Happy Christmas. ( Take the Black Dog back to the Pound)
December 19, 2011

While Father (Mother) Christmas jingle bells are all around us, spreading sweetness and good cheer, there is never a more opportune period of the year for the black dog’s depression to jump over your fence. The reasons are probably, but not only, that somehow, the December month is a time for expectation totally divorced and away from previous months. This is because of some tradition steeped in history that tells us we ought to feel different, a kind of ‘happiness’ difference.
That this December linked Christmas history is tainted with religious fantasy and fairy tales including a baby born out of wedlock AND from a virgin, animals chewing their cud while breathing over this just born baby in a manger on straw AND inside a cave, plus three kings following a fallen star doesn’t help keeping sanity amongst those with already frayed nerves. If anything, those ridiculous fantasies should have been ditched long ago. No wonder so many feel mentally disheveled when the world relishes in regaling that same sort of nonsense, year in year out.
We have plodded on reasonably well during the previous eleven months but when December comes around, there seeps into one’s conscience, imperceptibly at first, expectations that things will become better or happier, or at least different…It might well be prudent to let skepticism take a seat at the turkey/ ham-loaded Christmas table. What sort of feast is this period supposed to be about? How much is this period a result of unreal expectations, totally divorced from the rest of the year. We sent cards to those we haven’t even seen during the year. The shops are chockers with things we and everybody else already have and our gas bill is six weeks overdue… Do we really think that a high-pressure water cleaner from Bunning’s is an appropriate present for someone? How do you wrap it?
Sure, the children love magic (and presents) but we are adults and supposedly firmly in control. Why, with the shops closed for just one day for Christmas, do we load up with food and hoard larders full as if it is going to be rationed? Do we scurry into bunkers next, has war broken out? Why do we start increasing our speed when walking through the aisles of Big W or Coles? I saw a woman running through the margarine division of Aldi’s today, followed hot on the heels by a screaming toddler. Why? Are there sirens blaring out next? Should the State Emergency crowd be called in and should we all carry crow bars around? What is all that nervousness about? Of course, the black dog will sniff about. They smell our neurosis. Don’t make eye contact with it. Especially don’t stoop down at his level and don’t even think of patting or stroking.
At the bank yesterday there it all was, a perfect opportunity for letting the black dog inside again. The queue was long and as if that wasn’t enough there was a looped tape playing over and over again “Rudolf, the red nosed reindeer”, and, to top it off, “Holy night”. It was bad enough for the customers but imagine the effect on staff? On top of the music, staff had to accept the ignominy of wearing floppy red hats with white tussles for two weeks. It would be almost impossible for anyone to survive that level of idiocy. One would be sorely tempted to invite or adopt a real black dog, especially a kelpie or friendly Border collie.
Of course, there are those who, having been dealt a rough card in life, do feel this silly period more keenly than others. It’s not helpful that society is so focused on success and that failures are so often put at the feet of those unfortunate souls that haven’t followed societies ideals of ‘individual responsibility’ and’ individual efforts’ without realizing that not everyone dances to the same beat of the drum. There are those who feel that the beat of our drum is too monotonous and boring, they reject societies notions of being successful.
Perhaps, if we really want to spread Christmas cheer we could do a bit better in the gift box of tolerance and acceptance. There are those that missed out on the luck or opportunity for personal success or finding happiness and reasonable contentedness. Perhaps there were other variances that caused their lives not to turn out as well as they anticipated when young. Those plagued with mental illness have been dealt the roughest card of all to deal with. The black dog amongst those unfortunate people often roams around sniffing and snarling at the heels and will take every opportunity to attack.
So, while slicing the turkey or ham, opening the chardonnay, spare a thought for those battling with ‘black dog’. Help them, and take the black mongrel back to the pound.
Tags: Black dog, Bunning, Christmas
Posted in Gerard Oosterman | Edit |
That was a quick visit, Sandshoe.
Please do come over more often, and spend some more ‘quality’ time with us 🙂
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Gerard, I do stock up a little more than usual and I get this done at least a whole week before Christmas. I do this so I do not have to venture into town the week after Christmas – I avoid it till at least the 3 January. It is just too too busy and insane. The fish monger closes till the 12 January so the freezer has frozen raw prawns and scallops to see me through the seafood drought.
Last year I wrote about our Christmas and it will be the same again this year.
Peace and happiness to all at the Pigs Arms.
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Take a valium.
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To addictive me Lud
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Milo only knows black ducks and water hens. He is the killer of their Christmas Joy. Whenever we take him for a walk and venture anywhere near the little river near us, Milo turns into a killer. Just now we went along the water’s edge where mother ducks have got their little ducklings safely tucked away amongst the reeds and willow trees, but Milo would have to sniff them out, disturb their Christmas.
We have him on a lead but he hurls himself so much forward and with so much force, he catapults into the sky, does a somersault and then ends up upside down looking stupid. He doesn’t learn to love ducks and will never change. We have thought of a punishment, but what can one do? Perhaps giving him chicken necks is pedagogically not very wise and perhaps we ought to think of getting him bones from animals without feathers. Better still, bones from deceased Jack Russells, that might give him a hint of what happens to duck killers. . .
Yet, walking around the shops, people ask “do you mind if we pat your dog?” He gets patted and looks sweetly. Little do people know how he behaves with ducks, just as well!
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My black dog has gone away. I’m sure he will come back but while he is gone I can rejoice. I know how to look for him now, one day at a time. I saw Hung the other day, he is handsome, he is pretty happy but he works too much and is earning a fortune. Tutu is calling in on Xmas day for dinner, she really is lovely, life goes on regardless.
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Yes, give Tutu my love and the black dog a stern rebuke or even a kick.
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Good to hear, Hung One On.
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Good to hear Hung, chase that bugger away. Give us a call if you need to.
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Or tell it to watch repeats of Division 4.
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Thanks to all. I am doing really well at the moment. Hope I haven’t been too awful
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Yo, Hung.
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Hey thanks shoe but where are you?
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Morning Gez, and patrons de la maison de porc.
For a supposedly joyous celebration of the arrival of Baby Jesus, CHristmas sure stirs up the angst. Over at Crikey, First Dog dropped a big rant cartoon that caused one Doggonaut to ask whether First Dog was feeling OK .
I wrote him a poem:
It Gets me Too – I feel Like You
Doggy,
When in past years Christ’s time had come
I’d prepare myself by feeling glum
Dad’d get pissed and beat up Mum
The drummer boy thumped out
Rum pah pah pum
But I console myself today
In knowing Xmas soon goes away
Enjoy the beach on a peppermint bay
Soak up the sun
Hip Hip Hooray.
Now I find myself in another place
Listen to the start of that boat race
Hope the Boxing Day test is ace
Try my best – don’t get off my face.
And if all that stuff drops me in a muddle
First Mate can fix it with a special cuddle.
DRMICK replied……
You wrote that like I was your brudda MJ. Beautiful.
I`ll just go and get a steak for that eye mum.
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Nice poem, Emmjay.
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