“We’ll do the novena after the dinner”; “we’re all starving”, she said. “No, not the novena to-night again” a chorus of children protested. “Ja, natuurlijk”, “of course we will”, her dad said sternly in guttural Dutch. All Dutch fathers are stern and ramrod morally straight. A novena par for course it would be, with those large and fatally catholic families. No interruptus of any coitus there. Let the little ones come, and mother will do the endless scrubbing, stove sweating, cooking, shopping and kiddie feedings! Gutturally challenged fathers are often in easy chairs and smoking Graven A’s.
The novena was popular with large catholic families. It involved something religious with the number nine and praying. Nothing voodoo though! In Annemarie’s family it soon became clear just after dinner when instead of the usual thanks-giving prayer; the whole lot sank onto their knees on the floor with crossed hands on the dining chairs in front of them. They were doing this for nine weeks and were now in the second week. I dutifully followed kneeling just behind and beside Annemarie. They were all fingering the rosary beads while praying for a good future, including for ‘own home on own block and own solid Torrens Title’.
Of course, with the mashed potatoes, carrots and onions and some minced cows, the bedding down of the food while kneeling in pious prayer was not easy and soon a few light-hearted farts were wafting around. Nothing too serious and parents smiled benevolently and lovingly at their happy off-spring, gathered on knees. Apparently, the farting was the acceptable price negotiated in return for everyone agreeing to do this nine week family Novena, ‘for a better future in Australia, for our children.’ I suspected the farting would be on regardless of any novenas. Good Dutch families that fart together stay together.
In all that what was going on I was focussed on showing due piety in my posture, eyes turned at a slant and heavenly upwards. But, and as usual, it was in direct contrast to those infernal and intruding carnal thoughts. So close and yet so far. How ironic. There she was the dreams of my youth. So lovingly on her knees, dress hiked up somewhat, lovely roseate thighs with rosary slipping through agile fingers. Oh, the irony of it all, the temptation so close and yet so far and under such dire and difficult circumstances.
With the novena having come to its last bead, we all got up and I offered to do the washing up, hoping a reciprocate move from my beloved. “No, it’s Elizabeth turn”, she quickly retorted. Roderick is waiting! So much for love reciprocating. Mother stepped in though, “no, you do it tonight”, she said sharply. With this latest set-back I decided that Mr ‘normal nose Roderick’ was more on her mind. No doubt waiting for her around the corner, practising his ramrod straight morals as I was bloody well helping her do the washing up, even dried the dishes allowing the towel at times to stray against her leg. That’s the best my thousand kilometre scooter trip was capable of achieving. Bitter rewards and pathos at its best that I would now be sleeping in her bed; perhaps with her scent on pillow case, providing her mother hadn’t changed the sheets or pillow case. Was it any better than sleeping in my lonely tent? Is this what I had been so good for?
The kids were around the table playing Monopoly, squabbling over who had the most money and who was cheating, the novena wearing thin already and materialism rearing its head. “Don’t be late”, her mother said. I could smell a kind of cinnamon odour and a rush of Annemarie’s frock bolting to the door. Insult to injury. I certainly know when to beat a retreat and after a ‘good night’ I crept to her bedroom but at least in her bed. Beggars can’t be chosers! No doubt, her dad would follow soon.
He did, “Hey Gerard, would you mind sleeping on the stretcher”, “I have a sore back and you are so much younger?”
I said goodbye next morning never to see lovely Annemarie again.


I suppose the uncomfortable cot put paid to any painful and persistent priapism as you contemplated what you had lost.
A sad tale and we all commiserate.
I wonder though, has H got similar stories of the boys that got away, or admired from afar. I’m sure if I offered a similar tale of conquest past I’d be spending the night on an uncomfortable cot too.
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Since I put my youthful pic on Pigs Arms, the old beaux that did not get a chance in the past, are now flocking to come to Australia… some are going to stay with us….interesting !
I might have to take some stretchers from a storage..?
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Waz,
Those stretchers from the past have never intruded on our King size with 100% Danish Doonas. Of course, pure doona is made from the spineless down feathers of Geeze. We all know that.
Did I ever tell you we were robbed at our previous address in The Inner West. We had money sitting around inside jars. That was not taken.
All our Danish doonas were stolen. We reported it to the police. They just smiled.
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If you wanted an authentic Dutch food pic, you could have had some Boeren Kool mixed in with the mash, or better still a nice big bowl of Hutspot, your favorite disd, fried onions, carrots, DUTCH potatoes mixed with milk and butter into a tasty ‘porridge’ and eaten with Rookworst…
You’ll have wait for the first frost, then YOU can make it !
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I enjoyed the tale too, Gez. Every young chap has a tale of misplaced optimism and this “one that got away” was clearly not very interested in the bait, let alone on the hook or in your Hoek.
Oh well, sometimes the fates are kinder than one might suspect and what could be worse than a long long tepid relationship.
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Nice story Gez… ignore David L…
Sorry Dave, but you just don’t seem to appreciate pathos; this story is redolent of it; and I’m sad to say that I can really relate to this kind of ‘just missed out’ love story; perhaps more so than any other kind… but sometimes some of those ‘fish that got away’ stories make the best memories… that kind of love was never challenged by reality; such love thus remains pure and perfect (if a little less ‘fun’); unassailable by any form of entropy, spiritual, physical or philosophical.
Perhaps a taste for pathos is acquired with age and experience…?
🙂
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You could be onto something there. I wonder if sometimes pathos shines a light a little too brightly on the past when one would prefer to live vicariously through tales of love requited?
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Yes, but sometimes those tales of love requited end up with fighting for percentages of possessions and children.Too often they become tales of woe but without pathos.
Still, you could be right, we need to lighten up.
The story moves on away from Annemarie and ventures into the excitement of contact points and timing devices of Lambretta scooters.
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Hi Asty,
I think, many can relate to love stories like these. I think you got the essence of it.
The pathos of life is not restricted to just teen experiences. What about that story on ABC ‘Just in’ News. A 92 old woman charged with murdering her 98 year old husband?
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Haven’t read that one Gez… must check it out; he must have been a real old bugger! But at that age, where’s the point? Don’t tell me she wanted him out of the way for a younger man…?
😉
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I really didn’t like this Gez 😦 I was really hoping you would get it off, or something. I hope we hear more, and it’s cheerful. 😦
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