sit in their properly when you put the head races back in. Tight, but not too tight or you’ll bust some more.
Now I’m a man again, walking along Redfern Street, in the 21st Century, on my way to work and I found this…..
Mrs Proprietor was not enthusiastic about being photographed. She said that her husband was OK about that but he was out.
May the Goddess bless these fine people and their tiny emporium is the main street of Redfern.
I bought four white plastic flyscreen clips (40c) and two small fine corner sanding handled devices for those hard to get bits in door corners ($10 the pair).
sandshoe said:
The Everything Emporium in Gordonvale had sections that were like small shops with their own character with the name Everything and Son scrawled on the frontage on top of the lot …and the year of that founding, in the Drapery was women’s (sewing fabrics) one side and men’s stuff the other where my dad procured a nice pair of nice black leather and serviceable lace-up shoes year after year that no-one ever bought any of and the price remained constant year after year …because Mr Everything was stuck otherwise with the stock.
They really weren’t that bad and Dad always bought at the same time a chunk of Red Malling cheese chopped off a big round block of it with a massive knife. Yummo.
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algernon1 said:
Wonderful Emm, We still have a couple of hardware stores that aren’t large chains in our area A joy to walk through and just have the one of that you need. Bunnings has its place but not like the small shop.
We still have our own butcher, changed hands with a younger bloke now in charge. He makes his own sausages and cures his own hams, joy. We still have our local fruit shop too, but for how much longer.
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
Feel a bit guilty here, Algy. We have our own fruit shop too, but I rarely go there. When I do, trade is always light.
More efficient to buy groceries meat and fruit and veg all together at the supermarket. But we often top up at the local IGA.
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algernon1 said:
Our local fruiterer employed the younger for a while and has very good product. Supermarkets in theory should have the best fruit and veg but given they don’t know hope to store it properly it doesn’t last. He reckons its a tough gig too. Many of these smaller operations are closing up.
The quality of our butcher is a lot better than the supermarket. We rarely buy meat there. Bulk meat delivered already packaged.
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gerard oosterman said:
Yes, a good hardware store is hard to come by now. And a good butcher shop that make their own sausages. The old fashioned hardware stores sold screws or washers singly and put them in a paper bag. Bunnings sells them in such hard plastic packages, one ends up calling triple zero.
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vivienne29 said:
My village has its own butcher – Brad. He makes his own sausages. The butcher I had in town also made his own sausages – and frankfurts and wursts and hams and much more. A continental deli/butcher established by Germans (Lutz retired 10 or so years ago but trained the new owner in everything). I pop in there for frankfurts and they taste exactly the same as 40 years ago when I first came upon the shop.
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vivienne29 said:
Moderation?
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vivienne29 said:
It’s gone now, but my comment below had a note come up under it saying it was awaiting moderation. Very funny.
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vivienne29 said:
I’ve been to Bunnings a few times but only because I had no bloody choice. Our village rural supplies store is also like a hardware store. Two years ago we needed a special shifter- spanner thingy (a big one) to help get flat tyre/wheel off the ride-on. He didn’t have what we needed but took me to his own cupboard out the back. It was full of old and newish tools. He found what I needed and lent it to us. Ten minutes of searching, no charge. We do of course do as much business with them as possible. He’s also a snake catcher.
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Mark said:
I live near a small town that has two hardware stores and the nearest Bunnings is a 50 km round trip. I try my village stores first and usually get everything I want. Fabulous places even for technical morons like me.
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
Hardware shop owners are so often the salt of hecearth, are they not, mate ?
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
Geez, Hung, you wouldn’t want to have stuff delivered from Bunnings.
I’ll bet the local guys help load your car – or drop stuff of on their way home for lunch !
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Mark said:
Google tells me that it is actually 72.6 km round trip from my new top secret location to the nearest Bunnings. One has to think through the decisions one has to make.
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
One apparently does. Doesn’t one ? 😊
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Yvonne said:
It’s bliss to come across a good old fashioned hardware store. Long may they survive.
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
I totally agree.
Quite a lot more satisfactory than “It might be in aisle 32”
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