I think I better go to the pub. That’s where Father O’Way is and that’s how I, Bishop Bishop, come into the story. If you don’t know the story about me then look through the archives under the Church of St. Generic Brand or something like that. I’m really famous, or so I think.

So anyway I digress, which is the only thing that I’m good at. I’m called the Bish for some reason that escapes me but I’ll drop into the Window Dressers Arms Pig and Whistle. Boy Big M, does that increase the word count or wot.

I ask some questions “Where is Father O’Way? Why am I doing this? Is Valium really that bad? Can I have a pint of best with a whiskey chaser? So many questions so little time.”

Merv pours a beer and some whiskey for me but he doesn’t speak so he doesn’t have to include inverted commas and the he says she said bit in the next part of this dialogue. Thank Gordon for spelling correctors. It also cuts down on paragraphs.

Sister’s Yvonne and Barbara levitated onto their stools. “Pink drinks all round ” said Sister Yvonne who hadn’t learn the lesson from the above paragraph where it’s better not to say much so there’s a lot less typing. Get the picture.

“Is your stool satisfactory Sister Barbara?”

“Yes, more than satisfactory I would say Sister Yvonne” helping get the word count up.

Meanwhile Algernon and Big M sat on their usual stools with their shotguns loaded just in case a cat happened to come through the door. One can only hope.

I says to Merv “You look rah,rah,rah, um stuffed” ignoring my own advice on inverted commas.

Didn’t you read Meet Mervette thinks Merv, oh good boy, he knows the rules.

Where’s Sandy I think.

Well he can go home now seeing I’m back behind the bar thinks Merv.

Gee, isn’t it good when you think things through. Gordon will be pleased.

Merv thinks I need another beer and whiskey chaser. This is getting better by the minute.