Tags

,

.
 

 
It’s Now or Never
I make six hundred photocopies of my school flyer to insert in the newspapers of the next suburb. But my car in the carpark is sitting on a bed of ice, and the wheels simply spin without moving. I am a little pleased because I feel anxious driving on the ice of February. I set out on foot. Down the road I meet Mr Kitamura walking his dog. I ask him where the newspaper distribution office is, and he points me in the right direction. It is a walk of 25 minutes, but I am outside and the weather is fine, and I feel like I have taken a step.
The flyers go out, but the phone does not ring. I am in a low-pressure pattern holding pattern. What if my six hundred flyers don’t bring me any students, what then? Things are no better for having gone to the newspaper distribution office. I take some more to a gallery. Maybe things will be okay. But if there is no clear result it feels like there is no step taken. I take some more to a cafe. The owner is not there, the cafe is locked. Then things will not be okay. I will have to do another thing tomorrow.
This is the way it is for the anxious. Maybe the weather will improve. And then maybe I will go outside.
This is the way it is for making something happen. Even if I have taken a step today, I will take another tomorrow.
One student came today. She is elderly, and she reads the lessons I give her over and over, determined to make them stick in her head, but she doesn’t think that they do. She seems worried too, by the lack of noticeable change in her. I take out an Elvis Presley song. Her eyes light up. She loves Elvis Presley and she has this song in her house. Two things have connected for her. This is the difference, for her, between taking a step and standing still.
No students come to my painting lesson. So I paint a picture. I have no money, but I do have time. Make a good plan and then begin it. Do what you say you want. It’s Now or Never.