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Pig’s Psalm 5 – the Ellwar Arrangement
08 Saturday Jan 2011
Posted in Lehan Winifred Ramsay, Pig Psalms
08 Saturday Jan 2011
Posted in Lehan Winifred Ramsay, Pig Psalms
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08 Saturday Jan 2011
Posted in Big M, Pig Psalms
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By Big M
Merv is my Publican,
I shall not want.
He pulleth me Bitter,
He restores my palate
He leadeth me to the Gents,
He restores my intoxication.
He makes me lie down,
In gutters grey.
Though, I may stagger home through the streets of Lewisham,
I fear no poofter bashing,
O’Hoo and Foodge, they comfort me.
Granny prepares a table before me,
Wedges, beans ‘n’ cackle berries.
She anoints me sausage roll with sauce.
My glass canoe overflows.
Surely Trotter’s Best shall fill me,
All the days of my life.
I shall drink in the Pigs Arms, forever.
Amen.
07 Friday Jan 2011
Posted in Pig Psalms
January 7, 2011 by gerard oosterman
Dare the weary traveller
Still walk on seeping sands
Those shells still echoes and haunt oceans
Driftwood like remnants of life
The wind still giving howls
The leaves melt into moss
Mountains’ silent glaciers
But witness to decline
Dogs remain to bark
Noontide follow mornings
Spiders spin and weave their webs
Glistening morning dew, so magic
Forever last the setting sun
On yellow gum and rocks of gold
But will the weary traveller
Still walk on seeping sands?
07 Friday Jan 2011
Posted in Lehan Winifred Ramsay
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Story and Painting by Lehan Winifred Ramsay
George is disappointed again. The big black dog has caught him and put his jaws around his neck and shaken him, and George is lying on the ground waiting for him to stop. Some pieces of black fur have been caught up by the wind and are flying away. George has unblinking eyes and a limp body. He is not injured, just a tiny bit, but he is very disappointed. I have never seen a cat express such disappointment as George.
He wasn’t much bigger than George when he arrived, this dog. Now he is ten times bigger. George started the play but now it hurts him and the dog doesn’t understand that. The dog likes George. He thinks that’s what you do with cats you like. George likes the dog. That’s not why he lies there though.
When the dogs eat their breakfast George goes to the back door and prepares for the walk. He watches out the window and considers which direction we will be walking in. If he is confident he goes to the left or the right and waits there. He is not always right. George wanders along with us, sometimes ahead and sometimes behind and if a car comes he lingers in their path so they have to stop, and when he is happy with the way things have gone he moves to the side of the road. Every day during the walk I scold him, and every day after the walk I thank him for being still alive.
I made my first painting with a palette knife. It is not a picture of George. Actually I think it is a picture of me. It looks much more like me than it does a cat. Hunched up, claws out, frowning in concentration.
I really don’t want George to look disappointed. I don’t want his neck to be broken by the dog, or for him to die under a car. But it’s not my ability to change what might happen. All I can do is remember to look into George’s unblinking eyes every day and say thankyou.
07 Friday Jan 2011
Posted in Pig Psalms, Sandshoe
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By Sandshoe
Whoever rents the Pig’s Arms wedding suite (Chant; Top Dollar!)
will find the flaws in the paintwork (Chant; Zeus!)
I say to you Boss “He is no painter, Foodge
in whom you trusted.” (Chant; my Oath!)
Boss, he is a private dick (Chant; Gumshoe!!)
You surely knew (Chant; Boss!)
from the fowl house perches (Chant; Most High!)
and even to the piggery
he will lay no ground sheets as covers.
You’d think he’d learn under threat of death (Chant; Tar and Feathers!)
his splashes spoil car parks and entrances.
You will fear the Painter of the Night,
as he works as dick by day (Chant; Tar and Feathers!)
the pest will paint by night in darkness;
anyway still expect lunch at midday.
A thousand bucks likely dwindle,
ten thousand no worries [fade Pig-tel jingle!]
but he will splotch the Jag. (Chant; Not the Jag!)
Boss, you will see the results (Chant; Expletive Deleted!)
Then know the punishment has no end.
Say “Shoe Decorators and Painters,
make most too of this my pub’s verandahs (Chant; Most High!)
No harm in a fresh coat
On them; suspend a tent Indian style1
For the Kama Sutras when they visit the Pigs
to toss their knots and kick their heels up.”
They do strange things with turmeric.
They will be easy
and glad when Foodge evacuates the wedding suite.
You walk a thin line like the lion on the cobra.
You risk he treads in paint dollops and the tray.
No point your saying he loves you and rescue him
from drips and clean him with turps and water in spots.
Shoe Decorators and Painters (Call 6-double-6!).
Test not he can’t be that bad and
Gez will deliver the paint by bicycle?
It’s a long trip from the tip; it
will take forever, Boss
between the hot Milos and the slop (Chant; Strewth!)
Apologies to Psalm 91: Psalm 91 (New International Version, ©2010).
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+91&version=NIV
06 Thursday Jan 2011
Posted in Gerard Oosterman
Here in our compound of 8 villas/town-houses there is just one post box which has ‘no-junk’ on it. This is rather surprising because each week now we get a bundle in one package of about 12 different advertising folders. They are colourful brochures singing the praise of many different bargains to be had for the canny shopper. They run the gamut from Big W to The Good Guys and include such mouth-watering shopping venues as Fantastic Furniture, Dick Smith, IGA and even good old Woollies.
Did you know that SUPER IGA this week has, wait for it: Whole Economy Rump for $ 5.99 a kilo and it includes 200% guarantee on freshness & quality. Now, I ask you, how could anyone resist the 200% guarantee? But it gets even better. They have Peters Overload ice cream at $3.99, Minties at $1.99 and a 2 litre tomato sauce and 2 litre Barbeque sauce at both for a mere $3.99. Can you imagine 4 litres for $3.99? The mind boggles. I simply can’t imagine rushing out and get 4 litres of sauce to squeeze over food. I am not going to live that long, neither would you want to suffer that fate.
And that’s just the beginning. Cop this. At Fantastic Furniture, just for you, and as advertised, the magnificent Dallas Chaise in ‘living fabric’ reduced from $ 399.- to $299.- included 5 year structural and 10 years foundation guarantee. It’s all too much. I’ll just have to lay down on my own battered Euro Chaise and rest, rejoice in all those bargains.
Seriously though, who in earth studies those brochures? I must admit I have always felt a terrible bout of weariness coming on when it comes to anything with advertising. I just don’t get it. Do people really look at TV ads or newspaper ads? I must confess to having peeked into a Real Estate window when we were looking for a place to live. Mind you, I probably would look that up on the computer now.
When the kids come over they watch The Simpsons and they now know how to get to that channel. Apart from SBS we never ever watch a commercial channel. SBS has ads but I never really know what they are advertising because my eyes are on automatic when faced with advertising and just glaze over, and I take a nano nap.
I remember going to Moscow many year ago. It was heaven, not a billboard or ad in sight. No shops either. On SBS’s I love watching global village especially when it features continental Europe. It’s pure bliss seeing street scapes without those advertising hoardings so familiar here. Do Europeans buy less because advertising is so much more modest? It is all rather puzzling. I do think much man made architecture in Australia could be improved by making advertising subject to some sort of control.
Any trip along Sydney’s Parramatta Rd almost results in the need for a rehab, or a solid bout of counselling. Nothing in the world could possibly get any uglier. How can addicts to alcohol or drugs remain clean when visually assaulted everywhere they go? Trying to get repeat tourism to Australia the best thing would be to get some kind of aesthetics committee up and running and try and introduce standards in public use of advertising space like they do in most countries that are more sensitive to the world of vision. After all, why should we have the freedom to visually insult so many locals, let alone tourists, by imposing ugliness in the form of hoardings and screaming advertisements?
Anyway, Coles Beef has No added HORMONES and No added COST to you.
Fantastic, I must rush out, go to IGA for the 4 litres of sauce and 200% fresher Economy Rump then of to Big W to snap up the 5pack of Bonds hipsters.
06 Thursday Jan 2011
Posted in Warrigal Mirriyuula
By Warrigal Mirriyuula
The Runt was awake before sunrise and he and Owain had had some sport with the rabbits that infested the rough ground between the cypresses. Owain had been a little nonplussed by the notion of eating the rabbits they’d killed, but his hunger was sharper than his uncertainty about the furry food. Watching the Runt devour a kitten he soon caught on and they’d both eaten their fill. There were several limp bloodied carcasses for the other dogs.
As the morning sun split the eastern horizon the big dogs breakfasted on the rabbits, then the pack went off to find a drink.
A short while later the dogs were gathered around a pool of muddy water lying in a rocky depression in an outcrop that erupted from the sparse soil over the spine of the ridge. The sun was now blazing over the eastern horizon and a stiff breeze was blowing from the west. The dogs slopped up all the water they could. It was going to be a hot day.
As soon as the pack was watered Mongrel gave a commanding bark and set off to pick up the spore again. The other dogs set off after him, falling into battle order as they chased after Mongrel. Loccy, Ronnie and Chester out on the left flank behind, Mongrel and The Runt running centre on the main spore while King and Owain held a tight right flank ahead.
This arrangement of forces served them well as they pursued their quarry. The spread allowed them to identify a number of spores that seemed to be weaving together as the Molong pack followed the scent through the scrub. The main spore was strong and recent and Mongrel kept his nose to the dirt all of the morning and into the afternoon.
During that long hot day the Molong pack had traversed a wide circle on the trail of the weaving ribbons of scent and their pursuit had brought them back to the paddock below their bivouac on the ridge above Paddy Noonan’s place. As the late afternoon sun beat down Mongrel sensed the spore strengthening and he knew their quarry couldn’t be far away.
The Runt was out in front scouting the scent when he stopped dead in his tracks, his one good ear pricked and his little nose twitching. Through the sparse scrub along the fence line the Runt had finally sighted their quarry, a pack of feral dogs, little more than thirty yards away, resting in the shade of a copse of manna gums. They were more numerous than the Molong pack but they didn’t carry the weight at the top end. A few of the smaller members were scrapping amongst themselves, honing their fighting skills. It appeared that there were only three big dogs plus their leader. A really big tan coloured hound.
The Runt made his way back to Mongrel and the Molong pack and passed the message that they had at last come upon their target, the focus of their peripatetic peregrinations over the last two days. Here at last was the source of the scent that Mongrel had first smelled weeks ago when a grazier from out this way had come into town with dead sheep in the back of his ute. Mongrel had smelled it again a few days later when another bloke turned up in town with some dead lambs.
It was the smell of a foreign dog pack; a wild smell, a deadly smell, and the men of Molong became deeply concerned over the matter. There’d been a meeting in the town hall, a lot of shouting and waving of fists. The town was alarmed and uncertainty contaminated the usually equable tenor of the people.
Mongrel by now had felt his blood rising. This was his town too, these upset farmers were his people, his pack and these interlopers could not to be tolerated.
His resolve to get rid of these strange dogs had not wavered since the town hall meeting, and now here they were come upon the enemy at last.
The ferals’ copse was adjacent to the bottom fence of a large elongated paddock that ran between two high ridges of limestone. At the upper end of the paddock about fifty sheep were grazing peacefully. The ferals had obviously chosen the flock for tonight’s menu. Also at the top end of the paddock the Molong pack had drawn up in the low scrub just inside the paddock fence line a few hundred yards from the feral pack.
At a command from the big tan hound the ferals began to move stealthily up the fence towards to the top of the paddock and the sheep. The Molong pack crawled forward to the edge of the scrub and lurked in the long grass waiting on the feral advance. It was important that the sheep be gotten away from any fight that may ensue so Owain and his wingman King crawled out to the very edge of the cover, both twitching at the prospect of the imminent clash and their respective roles. The rest of the Molong pack divided into two units; Mongel and Loccy in one, Ronnie and Chester the other. As lookout The Runt had made his way to a rock a little higher up the ridge and was belly down looking over the edge as the two forces inched closer to one another. The ferals were still completely unaware of the presence of the Molong pack.
The ferals, now only fifty or so yards from the sheep and still able to maintain good cover until they’d have been almost amongst their grazing prey, foolishly chose that moment to begin their charge.
There was simply no more time for further organisation. The Molong pack sprang into action.
Owain burst from the scrub with King on his wing. Both dogs were now between the sheep and the attacking ferals. The corgi made straight for the sheep while King ran protection between Owain and the sheep and the feral pack. The ferals had obviously planned to drive the sheep further into the corner of the paddock where they could contain them and pick them off as they chose. It was a good plan as far as feral dogs were concerned. It had one major flaw. The ferals would be exposed as soon as they began the drive across the open paddock. The sheep would scatter and the dogs would have had to chase down the sheep one by one, but now having exposed themselves the ferals were completely committed to the attack and found themselves out in the open paddock confused by the sudden appearance of these other two dogs
While Owain pushed, then turned the sheep from their corner of the paddock and drove them down the fence line King turned to confront the ferals. The ferals made their first mistake in assuming that it was just the little dog and the shepherd.
Then almost immediately they made their next mistake in assuming that their numbers would take the day. There were about a dozen dogs in the feral pack, all lean and hungry mongrels, yellow eyed curs the lot of them, ranging in size from a couple of small to medium terrier crosses to the alpha, a mighty Ridgeback cross with a huge scarred head and a broken upper right canine. The alpha pulled up short and looked at King, growling ominously. King stood his ground and responded in kind. His blood was up and he was fit for the fight.
The rest of the ferals stopped too, the sheep for the moment forgotten. Owain had them half way down the paddock anyway and was driving the tight mob like the consummate little professional he was. This was Owain’s thing. His reason for being; and the little corgi felt like he was at home again, driving his welsh black sheep across the craggy redoubts of his old mountain home
The ferals turned and tightened into a narrow fan behind the alpha. Snarling and barking at King they began to move in to back up their boss. Their hackles were up, their heads were down, these dogs meant business. King would be an easy mark for the whole pack. A soft town dog not accustomed to fighting for his life.
It was the last mistake some of the feral pack would make.
In the frenzied blur of the first few seconds of the feral attack King took a serious licking. It was almost enough to do for him but he gave almost as good as he got, snapping the neck of one mongrel, tearing the ear off another, crunching the paw of a third; and in those few seconds the rest of the Molong pack exploded from the high grass and woody weeds along the fence line. They joined the fray in a classic pincer movement, attacking the ferals from behind.
It was Loccy’s moment to shine. Like some demented dog crane the powerful wolfhound just tore dogs out of the tight snarling, roiling mass of dog flesh piled on top of King and tossed them aside with a mighty shake and flip, breaking the neck of another small feral, and seriously discouraging others of greater size. Mongrel had a collie cross by the throat while Ronnie and Chester took to the alpha and had him by a leg and the neck, but this big dog hadn’t survived this long without buckets of courage and wiles that had made him a feral alpha. He tore a chunk out of the flap of skin at Chester’s elbow and the cattle dog yelped and dropped off the alpha’s leg. Ronnie tightened his grip on the alpha’s neck but now the alpha’s legs were free he swung his bulk under Ronnie and toppled the Rottie off to the side.
Ronnie rolled and recovered, turning immediately to rejoin the melee. Now Mongrel had the big alpha by the cheek and the alpha, enraged, was trying to get free without tearing half his face off; but then, while Loccy bounded down a lesser member of the feral pack and did the dog prodigious damage, Ronnie, Chester and even King, now a little recovered and ready to have at it again, had the big alpha fixed in their combined sights.
While the rest of the Molong pack fought their way through the few remaining feral dogs to support Mongrel and get at the boss feral, Mongrel and the alpha turned in a tense, terrible, bloody dance to the grizzly accompaniment of their mutually ferocious growling.
With the Chester and Ronnie making short work of the other ferals and Loccy bounding back up the paddock to take another victim, the alpha knew it was now or never. With a howl that echoed of the rocks of the ridge the alpha, pumped to bursting with adrenalin, tore away from Mongrel, his face streaming with blood.
Mongrel, unanchored, tumbled over and the alpha had just enough time to turn and run before he would have been taken again by the reorganising Molong pack. He was a powerful dog with a long stride and despite his many injuries he soon outran Chester and Ronnie who had given committed chase.
Mongrel, his snout covered in gore, barked exultantly then howled at the rising moon, a righteous celebration of their combined success. Chester and Ronnie drew up their pursuit and turned to rejoin Mongrel, howling too as they trotted triumphant across the now darkening field. Owain even joined in from the far end of the paddock.
Deserting the sheep, which had come quite happily under his expert guidance to the safest corner of the paddock, far away from the fury of the dog fight, the little corgi ran as fast as he could, barking all the way to join in the pack song with Mongrel. King and Loccy were there too, Loccy contributing his own unusual howl to the canine chorale, while the weakened King mustered a croaky bark now and then.
The Molong pack rampant was something to behold and when the Runt finally joined the rejoicing pack from the deepening moon shadows in the direction the alpha had just escaped, their circle was complete.
The magnificent seven from Molong howled and barked until it was full dark
With the Molong pack celebrating between them and their retreating leader, the broken mongrels of the feral pack slunk away into the shadows to lick their wounds. Defeated and leaderless they were worse than useless. Of the eight feral survivors of the pack fight, all were injured in some way, a few mortally. Their bodies would rot where they dropped in some defile, some deathly retreat, and the world would neither know nor care. As for the survivors, again no one would care? They might make it alone, they might join a new pack, or they might just disappear into the great bush of western New South Wales; a perennial pest, out of place and out of time, just waiting on the graziers gun.
With the moon now riding high in the night sky the Molong pack wearily climbed back up to their bivouac on top of the ridge. The fight had cost them too and they had their own wounds to lick.
That night they all slept up close, a tight pack of dogs having been welded to one another by mutual adversity. The only real difference between them and the surviving ferals now dispersing through the moonlit bush was Molong, the town and its people, which even now that the job was done was calling them back with a song of home and hearth.
At first light the dogs awoke to find Mongrel and Loccy had gone. The Runt ran a quick scout and determined that the two dogs had gone after the escaping ridgeback. The Runt was in two minds as to whether to follow and ran along the scent for a few yards and back again, but he could have had no role if Loccy and Mongrel finally caught up with the alpha feral. He was too small.
Besides the other dogs weren’t as familiar as he was with this country to the southwest of town and King needed company as he convalesced.
Reluctantly the Runt went back to the other dogs and organised them for the slow trip home.
All that hot day Mongrel and Loccy pursued the big ridgeback across the paddocks, around hills and over dry creek lines. They lost the spore at one point and circled aimlessly in long grass until they picked it up again. The ridgeback was injured and the dropped blood had made him initially easy to follow but as the day wore on and they still hadn’t spotted the alpha feral the blood had stopped and the dogs were left to pick up the dissipating complex molecules of dogscent the ridgeback left in the grass and at every foot fall. It was hard work concentrating on that one scent to the exclusion of the distractions of all the others and Loccy and Mongrel, now many miles from Molong and still following the alpha south, had almost given up when at last they sighted him taking a drink from a drying pool in an intermittent creek bed. Mongrel and Loccy had been scrupulously careful to remain downwind of the spore all day and now it had paid off. There was their quarry. The breeze blew his scent to them strong and definite.
As the ridgeback turned from the pool to rest in the shade of a nearby gully Mongrel and Loccy could clearly see he was limping. That had been Chester’s work. Leave alone the gammy leg, the feral leader was in a bad way. He was dog tired and his head was a gruesome mess of dried black flyblown blood and his neck, body and legs were covered in deep lacerations, having paid the price yet again for the wild life he’d led.
Mongrel and Loccy went down on their bellies and began to inch forward towards the drop off into the gully in which the ridgeback was resting. Mongrel was an old hand at this manoeuvre, having won many a tasty titbit from the amused drunks outside Jimmy’s with just this trick. It was astonishing how small a profile Loccy could fit for a dog that stood nearly four feet high and weighed nearly ten stone; though given his long spindly legs, his crawl was somewhat more awkward than Mongrel’s.
They maintained cover downwind until they were almost on top of the ridgeback. Stopping in the long grass the two Molong dogs exchanged a complex semaphore of facial expressions and body and tail postures. They briefly, gently licked one another’s snouts for courage, just to let each other know they were in this together. It was death or glory.
The two dogs slid and tumbled into the open mouth of the gully cutting of the ridgebacks escape to open ground. They took up aggressive postures, growling and snarling at the ridgeback, ready for the final attack.
The ridgeback was almost all in. His left rear pastern was crushed and matted with blood, he was covered in cuts and lacerations and his head was a horror of gelatinous scabbing and exposed flesh. During the heat of the day’s pursuit flies had done their work and the injury was alive with hatching maggots. The ridgeback had the stench of death on him.
The once proud leader didn’t respond to the Molong dogs’ snarling. He whimpered a little and tried to retreat further into the wall of the gully. He was dribbling from the pizzle and entirely submissive.
Without an aggressive response Loccy and Mongrel didn’t quite know what to do. Mongrel barked at the ridgeback but he only whimpered back. He was a broken dog.
Mongrel and Loccy sauntered off to take a drink from the pool where they’d first sighted the ridgeback. This was odd. Not what they’d been prepared for and once again it was Loccy that resolved the situation. He finished his drink and went and sat down near the ridgeback, giving the feral dog a good deep growl just to be sure he didn’t get the wrong idea.
Mongrel joined Loccy and the quiet presence of the two other dogs seemed to calm the feral. He continued licking his wounds as best he could but his head injury was slowly sapping what little vitality he had left. He was dying. It was just a matter of time.
Loccy and Mongrel took to licking their own wounds, sleeping fitfully from time to time.
The sun went down and the moon rose through the trees to begin its nightly journey across the sky. The big ridgeback was now unconscious and his breathing was shallow.
Some time later Mongrel and Loccy noticed that the big dog had gone quiet. They got up and gave his stiff cooling carcase a sniff. He was gone. Loccy gave the body a shove with his snout. No response.
It was over. The job was done. They left the dead ridgeback in the gully and the two weary dogs turned for home. It was going to be a long walk through the night.
By the time the two bone tired dogs arrived back at the rectory it had gone past two in the morning. The waning moon was high in the night sky and the dogs sat together on the moonlit verandah for a while. If they had been men they might have fallen into desultory conversation about their exploits and those of their fellows, as weary heroes will. But they were dogs and all they were feeling was a strong bond between them and the sense of security that being home elicited in every tired fibre of their being. For dogs aren’t philosophers. They’re practical pragmatic beings of enormous empathy. All it takes for them to be happy is for those around them to be happy.
Mongrel and Loccy were simply happy to be home.
In time Loccy got up and gave Mongrel a lick on the head. Mongrel yawned and got up too. Loccy went over to the door and standing up on his hind legs rang the doorbell. Mongrel joined him by the darkened doorway. Presently the verandah light went on and the sleepy eyed gardening father opened the door in his night shirt. He did a double take, thinking at first that there was no one there, then seeing the dogs.
Half asleep he opened the flyscreen door and allowed the tall hound in.
“Loccy….”, half statement, half question, was all he managed, yawning at the same time. He began to close the door. Mongrel barked and Loccy stopped in the hall and barked back. The father closed the door and turned out the verandah light.
“Quieten down Loccy. You’ll have the whole house up.” The father looked at Loccy in the hallway light. The dog was a mess. His wiry coat was full of grass seeds and burrs, bits of him were covered in matted mud and was that blood all over his side? “Where have you been these last few nights anyway?” Loccy just nuzzled the father. “And who was that other dog I saw you with? You’ve certainly got some explaining to do mister.” the father all the while stroking Loccy’s head as they made their way through the darkened rectory. The place hadn’t been the same without Loccy.
Mongrel was alone now, making his way back to the house in Shields Lane. He was dog tired and had some healing to do but he began to trot and then the trot turned to a run and then Mongrel spent the last of himself getting home as quickly as he could.
The sound of Mongrels claws scratching the bitumen and kicking away the gravel as he bolted down the last bit of Shields Lane awakened the Runt who was asleep on the blankets on the verandah. The little dog ran to meet his mate and they greeted one another like it had been weeks rather than just a day. The Runt was jumping up and nipping Mongrel and licking him but all Mongrel wanted was a quick drink and then the oblivion of the blankets.
The dogs lay down together, the Runt snuggled under Mongrel’s back leg as was their custom, and soon they were asleep.
When the sun came up again it would be Christmas Eve but the dogs had already given the town their gift.
05 Wednesday Jan 2011
Posted in Bands at the Pig's Arms
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05 Wednesday Jan 2011
Posted in Gerard Oosterman
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The Fellatrice and Milo.
In Bowral there is a nice cul-de-sac which is closed to traffic and open to pedestrians. It features a number of cafes, decorator’s shops and a travel agent. One of those shops even sells the very fashionable Marimekko dresses together with a kind of what years ago could be called ‘haute couture’ items, keenly sought after by those on the cusp of advancing years and with comfortable wallets…
Its main feature because of the banning of cars is that it is one of those rare flukes of a successful bit of public space that works extremely well. The council had the foresight of having planted some deciduous plane trees ensuring shady retreats in summer and lovely sun in winter. It also has comfortable seating and even has a sculpture donated by our own artist Bert Flugelman, who lives in Bowral. He is the one who gave us the sculpture in Martin Place Sydney. Apropos, This sculpture, ’The Silver Shish Kebab,’ was heavily criticized by Frank Sartor and has since been moved to Spring Street.
The cafes have been given approval to have seating arrangements at the open space as well as in the actual cafes. Waiters are routinely seen to walk across to serve the many locals and tourists with their chosen fare. There are those fold up umbrellas to supplement shade and in winter gas heaters ensure outside al fresco dining all year round.
The place just works perfectly and with a bit of imagination one could be in a square at Bolzano or even Paris. Musicians and a flower stall on most Saturdays give it quite a buzz and finish the picture perfect.
We had just arrived with Milo on a lead when I needed to go to the CBA’s ATM also located there, handily enabling tourists to withdraw cash and hand it over to the shops or cafes. I am always surprised at the magic when the money comes out, unbelievable really, so modern and electronic with receipts and balances print out. I handed Milo to Helvi while pinning in details. She decided to just walk on, possibly to see if Marimekko dresses were visible in the shop. You just never know!
Suddenly, a large and brown dog shot out from somewhere and got stuck into Milo. A terrible killing was just about to happen. I rushed over but remembering my brother’s micro surgery on his hand when stopping a fight between his bull terrier and a German Sheppard, decided not to get my hands anywhere near those ferocious looking jaws of this large brown dog. The fight might not have lasted much more than a few seconds but it seemed much longer. The two dogs were rolling against a pram with a baby. The mother screamed and onlookers were aghast. By this time the large brown dog owner had got up from her table. A young man from one of the shops came out and without further ado picked up Milo, just like that, still on lead and put it in my arms. Almost a gift at the foot of the temple of Zeus, I thought. He had curly hair.
The mother of the baby and the woman with the brown Rottweiler-Labrador were by now facing each other like something out of Quo Vadis. “How dare you have this dog not on a lead the mother shouted? “”With my baby nearly being tipped over” she added furiously. The owner of the dog with deeply rouged lips shouted back with a somewhat fish and chips voice, “My dog never does anything”, “he just wanted to play”. “Play?” “You’re as rough as guts” the mother retorted. I could see some logic to that as the dog-owner had not only those thickly shaped and deeply rouged lips as if in the past she might have practised as an experienced Fellatrice, she also spoke as one. It could well be that the ferocious dog was a remnant of those days, offering protection in case of an unsatisfied and cranky limp customer. Who knows? Perhaps she was a directrice instead, perchance in a very respectable retirement village, maybe called ‘Braeside,’ for retired pilots, of which Bowral seems to house so many. I might just be unnecessarily cruel and prejudiced. Even so…Poor Milo.
We then walked on to post a Christmas card to Finland but glancing back, the fight was still going on between the baby’s mother and the owner with the large brown dog and deeply rouged lips. I knew the mother had the backing of the bystanders. It is amazing that dog owners always seem to take the side of ‘their’ dog and that ‘their’ dog could never ever do anything like biting other dogs, let alone capable of killing, even babies. Shit does happen.
Milo walked on as if nothing had happened. Nose to the ground and the lead taut as always.
04 Tuesday Jan 2011
Posted in Lehan Winifred Ramsay
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Story and Painting by Lehan Winifred Ramsay
Then of course, having spent seventeen years of my life in Brisbane and then eleven in Hakodate, I can tell you this. Small towns have little enclaves of scorching eccentricity. Small towns are where otaku are germinated. Here in Hakodate there are roving hordes of african drummers. Small hives of animation geeks. More classical artists slogging away at their craft than you can put pins on a map. All tucked away quietly where no tourist program would ever think to go.
Small towns are breeding grounds for obsessive excellence. It’s just that you don’t see them, don’t hear of them. These days you’re more likely to know about them if you live in another small town in a completely different part of the world. Tapping signals at each other through the electronic waves.
In Hakodate they have a certificated course about squid, culminating in an examination. It’s called the “Squid Master Course”, or something like that. It’s very popular. But it’s a novelty thing. Anyone who really cares about squid enough to know a squillion things nobody else knows is going to be keeping their heads down, contemptuous of the Squid Master Course’s low standards, known only to the people who know a squillion things about octopus or flounder.
I hardly remember any more what people knew about in Brisbane. But like Adelaide, Canberra, crazy incredible feats of theatre and music and art flickered intermittently, and if they had enough power to turn into a steady light those people would be sucked up out of the town and find themselves on a street in Sydney or Melbourne, New York or Berlin or London. Where they too would either flounder or learn to suck up to funding bodies.