• The Pig’s Arms
  • About
  • The Dump

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

~ The Home Pub of the Famous Pink Drinks and Trotter's Ale

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

Monthly Archives: January 2010

Craven A and spittle.

05 Tuesday Jan 2010

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman, The Public Bar

≈ 10 Comments

The cleaning at Roger’s Chains factory lasted just a few weeks, by which time I had earned some money which I gave towards the family for saving better accommodation.  I kept some which I put in a tin. My regular weekly spending was for a small packet of Graven A filter cigarettes, and the occasional orange drink called Fanta.  An apple pie, just once a week was a special treat.

My next job, without even losing one day was at another engineering factory, just a few streets behind the old job. It was run and owned by a man with just one leg. I seemed to be destined to meet creatures with missing limbs! Why was that so? Was life so fraught with accidents or danger here in Australia, that, people, dogs and cars would so casually go without important parts? The owner’s other leg was made of something artificial, perhaps wood, that used to creak when he slowly walked around the factory floor.  Did the leg’s hinges need lubricating?

His house was just in front of the factory. I sometimes used to see the wife.  She was very prim and proper and polite; contend to mind the petunias in the front garden, and keeping well away from the factory. The factory owner always had a cigarette hanging from his mouth which made the (bad)word fucking even more sinister sounding. The F seemed to go on forever, hissing with spittle as a lubricant. He did obey the rule though of never saying that in front of his wife.

The job of cleaning the factory floor was sometimes relieved by learning to work on machinery, a capstan lathe and milling machines, making nuts or bolts, putting threads on them, in fact, a bit of skill creeping into my daily routine. In the meantime I had saved for an old bicycle and saved bus money by travelling to and from work by bike.

The job was not what I intended to do when still back in Holland. I had some vague idea of studying to become an aircraft engineer. Sweeping a factory and buying lunches for factory workers was not all that inspiring, nor was the blatant homosexual capers that used to be played out very edifying. The non-stop pretend buggering was endemic, and the tolerance towards it staggering. Here was a really curious bit of factory culture. Most of the adult workers were married, had families or if not married, spoke about their girlfriends. Yet, it was almost as if all that homosexual pretend buggering was proof of being hetero sexual. To not partake in it, as I refused to do, was considered to be sissy. The social gatherings at that time showed similar traits. To be with women at a party was seen as having ‘poofter’ inclinations. You would not want to be seen with the opposite sex as this was being ‘soft’ and not masculine. Perhaps it had again something to do with the acute shortage of women during those penal times some decades before, and many just had to do with what was available and that was each other, and of the same sex. Old habits die hard. Another habit was to stick fingers up an unexpected worker’s bum through overalls or apron.  It was called ‘dating’.

Bucket Pissing and Apple Pies.

04 Monday Jan 2010

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman, The Public Bar

≈ 8 Comments

Anyway, as stated, mum took things in her own hand and despite having hardly any English took it upon her to salvage family. She dragged me and Frank around an employment agency and immediately found work. My first wage was about 4pounds and 5 shillings, but with overtime this could easily become 6 pounds. Frank, with his difficult behaviour and bouts of anger would go through many jobs, each time it seemed as if jobs were available almost everywhere one applied. My dad also finally got out of bed and after a few jobs in blue overalls managed to get a technical job that he knew something about. Telephone equipment was his expertise and he seemed happy in that, it offered some security.

The old house was noisy to the extent that in the mornings the daughters of the Van Dijks of which there were four, took turns pissing loudly in a bucket which was just on the other side of a rather flimsy partition, knocked together by Mr V.Dijk to give our quarters some sort of privacy. The privacy was a bit three legged as well, but we took great joy in the sound of their bucket noises and used to holler out Dutch coarse words, followed with great laughter and mirth making. It was a bit of relief from the hardship!

Three legged dog

My introduction to work was about at the time when dad was in the middle of his six weeks bedded down with a melancholy and deep depression. The pissing daughters next to the flimsy partition, the rats and three legged dog and car, took its toll. My first job was cleaning the floor of “Roger’s Chains”, which was a big metal shed factory with many men working machinery making links of chains, large and small. The part that I liked most was the ordering of the factory workers lunches. Meat pies, apple pies and soft drinks. I was amazed how some of them would just eat only half and throw the rest out, on the floor. I was almost tempted to eat those remnants, but did not for fear of getting infected with something horrible. The main problem was understanding the Australian accent or slang. I did notice one word that kept cropping up and seemed to be repeated in almost every third or fourth word. I decided to ask the Van Dijks. What is this fukking or fucgling or fouging, I asked them?  Now, you would have thought that their Dutch background would have immediately come to the rescue and explain the meaning of that word. No word in Dutch was something to be ashamed off. Sure, there are coarse words; even so, they are still just words. Instead, their assimilation to Australia and it’s culture was so successful that they immediately went into that silly world of sniggering and evasively trying to convey that there was something absolutely terrible going on with that word, without giving the requested explanation.

They finally told me that the word was bad and that it was alright for men to talk like that but never ever in front of a woman, how curious. Not using certain words in front of a woman? What was going on here? The next bit of salient advice from the Van Dijks was to always say, beggepayrden. If you don’t understand something, just say; beggepayrden. When passing someone on the bus, peggepayrden again. Well, beggepayrden we all did. I beg your pardon!

For Dad – Susan Merrell

04 Monday Jan 2010

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Susan Merrell

≈ 20 Comments

Royston Lloyd RIP

It wasn’t the ‘Happy New Year’ we’d anticipated when my Father passed away this new year’s eve just gone.  A new decade to be lived without him is hard to picture – he’s always been there.

“Go and ask your father,” my mother would say when I was young and my childish demands had overwhelmed her.  I didn’t need to – he’d say yes.  He always did.  My Dad was a bit of a pushover – soft hearted really.

He was also the voice of reason.  When emotions were running high in our highly-strung family and two of us were at loggerheads, it was always Dad who negotiated the peace – his heart in the right place.

But his heart was also a problem.  Although celebrating his 80th birthday last November, he suffered his first major heart attack when he was just 44 years old.  In the ensuing years his health problems became so widespread and profound that you’d be forgiven for thinking that his ailments defined him – But they never did.

For as well as being kind hearted, my father was also a funny and clever man – and it shone through.  Dad’s quirky sense of humour, and even quirkier turn of phrase never left him – even in the worse of times.

Just before Christmas, for example, after Dad had been hospitalised and when he was in some considerable pain and discomfort he still managed to utter a classic ‘Dad-ism’.

When my sister, Mary, said something with which he disagreed he turned to me, shook his head and said:

“When you have a clutch of children, you always get one daft one.”

But my all time favourite ‘Dad-ism’ was usually born of his frustration with one of us children.

“If I knew then what I know now,” he would say, “I would have just bred kittens.”

‘Dad-isms’ have become rich pickings for my journalistic writings, belatedly giving Dad a wider audience for his witticisms. He’d like that.

But then Dad was always good with words.  For as long as I can remember, he was an avid devotee of the cryptic crossword.  He passed that on to me.  But he was always the master.  Being no slouch myself, I am still no more than the master’s apprentice.  It was always me who’d need to ring him for the answers whenever I was stuck on a clue.  He’d have it.  You could rely on it.  I remain in awe of his intellect.

Dad took pride in many things.  He was particularly proud of his garden and the sheer size of his vegetables.  Home-grown vegetables were a necessary feature of Lloyd Christmas lunches.

And Christmas was a particularly busy time for Dad, especially when I was young.  He spent many a sleepless Christmas Eve constructing Christmas presents.  With four children and never enough money to go around, the deficit had to be made up by ingenuity. And ingenious he was.  There were swimming pools, bikes and doll’s houses all constructed or overhauled at the last minute so as not to spoil the Christmas morning surprise.  Which brings us back, once again, to his kind heart.

Dad sacrificed many of his own opportunities for the well-being of his family – and he did so happily.  He was proud of us.

It is why the proud, funny, clever, kind-hearted man that was Royston Lloyd will live on in my heart…

And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion

Dead mean naked they shall be one

With the man in the wind and the west moon;

When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,

They shall have stars at elbow and foot;

Though they go mad they shall be sane,

Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;

Though lovers be lost love shall not;

And death shall have no dominion.

Dylan Thomas

God speed, Dad. Rest in Peace.

Marulan

03 Sunday Jan 2010

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Travels

≈ 24 Comments

Manne's trusty Nokia does it again !

The trip down the Hume from Sydney and across on the Federal Highway to Canberra was uneventful except that the traffic was doing it’s best to play speedway aces in the pouring rain.  The scariest thing was a young woman with two kids in a clapped out old Barina tailgating other cars in the pouring rain.  I was thinking of calling the cops on the mobile and getting the highway patrol to pull her up for her own safety.  But she didn’t look like the kind of person likely to respond well to advice.  And there are always the Darwin Awards to consider….

Anyway, we stopped at Goulburn Maccas on the way and the crowd on Jan 2 was eight deep.  The carpark was almost overflowing.  We gave it a miss and fell back on the Express kebab shop where the trade was brisk but not ridiculous and the service was friendly and civil.  But the food was, well, edible.

We met up with our mates and really enjoyed the Paris Exhibition at the National Gallery.  Do book an earlybird session.  You pay an extra ten bucks and gain entry at 9:00 – an hour before the hoi polloi which gives you a fighting chance at a really good squizz without the three mile queue.  Book it through the web if you like.  We had breakfast before the Sunday early session and we complained about the crappy food break situation going from Sydney to Canberra on the highway.  One of the crew told us to stop at Marulan on the way back.  There’s a huge roadhouse there.  We did, and we didn’t.  We decided to pull off the highway at Marulan and survey the town (avoiding yet another Hume monster roadhouse).

And this is what we found.  A three generation tea place – Nan, Mum and preschool daughter, serving soup, light lunch and tea.  No crowds, hearty soup and toasty bread, reasonable prices and personal service.  Delightful stop.  Try it.

This is what a bypass does to a little town.

The last servo before the monster roadhouse....out the back of the truck weigh station.

Foodge 7 – Would you like ice with that ?

03 Sunday Jan 2010

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Foodge Private Dick

≈ 13 Comments

I was enjoying the deeply respectful space most (well, all really) drivers allow a huge geometrician, wearing his colours and riding  a Fat Bob and I was kidding myself that having a private dick on the pillion was adding a little more cachet.  But it didn’t take long for the reverie to evaporate and the growing concern over the purpose of the visit to Highbury to fill the small screen of my imagination.

The Harlet ate the few miles between Shorty Chang’s and the Angles centre.  She was running sweetly despite being a travelling typographical error.  Pi piloted the beast up to the wrought iron gates and gave the security cameras a good look at us.  Their approval was given with a buzz and a click and the gate opened up sufficiently to allow us passage.

I was admiring the renovations the Angles had done since the unfortunate bombing incident.  Their long-running turf dispute with the neo-Cartesian Co-ordinates had spilled over from spiteful exchanges of letters in “Geometry Today” into something more sinistra.  It was generally agreed that taking a hard line from A to B was plane and simple and that nothing was to be gained by insisting that Reinmann was superficial.

The bombing, wrecked the Highbury façade, but there was no reported casualty.  The word at the Pig’s Arms was that this was more a reflection on the quality of reporting than an accurate picture of the human collateral damage.  According to the press the dispute was a bit over the top and despite Rouge making non-committal denials on TV, it was clear to everyone that the police had more than an academic interest in the feud.

We got off Pi’s machine and since Pi filled the western hemisphere, I took the hint and headed east through the next airlock into the Highbury anteroom.  It was surprisingly elegant.  The walls were wood panelled and reminded me of a spartan gentleman’s study.  It was reminiscent of an academic institution.  The clue that I picked up could well have been the shelves of books.  There was a blackboard filled with a complex proof.  On second look, it appeared to be a complex proof written in Cyrillic script.

I was about to take a seat and do a quick scan of my pockets for the remaining aspirin, but Pi’s look suggested that the Angle’s boss was waiting and that the meltdown behind my eyelids was going to have to wait.  He motioned me to knock and to go through the heavy door to the left.  I did.  “Da” was the reply.  I opened the door and entered.

An ordinary person could have been forgiven for imagining that he was confronting a man who looked a lot like Trotsky.  But I’m a private dick and we’re trained to spot the difference between the genuine article and the fake.  And this was the real deal.  The eye patch.  The steel-rimmed monocle.  The Einstein hairdo.  The icepick letter opener on his desk.

There was a square hippo skin rug next to the credenza.  Next to that were two other smaller pieces of preserved pachyderm skin.  I could see that the square of the hippopotamus   was roughly equal to the sum of the squares of the other two hides.

Trotsky was obviously very pleased by my situational appraisal.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the discovery was not so novel.

I was wondering how much more of this weirdness I could beria, when the phone on Trotsky’s desk rang.

A New Opener for the New Year’s Day Test

01 Friday Jan 2010

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in The Sports Bar

≈ 16 Comments

In a desperate attempt to make the New Year's Day Test interesting, Australian selectors have chosen to open with an old bat and even older balls

Digital insertion by Warrigal

In an attempt to add some length to the current series against Pakistan, selectors have reluctantly chosen to bring back a little Aussie battler to open the streaking from the Randwick end.  “We haven’t seen so many creases since he lobbed one down and narrowly missed his foot in the ‘Australian Prime Minister versus hapless Indian school children series in Bangalore in 2004” commented Pakistan captain Whatta Whacker.

Security was tight as a pair of budgie smugglers and following recent aviation incidents, players this year will be asked to take to the field without any regional support – and must remain in their seats for the last hour of the session.  How this is expected to help is yet to be decided.

Newer posts →

Patrons Posts

  • Back Bacon … Sorry, Bacon is Back May 16, 2026
  • Elise Legrow Sings Chuck Berry’s You Never Can Tell May 16, 2026
  • The Question-Crafting Compass November 15, 2025
  • The Dreaming Machine November 10, 2025
  • Reflections on Intelligence — Human and Artificial October 26, 2025
  • Ikigai III May 17, 2025
  • Ikugai May 9, 2025
  • Coalition to Rebate All the Daylight Saved April 1, 2025
  • Out of the Mouths of Superheroes March 15, 2025

We've been hit...

  • 807,250 times

Blogroll

  • atomou the Greek philosopher and the ancient Greek stage
  • Crikey
  • Gerard & Helvi Oosterman
  • Hello World Walk along with Me
  • Hungs World
  • Lehan Winifred Ramsay
  • Neville Cole
  • Politics 101
  • Sandshoe
  • the political sword

We've been hit...

  • 807,250 times

Patrons Posts

  • Back Bacon … Sorry, Bacon is Back May 16, 2026
  • Elise Legrow Sings Chuck Berry’s You Never Can Tell May 16, 2026
  • The Question-Crafting Compass November 15, 2025
  • The Dreaming Machine November 10, 2025
  • Reflections on Intelligence — Human and Artificial October 26, 2025
  • Ikigai III May 17, 2025
  • Ikugai May 9, 2025
  • Coalition to Rebate All the Daylight Saved April 1, 2025
  • Out of the Mouths of Superheroes March 15, 2025

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 374 other subscribers

Rooms athe Pigs Arms

The Old Stuff

  • RSS - Posts
  • RSS - Comments

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 374 other subscribers

Archives

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle
    • Join 280 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar

Loading Comments...