Tags
The Pigs Arms welcomes Mel
The Beach...
Sitting on the red sand, false hope at waves and shark sightings within my braggart persona. Finding my pants lack legs I stand and chase the elegant Harrods mirage to find nothing but a tree stump, chock of woodworm and a large egg with no hints as to origin or future hope of hatching. Shall I scramble? Shall I scamper? I sit and contemplate pants lacking legs and discuss my future with the woodworms, leaving the egg to rest in hope of becoming something new and big and slightly special.
Being warm I discovered the missing clothing appendage. I walked toward the big old green chair stolen from Le Cornu’s foyer and jumped aboard to enjoy the view, Wow, Atlantic Video within paces, think I just may, huge range of retro media. As I leap from the Le Cornu’s monument, I contemplate a name change due to massive overdue fines at every video store in sight upon boarding a Sea World helicopter. Yes, lucky I collected mail from all boxes at the stereotypical cream brick apartment block I call home. At once I settle on Nguyen Ng. Feeling lucky I carry heavy duty hair ties for faux slant eyes.
and the Video, courtesy http://www.starpulse.com
“Okay hero, I seek, Robin Hood Men in Tights, you have on your shelf?” “Sure, never seems to rent out longer than 15 minutes at a time” comes the reply. “Ah sooo – methinks it sounds too good, thank ye sir so much”. Smile on face I loosen the hair, mmm, normal eyes, so Aryan, yet in a special red headed fashion.
The Royal VN Your Majesty...
Limping across the ochre terrain I locate my pants legs across the windscreen of the VN, well thank God, nothing worse than burning your hands on the plastic economy class steering wheel.
TTG at night, well sort of...pix fotosearch
On to Adelaide. Tea Tree Gully here I come, stun gun and clothesline at the ready. Hey how is it going matey? What do you what… stun gun. Clothesline confines the man to his faux leather home theatre lounge. Hey smarty, big tough man – feast your obnoxious brain on this. Sets the DVD player to repeat –“Nooo, surely my cells shall fry”. “That’s nothing shaghead – tomorrow I’m making you sit through the entire Wogs, Kings of Mykanos [sic]”. He he. Don’t mess with me boy Mel wins.
Mel Nov 2010
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
sweet
LikeLike
There’s a bit of a change happening here, Hung One On, don’t you agree…
LikeLike
This was written by a fellow inpatient by the name of Melanie who was in hospital with me during my recent sickness. Not bad for a beginner H
LikeLike
Geez, I didn’t even notice the author!
Sorry, Melanie!
A huge, welcoming hug to you and hope you can give us some more of these delicacies!
Are you well now?
And I didn’t know you was sick, Hungsie!
Are YOU well now?
Cheery smiles to both o’ yez!
LikeLike
I thought it was your story, therefore the mention of the change in style…
Sorry about that, Hung.
LikeLike
No worries your Aitched Ness. Yes getting better every day. Two more weeks leave, bliss 🙂
LikeLike
…inpatient, or inmate?
LikeLike
Big M, the hospitals that I visit an inmate and an inpatient are the same thing 🙂
LikeLike
I dig “Being warm I discovered the missing clothing appendage.” 🙂
LikeLike
pie LINK Public Internet and Email operator here at Backpackers has captured screen with his Movember promotion. Machines desperately need repair. Best give the Pigs Arms team, Patrons of the Pigs Arms Team, the donation really. 🙂
Well done Mel with this good yarn. I like a good tie-up especially when the ending could have been frayed. 🙂
LikeLike
I will let Mel know shoe. I have sent her the link, I hope she will contribute more to the Arms.
LikeLike
Is le Cornu a play on words, i.e. The Horn??
Did you have one when you wrote this ?
Pants without legs! I wear these all of the time.
LikeLike
Nah, “cornu” is short for “cornuto!” Italian for “Cuckold” but I think he must mean the Le Cornu furniture fakes store. Is that right, Hungs?
LikeLike
Err, ahh, right. Fake furniture. Much less exotic than ‘The Horn’!!
I’ll stop blowing my horn.
LikeLike
Yes ato, Le Cornu is a very large store full of crap furniture that us poor can afford.
LikeLike
I told you all, I’m a genius, didn’t I? Why won’t ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME?
I’m… a genial genius!
(Good looking, too, after a couple of ouzos!)
LikeLike
Yes, Ato, handsome, highly intelligent, congenial, genius, who’s also quite self deprecating.
LikeLike
Sometimes I’m even modest, humble, reserved and… well, what can I say? Just a nice bloke all ’round!
Other times I’m just an idiot looking for a village!
LikeLike
I thought ‘cornu’ was french for ‘horned’; which would make Le Cornu ‘The Horned One’…
🙂
LikeLike
That’s “Mykonos” Hungs! Mee, Kon, Arse!
Gorrrd, you anglos make me sooooo ouzophilic!
What did you do with the egg?
You didn’t get inspired by Newsman’s eating 50 of them did you?
(Now when did ya ever see my boy throw up?)
That was one cool celluloid that one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNyl6gXLMLQ
LikeLike
Men. Reminds me of the afternoon Orion test flight for my navigation software changes: Adelaide-Great Barrier Reef-Adelaide. A Canadian pilot was on board as an observer, and bet the Australian pilot he couldn’t eat a whole onion. Turned out he could. But … we had to overnight at the Townsville RAAF base.
LikeLike
Atomou, please note the correction
LikeLike
You anglos… you take Greeks sooooo seriarsly!
But I like it!
LikeLike
“Pants lack legs” – a short story 🙂
LikeLike
Excellent take boss
LikeLike
“What’s Rangoon to you is Grafton to me.”
LikeLike
He attached the positive to his forehead and stuck the negative in his mouth before jerking around the front seat like a vegetarian in a butcher’s cold-room.
Delicious!
Thanks, Waz!
LikeLike
[audio src="http://www.rumble.net/psychedelicatessen/rangoon.mp3" /]
LikeLike
“I drove off in a cloud of Figure-8s.”
“…Was I crazy enough to speak to him [Erich Von Daniken]”
Fabulous listening to ‘What’s Rangoon to you is Grafton to me.” By Russell Guy. Voices: Russell Guy and James Dibble. Wonderful sound track. When I did soundscape stuff at college I had not heard this play and I wonder why it was not formally referred to in the context of class or in discussion. Seems to me excellence needs a boost in Australia.
None more than excellence in those who provide credit where credit is due!
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike