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Lance - two stone lighter but still doing well

Lance – two stone lighter but still doing well

Yeah, like okay, the Bish never gives up. Managed to sneak out of the Long Room at Lords and hike a cab to Heathrow when the Bish rings “Sandy”, God I hate it when he calls me that, it means trouble and somehow I seem to be headed towards trouble at every call. “Hop a plane to Paris, Kadell Ovens is in trouble in the Tour de France, see what’s up?” ”But Bish cycling is more boring than cricket” “Just do it Sandy, anyway at the Heads of Church meeting the other night I ran into some old friends of yours, Pastor Sauce, his wife Penny and a friend Pam Esan” “Basil” I reply “How is the old tart?” “He’s good “says the Bish “He sends his best”. Now there’s a dish I wouldn’t mind, Basil Sauce, Penny and Pam Esan, hmmm, anyhow I digest, oops I mean digress, so it’s off to “gay Paree”.

Kadell agrees to meet at a café after I find out some Spaniard bloke has just won. “Well Kadell, mate, what happened?” “Well Father, this is off the record isn’t it?” “Of course my son, a priest never lies” Cough, cough, choke, choke, “Father are you alright?” “Yes my son, go ahead, your secret is safe with me” “It’s the view father, I mean when you get out in front all you see is the road” I think to myself, God invented Ducati’s to stop having to peddle in the first place for crying out loud, this joker gets a million bucks a year to ride through picturesque country side and he’s complaining about the view. “Go on” I say, “Well” Kadell stutters “I like cycling because I’m around other men” “Yes, yes, male bonding” “No Father, I mean I like sporty men, with great figures and most of all, all that rubber, in the pack I get a great view, a satisfying view of the behinds, I mean it’s glorious”

So now when you pass a group of cyclists, think of the greyhounds however instead of chasing a bunny, all those guys in the pack are actually chasing bummies.