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| Bradman Oval with the adjacent Bradman Museum of Cricket. |
It was an auspicious start to the day. I thought of doing a quick walk around the ‘world famous cricket’ ground at Bradman oval. I do this walk almost daily at least once and with autumn in its full glory, you would have to be legless not to walk. Any walk always has to involve Milo. As soon as he spots the ritual of putting shoes on feet, he becomes intolerable. He jumps up against the door handle like a maniac let out of Bedlam. I usually take the Norwegian nurse’s dog Louis as well.
All of us trotted along very nicely and were half way around the oval where a youthful team or two were doing what normally gets done on a cricket oval, play cricket. There was the usual sporadic clapping just after the sound of a ball being batted. The crowd was just as sporadic, all wrapped in blankets with some sipping tea from thermoses.
I had almost gone over half way, lost in thought, if that is possible, with in between telling Milo, ‘nice walking Milo’ at the same time jerking the lead. “Nice walking, Milo” a bit sterner now again. I have hopes of Milo learning to ‘walk nicely’ without trying to forever pull my arm out of the socket. I feel justified to jerk him as well, to balance the books as it were. He takes notice for a second only to resume pulling again. Jack Russell are obstinate. Their noses are not like any other dogs that we have ever owned and will sniff out a wood-duck from miles away. All of a sudden a chorus of very loud shouting. “Watch out”.
I was still lost in ponderings or whatever, probably a bit of Alzheimer, when out of the blue a cricket ball landed right next to me in between Milo and Louis. I could have been killed. Everyone broke out in clapping and cheering, ‘well done’, I heard a few shout. Sport has never been keen on me nor me on sport. At school sport I was always happy if a ball did not get kicked or thrown towards me too closely and was mightily relieved if I had to stand somewhere near the back of the grass. A short stint at Scarborough Basketball club in Cronulla taught me to stay well clear of sport. I suffered broken nose and spectacles.
I threw the ball back but even failed to cover the distance between where the ball had fallen and the wooden picket fence. This was only a short distance away. Anyway, this caused some hilarity amongst the sparkling white clad cricketers. The oval is a very well maintained cricket place and the distance between me, outside the oval, and the wooden bat was considerable. No wonder they were clapping.
I continued the walk back home pondering (again) how our lives are just so incidental, hanging by a tenuous thread of a possible unfortunate landing of a cricket ball.
I returned Louis to the blonde Norwegian neighbour. He always walks ‘nicely’.

I am having a day of something near hysteria or I am morbidly finding humour in everything. My reading of this piece of yours Gez was that it is hilarious on first reading. Well, except for the sentence with the descriptor in it that I read several times.
‘…the Norwegian nurse’s dog Louis’ jumped out of context as some descriptors do for me. I read the sentence over, feeling bad, having thought ‘Norwegian nurse’s dog Louis’ …funny, hilarious … my heart stopped. Gez must be entombed in a hospital and has been given permission to walk the dog of the Norwegian nurse. How many nationalities of nurses with dogs might there be in this place. At least he got in somewhere wordly. Riddled with guilt I nervously began to read; I have been too self involved. Gez has been stricken with a malady that allows him some freedom (I wonder how far he is allowed) and who knows, maybe in fact only with dogs because what is wrong is contagious to humans, maybe that’s the specialness of the dog of the Norwegian nurse. It is a healer. Where’s Milo.
No, I don’t panic. I’m on survival watch. I notice this is a trick of yours Gez, or you are just a bumbling innocent who repeatedly gets me in by a quirk of word fate akin to automatic writing…automatic tricking. It comes as natural to you as does Milo’s … I hesitate to evoke the memory of your story of scooping into your bare hand to dispose of it Milo’s excreta, in front of or near the fashionable shop in Bowral where Helvi is prone to stand and gawk in its windows. Oblivious to any gallantry you might be in the act of displaying like a brightly coloured tail feather.
This. Hilarious. To one as I to whom the word “sport” when I was a child seemed like one sent from hell, and that I played tennis reasonably well an entire act of accidental good fortune covering up I couldn’t play it at all. The ball landed right next to you between Milo and Louis? The empathy I feel must be a clue to why I find this so hysterically funny. Something definitely here about laughing at another’s rotten luck because it is not my-in this instance-own. And just stopped still? Even I have seen cricket balls (on television) scudding acrosss great stretches of grass and they do not stop.
I love all of it. The final sentence has me rolling every time I think of it. Thanks Gez. What a corker. 😉
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If you hadn’t been daydreaming, Gez, you could have caught someone out!
😉
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Jesus Gez! Nearly knocked out by a cricket ball. You should be more careful, old chum!
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A bit of a drama queen, our Gez, maybe even a secret cricket lover as well, after all there are other parks around, even closer by.
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H, your comments are priceless. You are the packaging for the package, you light up my world with your droll commentary on the writing of ‘our Gez’. You shake me up and make me stop and think, and I laugh again. What a pair you make. 🙂
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Hung, isn’t it lovely, Bradman Oval and The International Hall of Cricket…
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Yes H, I must say it looks beautiful. I will have to visit next time I am over that way
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