Story by Astyages

Well, ah’ll goa to’t foot of ower stairs…

It’s no wonder I’m a technophobe! I had a lot of photos to go with this story, which would have proven beyond doubt that my octogenarian mum and her new gentle-man-friend, Terry are certainly much younger than their years. As I said to ’em both, “You both look like you’ve at least another forty years ahead of you!” Unfortunately all said photos were lost in my attempt to download ’em to my pc… Assuming (fatally!) that I knew what I was doing, and that the pix would simply download straight to my default ‘pictures’ folder, when the camera program asked me if I wanted to ‘delete files after import’, thinking this would simply delete the files on my camera and leave the downloaded files in my default ‘pictures’ folder, I hit the ‘yes’ button!

As it turned out they just disappeared… not just off my camera and my pc, but to all intents and purposes, off the face of the planet entirely, apparently! Thinking they must still be somewhere on my computer I’ve spent the last couple of hours looking for them, but in vain… so you’ll just have to take my word for it!

Oh well! I won’t do that again! (I hope!)

Mum and Terry arrived from the Manchester, via the Gold Coast, where Terry had been visiting his daughter, and Melbourne, last Wednesday and I went to meet them at the airport. I drove around the airport three times looking for a ‘handicapped’ parking space which was supposed to be right in front of the terminal before I finally discovered that one had to go through the normal car park to reach it… and of course, to take a ticket and pay for it!

My first impression of Terry is that he is remarkably fit and agile for his 76 years. This he puts down to a lifetime of sporting interest and achievement… wish I’d taken more notice of his surname… I want to google it to see if he’s famous at all… Maybe later… I drove them to the Paradise hotel, less than 200 meters up the road from my country estate. They decided to take a ‘siesta’ and invited me to join them for tea in the restaurant, establishing a pattern which would only be broken once during their week-long sojourn in our state. After a very nice tea we all adjourned to my place to watch ‘Moby Dick’… the ‘original’ version starring Gregory Peck and Richard Baseheart.

The next day, Thursday, I drove them out to Glenelg, with a short stop at Henley Beach, where we actually managed to walk along the short jetty. Intending to have tea in Glenelg at the HMS Buffalo, I was dismayed to discover it had disappeared! Someone had swiped the ship! By this time my legs and back were playing up badly, so we drove back to the Paradise, where Terry and Mum (her name is really ‘Sarah-Anne’, but she always goes by the name of ‘Sheila’) went for their usual siesta while I went home to rest up until tea-time.

On Friday Mum insisted on taking me shopping to buy some new bedding and would brook no refusal, so I now have some nice new bedding… and more old bedding than you could poke a stick at! Later, while we were having tea at their hotel, she showed me the ring Terry had bought for her – and which she’s wearing! – which is to be hers “… if she says ‘yes’!” according to Terry: A large, heart-shaped pink sapphire, surrounded by small diamonds on a gold band, also surrounded with small diamonds. I told Terry that he certainly could not have phrased his question more appropriately and that Mum had already ‘had the nod’ from me, not that it was ever needed! But she’s still keeping him hanging on a string, saying that she’s ‘had enough wedding cake to last her a lifetime!’ and refers to Terry as her ‘toy-boy’ because he is six years her junior… (She tells me he and his family are ‘rolling in dough’… Terry apparently has no shortage of money, and his daughter is a banker.)

Next day I drove them into town, where I discovered a ‘handicapped’ parking space right in the middle of Rundle Mall (ie. In ‘Gawler Place’ right next to the mall), but this still left us with a considerable walk to the Museum on North Terrace (it would have been a mere trifle and certainly far from a ‘considerable’ walk when I had good legs though!) where, after I had done as much of the ‘tour-guide’ bit as I could possibly manage, I spent much time in a chair staring at the allosaurus while they walked around the rest of the museum. Terry was particularly impressed, after having just watched ‘Moby Dick’ by the size of the sperm whale skeleton… and both were fascinated by the aboriginal exhibits on the ground floor. Sadly though, my legs and back were demanding that we go back home so I could sit in my chair with my feet up, so that was it… time for siesta! Walking back through the mall, we took some moments to observe the buskers who were there to take advantage of the Fringe Festival. Today’s 21st century busker not only plays music in public, he sells his own home-made CDs as well, using his mall performance as advertising. The ones we saw seemed to be doing very well! However, I noticed the importance to these acts of portable amplification systems…

By the time we’d had tea that evening, Mum and Terry had noticed how obviously difficult it was for me to do so much walking, so they said that the next day, Sunday, they would give me a ‘day off’; they planned to return to Rundle Mall and do a bit more exploring on their own…

Monday was still really hot, and I was still stiff as a board and unable to do much walking at all, so I took them for a drive around the Barrossa Valley, and the scenery was beautiful, so they both enjoyed it, although we stopped only once and that very briefly at Strathalbyn for an ice-cream… then back to the Paradise for the usual siesta, and tea, then back to my place to watch several episodes of Mum’s favorite comedy, which Terry, mercifully, also enjoys, ‘Only Fools and Horses’…

Tuesday was a bit cooler, but I was still feeling the cumulative effects of all my exertions so we drove down to Victor Harbor, where I wanted to show them one of my erstwhile favorite fishing spots, the Bluff. Apparently they’ve now built an inn just at the end of the approach road to this popular spot, called the ‘Whalers’ Inn’ and I explained how Victor was originally a whaling town. Then it was back to Paradise for a short siesta then tea and more ‘Only Fools and Horses’… Why my mum didn’t take the opportunity to watch any of the excellent movies I have in my collection is beyond me… another interest Terry and I seem to have in common is an interest in history, but Mum’s eyes glaze over at the very word!

Wednesday morning they insisted they did not need me to drive them to the airport for their early morning flight. Mum insisted that she didn’t want me to get up at 5.30 am and said they could get the bus to the airport, having discovered that the local 174 bus goes right to the terminal. I received a phone call yesterday arvo to let me know they’d arrived safely at the Gold Coast… next stop Singapore and then on home to the UK…

Terry’s already planning a return trip in a couple of years; in the meantime he’s taking her to Rome and Mexico. I must say that Terry strikes me as a very determined man, and I hope that Mum eventually accedes to his wish to ‘tie the knot’…

🙂