Warrigal does Joe at the numbers game …
A bloke called Diogenes emerged from Greece! Hey, I just know, lately my nocturnal operations provided quality? Really? Study the universe, virtual wisdom, xenophobic yawn, zark!
Hey! Shit man. What? An alpha or betic or maybe even diabetic dream? Hmm, what’s going on ? Must be time to go back out into space. Jules, you know, the S.S. Julian II, my spaceship, is hiding on the dark side of the moon. Hmm, good name for an album. Jules hates being spotted as a UFO by NASA and all those other space freaks that are looking for life outside Earth. See Earth can’t join the space community because we are still too tribal. Jules says that there’s nothing worse than a redneck American farmer that says “Eye’s seeen a UFO”. Cause we all know that aliens and UFO’s only appear in front of redneck American farmers. Well, sort of.
Anyhoo, I’ve had a gutful of sports stars and the like so today I’m going to talk to shadow Finance Minister Joke Hocknee. To make it easier to follow the interview I’m gonna do the initials thing at the side.
FOW: So Joke, you are good with maths then?
JH: Yes Sandy, one plus one equals two or thereabouts. Just depends on the core lie/non core lie theory.
FOW: Yes, but Joke you must surely understand investment strategies, shares etc. that must have a long term positive effect for the Australian voting public?
JH: Yes Kerry, er, um, Sandy, if we juxtaposed the symbiosis of the syntax we can say that nothing is certain. Except for certainty.
FOW: You must be concerned at the dollar meeting parity with the Greenback?
JH: Yes Sandy, the Greenback whale is welcome in our waters at any stage. We are all for conversation.
FOW: Don’t you mean conservation?
JH: Yes, that too, what ever it is.
FOW: As shadow treasurer do you see your party being able to reign in the banks on interest rates?
JH: Absolutely Sandy. One word from the banks and we will do whatever they want.
FOW: So Joke, If I could grant you a wish, what would you like to see happen?
JH: Oh it’s easy Sandy. Work your guts out for nothing while your boss gets rich.
That’s all tonight from the Devon Hurty Report, I’m Sandy O’Way, Canberra.
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
The only thing I know of australian current affairs and politics I learn from the Pig’s and from an ex-school chum on facebook who is a super-Liberal mortgage investor. I must say my vision and understanding is pretty skewed… But I love the Hung/Douglas Adams version of events much better…
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I think Jokey does a good impersonation of a helium balloon. Doesn’t the missus work for some sort of bank.
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Don’t know about banking on that, Algy. 🙂
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Another great illustration from Warrigal. Great talent and inspired.
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Viv, I too like this Warrigal illustration, but the bloody Pig’s Legs Waxing and Beauty Salon one is, well, too bloody for my liking…
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I refuse to get my bikini line done here.
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And I’m certainly not doing my bald patch there!
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Rein, not reign unless you meant ‘reign over the banks’ which probably does make sense.
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I’m reining in all my rain for the reign of my own regal garden, which isn’t in the plain in Spain!
Howzat Viv?
Watch it goil or I’ll get Smartacus on ya!
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The reign in Speign goes meignly down the dreign…
I’M SPARTACUS!
😉
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Delicious!
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I think you have already done that elsewhere.
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In that case, Viv, I’ll send you his brother, Smartarsekopoulos!
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Is that a promise?
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Back on to food, briefly – I have now seen pastourma (on the tele) and it looks more like prosciutto and is definitely nothing like
jerky.
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Vivie, prosciouto is ham. Pig’s bum.
Pastourma is, so far as the Greek variety goes, beef.
It is also raw but wrapped with cumin, hot paprika, garlic, pepper and salt and probably other doovers as well.
It is loved because it is very spicy.
Middle Eastern countries will use any meat that’s available to them, including, lamb and goat but in Greece, it’s mainly beef.
I think the jews have something similar which I ate in a jewis house once but it was similar only in name. Very bland, compared to pastourma.
This is roooly, roooly mouth watering stuff. And it’s a very effective appetizer. Eat a sliver of it and you’ll die of starvation -even if you’ve just eaten a month’s worth of food!
Yummmmmy
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A sliver of pastourma with a shot of ouzo and if you don’t see god’s throne before you then you’ve done some very naughty things in your life!
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Pro-shoot-O is ham! You could have knocked me over with a boulder! The pasterma, pastirma etc I saw was not
from Greece and I can’t remember from which animal it was made but I was pointing out the similarity – it was
basically raw, sliced very thin and pronounced wonderful. Probably (to me) as addictive as anchovy stuffed olives
and runny brie.
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I suppose all these “-stoourma” products are related in that they are all raw meat of some sort or other, but differ in their recipe of spices. I think what distinguishes the greek one from the other middle eastern au d’ouvres is the saltiness and spice-heat. The greek one is pretty potent on both counts.
As an au d’ouvre, it could do a jolly wedding dance in one’s mouth with anchovies, as well as with stuffed olives and runny brie.
Ouzo would make them all kick a higher leg and cry out a more spirited shout.
The main meal, of course, could comprise roasted goat shreds and chunks or spitted lamb with lots of salt, oregano and lemon. The occasional fried slice of eggplant, again with lots of salt, oil and wine vinegar.
Pretty goils, dames and broads would send an Adonis to olympian heavens.
Isn’t it just awful how one’s fantasy can spin completely out of control?
From pastourma to Aphrodite! Gorrrd, what’s next?
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I have been to a Greek wedding and there was no pastourma! But, there was so much food – to be polite one had to
try everything. A long time ago I had a neighbour who made her own filo pastry and even at 10 am I was offered
food and ouzo. In Greece, a dinner for six people was a whole spit roasted big body of lamb, 12 salads and buckets of
hot potato Greek style (can’t describe it). After three weeks of that I had put on a little weight which I subsequently
lost while travelling through the FR of Yugoslavia where breakfast was four courses including calve’s head cooked
in sheep guts and many bottles of rose wine. After then driving 300 kilometres on a cobbled road I threw the lot
up (many times) and couldn’t eat for three days.
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What a culinary adventure, ey, Vivie?
But, I must admit, the FR Yug couzine sounds a tad overwhelming! Calve’s head cooked in guts… I can’t even guess what that would do to one’s constitution and aesthetic sensitivities! Throwing up was probably a good counter attack!
Friends of ours just returned from a Cretan wedding. 1,500 guests who ate 661 sheep, half on spits and half in ovens. 400 litres of ouzo, and I forgot the tonnage of spuds, or littrege of other alcohol, or the number of shells fired (not allowed but the cops go hide on the night and come back a week later to eat the leftovers… the wedding lasted five days). Quite a tonnage of olives, I think and mezedes (morsels) of all descriptions. Hundreds of pieces of baklava, kataifi, melomakarona and many other sweets. I can’t remember how many sacks of walnuts, almonds, over 2000 boubounieres (sugar coated almonds in little boxes for little girls to put under their pillow for good marital fortunes).
Six bands of musos who merged as one to play the first wedding dance and then again the last one.
Some 20,000 euros collected in huge sacks…
It took my friends well over an hour to list the food stuffs and all the goings on.
It would probably take about five minutes to talk about a greek wedding here in oz these days. Different to the 60s and 70s when, even though people were poorer, the food and entertainment was much more exuberant. We seem to have curled up inside a shell of brick and mortar with a plasma TV in the corner…
Lamentable stuff the modern life.
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Ah, the Greek wedding was in Oz in 1969. My Oz born Greek friend’s father ran a reception venue. Jo invited me
as she didn’t have a bloke at that time. I had a wonderful, wonderful time that night – if I wasn’t eating and drinking
I was dancing. That Yugo dish (in the south) was the brains, cheek and tongue etc encased in the ‘bag’. By the
time they came out with the final dish (roast suckling piglet) I was too full to eat another thing. I forever wished
that it had been the first course! In Greece I also ate a lot of fish and Greek stews available at little huts just metres
away from clear blue waters. I actually had the best times in countries which were dictatorships – enter the country
and get checked out by soldiers with guns! But once in, it is a free for all, fun loving place. By the way, FR Yugo. was
very bi-sexual and very fond of bosom pinching.
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Did sandy ask jokey what 2 + 2 = or asking him to blow up a few balloons.
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Whatever the question the answer would be a lie.
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That’s fair stretch of the old leggo bricks blow me off course hoot hoot 🙂
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As Douglas Adams would say “Glad to be of service…” 🙂
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But Father! You didn’t ask Mr Jokey a real pokey question, like what’s four plus eight when the banks and the miners aren’t looking?
Go on, ask him. I dare you, Father; and stretch out your cross-bearing hand at him. Shove it right up close to his face and remind him of his Christian duties before he answers.
But it was still funny though.
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ato, To quote Seasick Steve, I started out with nothing and I’ve still got most of it left [Is that the right word GT?]
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Left. Yes, Hung “Left” is a good word. I have a left foot, a left leg, arm. eye, eyebrow, nostril, ventricle, two left shoes, three left socks, four nickers left… I’m flooded by what’s left.
It’s the right word alright.
Leaves people left speeches, once they shoot, eat leaves…
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Loved it Hung, sounded just like Joke!
By gosh that Sandy gets around!
By the way, love Seasick Steve.
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ACE ! I reckon we need to do another Seastick Sieve post, don’t you, Hungy ?
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I wrote a nonsense poem/form thing about adding bits (unspecified) and what happens when you take them away. Can’t find it. I have recalled it magnetted to the door of someone’s ‘fridge. Recall the musical Salad Days? They were look-, look-, look-ing for a piano?
We’re looking for a ‘fridge.
On ‘fridges everywhere, could be a title of an anthology to go (to sell). I want a slice of the pudding in that fridge. 🙂
I love ‘Seasick Steve.’ What a name to savour. 🙂
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Okay boss. You asked for it.
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