Story and photo by Jules, VL, Vee-ell, Vectis Lad and Lord Funston, Hadron, Little Hadron etc…..
Oh well, Vee-ell thought, another blustery day in paradise. What lies in store—he wondered?
The plumber was due at 8:30, just about the time he got back from walking the dogs. Not due to carry out any plumbing; simply to spray some bright paint from an aerosol can. The paint, to be used as a marker, so that the concrete cutter, when he arrived would be clearly able to see—to make his incisions in the pathway. After all, without this crucial surgery, how could the waste pipe be cut, to insert the branch? It got him thinking, was it the right thing to do? Move the washing machine into the garage. However it was such a monster, that it deserved its own sepulchre; being far too big for the new laundry, with its chintzy new glazed cupboards. And it was, after all said and done, a dryer too. So it needed more space, just like Audrey II.
Yes it was it was going to be yet another hum-drum morning—Vee-ell mused, as he pulled his Honda into one of the narrow car spaces outside the main post office. There were ample spaces, but all on an angle, meaning one had to be wary; what with all of the secretaries collecting the office mail first thing and juggling car spaces like stumps on an Aussie wicket. Still it was always pleasant to jump out and inhale their perfume, after the doggy smell in the trusty car. He felt sure that the secretaries competed. They were all perfectly coiffed, with shiny bijou belts and Lily inspired skirts. Lily inspired, he reconsidered? Doubt it. This lot are more ‘Bingle` than Lapkin, was his thought bubble.
Vee hopped out, dodging a secretary with an armful of papers and opened the mail-box, pausing for a second; pondering on the content: a bunch of mail. No surprise there.
Spam in the bin, window envelopes to the bottom, chunky ones to be squeezed, put on top and speculated on.
Well, there was one worth opening on the spot: it seemed mysterious, but its arrival had been augured: its precise content unknown. The NSW postmark was a portent. Beguiling, he thought.
Immediately, Vee got down to it; stripped the tab back where the pull command was written in red and roughly jemmied the padded thing open. But then, what did he find? Another identical envelope inside. Just like the first. Feeling thwarted, but on the scent, the next red tab was yanked. This one however revealing an oblong plastic device wrapped in a hand written note.
The note was read, on the spot, holding it at full stretch, interfering with a matronly lady carrying a…an armful of papers. The note, fanfared the booty: a selection of music recorded to a Sony USB microvault. So without more ado, Vee leapt back in the car, battling the dog-fumes—and hurtled out of the car park. The disapproving looks from the secretaries being a bonus.
The note and USB were from a fellow Pigs patron: young Hung, so with some excitement & ceremony, Vee cleared a space to examine this absorbing event.
Well a cursory scroll and an hour surfing, revealed a complex, eclectic collection. Some delightful and riveting ensembles. Something old, something treasured and something(s) new.
It would not do this kind deed justice, to blurt out the titles of this collection. They will be savoured by Vee-ell alone in the first instance.
His cup runneth over. And his gratitude will be fuel. The USB, will be returned to its generous owner, once the music has been thoroughly examined. All hail Hung.


I’m no fan (surprise, surprise) but that photo of her in the shower is terribly sad. A warning to other nubile nymphettes maybe, but on the other hand it didn’t cause her to change course.
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Qui cum canibus concumbunt cum pulicibus surgent!
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Better lay off the ‘canibus’ Vee-ell… You’re garbling your words!
😉
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VL, gez is not ignoring your story, he is not well…
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I’m not ignoring my short story either…I’ve just come back from TFM at Bundall… Sun has broken through and the whole scene was alive with good grace.
And to add to the atmosphere there was a good live band. How lucky I am to live so close. It feels like living in the country, yet it is right here in the centre.
I had Australian grown coffee; Mum had a mocha and Mrs Lad (heehhe, that does sound amusing), had a mocha, on late arrival
I always take my mother, as it’s one of the few trips now. Apart, that is, from BlueCare organised outings. She loves the sausage sarnies made by two Chinese girls who have a stall there.
I bought a kilo of vac-pac mussels, which will be steamed with steamed with some sweated onions later.
I get my olives there too. I’m not keen on the stuffed variety. There is a Greek man who has a fantastic collection, but I like the large green ones, complete with complimentary internal stone.No stuffing.
AND to Viv, if’n youse do get down here, I’m going to contemplate my roots. I a window of about 40 mins to get the axe out, or summit–then I am obliged to put on a grey suit and white shirt–for a meeting in Sorrento… Secret men’s business.
AND to Helvi, I do hope that gerard’s health improves. I miss his reproving comments. Mind you everybody criticises me in here. A lesser mortal would quit 😉
Perhaps, if I just agree with everyone, so that they hear what they want to hear, ii’ll give them that warm fuzzy feeling: like being in a club of know it alls. Sometimes I feel blessed to be so stupid with my lowly ideals and practicality 😉
C’mon gerard, your farmers market v mine.
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Gonna have some fun tomorrow when I can crank up the volume to listen to some of these vids, Hung… Looking forward to checking out Marvin Gaye’s version of ‘Pride and Joy’ especially; wanna see how close (or not!) it is to SRV’s…
Anyway… time to hit the hay to catch some zs… ‘Night bro!
🙂
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…and Marvin Gaye’s ‘Pride and Joy’ is a joy….enjoy 😉
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Thank you Helvi… listening to it right now; very different from SRV’s ‘Pride and Joy’… which is also a joy!
Best wishes to Gerard… hope he gets well soon!
🙂
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We were only talking about Marvin Gaye the other day,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDMyjpwaCGM&feature=fvwrel
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Or this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvAO3fr5Q4c
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Or this one
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Or maybe this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l43zR-XmXso
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Or
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Hung, Bream does Villa Lobos beautifully…
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Had the pleasure of seeing him live, brilliant
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You know Hung, life is gonna be too short to hear all of the good music..
I reckon it’s time for another mammoth Woodstock. maybe in Queensland.
We need to find a farmer, who’ll rent out his land, and then a backer. maybe I could approach Clive Forefinger: He has a penchant for being in the news. I notice that he was critical of fracking recently.
He has plenty of property on The Gold Coast (maybe on could house the Festival?). he has a big abode at Sovereign Islands and a large suburban (not rural ) farmlet).
Any idea of a name? I suppose that it should focus on the name, ie Woodstock; Isle of Wight.
Ok, we’ve got past the dreaming stage, now we need to sort out the bands. Two days five headline acts and ten other good bands.
Oh and of course the compere? Well , ‘Whispering Bob Harris’, is ‘brown bread’…sooo, what about Tony Jones, or The gnome, Bill Shorten?
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Good idea VL maybe the Pigs Arms could host it. By the way this fracking sounds dangerous.
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Brilliant use of harmonics by Julian Bream… fanstastic speed and accuracy on his guitar work too… Great funky stuff from ‘Steely Dan’… and a nice tribute to Elvis from the Badloves…
The idea of a Pigs’ Arms version of Woodstock is appealing… You know, at Bickershaw in the UK, they even managed to arrange for the three days of rain and mud; helped along by the emptying of the six-foot deep tank of water used by the high-diver… But I think we can probably do without all that watery wetness at ‘PIgstock’… Whaddaya reck’n?
😉
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Bream’s parents gifted him a beaut name too 🙂
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For a story about secretaries picking up the daily mail, that held my interest surprisingly well. I put it down to descriptive flair; special mention to the bails. Can’t wait for the next instalment even if it’s only to find out about their hairstyles.
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Well, I put in a bit about plumbing for you…And there was the concrete cutter’s imminent arrival. You can just imagine his muscles & torso.
But…sigh…I guess he can’t compete with Doug ‘Jock’ Cameron…Mind you Cameron can certainly *plumb 😉
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… And don’t talk to me about plumbers VL… not after yesterday’s emergency… Too late to show a piccie of the hole, ’cause that was yesterday and now the hole’s filled in and the leak (crying me a real river!) is mercifully plugged! All that has to happen now is for the soil to dry out enough so it won’t shink and crack the new concrete that still has to be poured to replace the gap in the pavement just outside my ‘country estate’…
🙂
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I am, however filling the battery for my camera so I can take a piccie to share with you where the hole was… Jeez, you should have seen the amount of water that came out of it! I was thinking of getting my fishing rods out and having a go… but I had nothing for bait; hence the bacon sangers for tea tonight!
🙂
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You’re supposed to plug it into your computer and download all the music, Lord VL Funston Jules Hadron(s)… Not eat it!
(A couple of quick bacon sarnies will keep me going for a while! They call ’em sangers here in SA, but I didn’t want to confuse all you interstaters or foreigners!)
Looking forward to hearing what’s on it… Mr One On is reputed to have good taste in music, so I hear…
🙂
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The list looks good.
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Your an ugly brute for a tory, VL.
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Yes, I know. Excuse the close up. Clicking on it shows the memory stick 😉 ….However I wanted people to know that Hung had sent a Sony 16 gig, quality device. I felt that I owed him that 😉
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I suspect that he may have used his own noggin!!
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About time we had an article from you Lord VL Funston Jules… but it’ll have to wait ’til I’ve had my tea for me to read it… Back in a while… No trapdoors here?
🙂
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Don’t forget to tick your notify box and the click on the link that arrives in your email 🙂
Must go, SBS News!
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Bugger that for a game of soldiers, VL! I’ll just do my normal trick of ‘doing the rounds’ of all the recent ‘blogs of interest’ every now and then, when I take a break from the Middle Ages.
I have now been reconciled with the pope, but the rest of Europe still keeps on attacking my cites; especially Toulouse and Antwerp… Thus far I’ve kept ’em at bay, but it’s meant I haven’t been able to build up my armies enough to invade anywhere else yet… I think taking Dijon away from the Milanese is probably going to be my next move… and the French still have Marseilles, so that’s got to be taken asap… with luck that’ll be the second ‘faction’ I’ve eliminated this game… (the first, of course, being the English!)
Ach it’s a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht for a battle the nicht…
😉
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Just think though, ‘you’ve got to peruse seversl pages and scroll up & down to see if there any comments.. When all the time your email could have told you instantly.
Oh well you Australianised Geordies, are a strange lot.
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I was never a real ‘Geordie’ anyway VL… just a ‘blow-in’ there too… and merely a temporary one at that… and a technophobic one too.
I know it may seem strange to you, but I have my own little routine which works well for me, so I think I’ll stick to it… the ‘devil you know’ and all that…
🙂
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You’re intransigent.
Now you won’y know that I have said that unless you come back. Really T2. you must embrace technology .
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But I did come back Vee-ell… I’ve just been watching the telly for a bit… caught the last half of ‘River Monsters’ again… Next week I’m going to try to catch the whole prog. For anyone with a piscatorial predilection, such as yours truly, it’s a really great show… this week he was in the Amazon (I think; or maybe one of its tributaries; certainly somewhere in South America) fishing for a fish called the ‘arapaima’ (spelling is a guess… but that’s how it sounds anyway) This is a marvellous fish that looks something like a giant pike… the one the dude caught went about 150 llbs and was reputed by locals to be the reincarnation of a mythic warrior; certainly it was a magnificent beast… He also came very close to seeing the mythical ‘Cobra Granje’ (again spelling is guesswork) which is supposed to be ‘MUCH bigger’ than an anaconda, which of course grows to over 30 metres… Wonder where he’ll be next week? Can’t wait to find out!
🙂
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I skimmed it. Well, looked at the pictures anyway. 🙂
I hate to be the one to tell you, but I think that’s a USB, not a box of Pez. I hope nothing fell out of it in piccie 2.
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Well it was just emphasising the size and technology. Millions of songs on a morceau.
Skimmed? After I put all of those TV personalities in there for you? I would have thought that was right up your street. Or do they have to be waxwork dummies like Toeknee Jones & Stavron Minchinik?
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Nice one Julian London, you are selling yourself short, don’t be shy, this is as good as any PA’s aspirational authors’ writings, not too long, not trying too hard, not trying to prove anything…
When I saw the picture I was not sure at first if it was you or Emmjay; I leave it to you two to take it as an insult or a compliment. 🙂
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I was just acknowledging that Hung has bridged that imaginary divide, between those that perceive a different point of view as being an attitude.
I wanted to give him a tribute by showing that the actual memory stick arrived safely. After all, it was thoughtful of him to go to the trouble of packing it up and posing it.
Actually it went through a middle-man too. ‘A Dealer’!
BTW Hung, I have downloaded it to the hard drive and played a couple. Bad Company bought little tears to the eyes. Music does that.
I put it in the USB socket on the front of my Pioneer tuner/amp, but it wouldn’t play. The format is OK; it’s FAT 32. I phoned Pioneer, but we couldn’t work it out on the phone, so I’ll copy off the HD to something else. I poddy thingees and CD thingees & other stickees.
So it will be a musical weekend, what with Warrigal’s contributions too.
Cheers 😉
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I hope you enjoy it VL
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Waddya reckon Helvi ? Lily or Lara?
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Lily, of course, she’s attractive, nice and smart…and I think she has a sense of humour as well!
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Yes, but what I wondered was, do you think that the secretaries would be wearing ‘Lily fashion’, or ‘Lara fashion’ ?
You see not everything is as it seems, Helvi.
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VL, I did not know you were talking about fashion. Well, Lily is dressed by a fashion house, and most times she looks like a nice secretary. Now, Lara might be well dressed for those Slut Walks.
So , the higher salaried secretaries will choose Lily.
The lesser paid ones, working for suburban real estate agents, most likely feel comfortable in the Lara ‘style’.
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Very astute Helvi 10/10 😉
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