Story by Hung One On, Cartoonery Mischief by Warrigal Mirriyuula
Hi. Sandy here. You now Father O’Way from the parish of St Generic Brand. I have just got Shappy out of jail and rescued Greece from the Eurozone and now the Bish, you know Bishop Bishop, wants me to do the same for Julian Arse Sarge, from Wikileaks, whatever the zark that is.
“Get Julian out of trouble or you are fired” arcs up the Bish.
“But hey Bish, leeks are something you put in soup?” I ask knowing I will get hammered.
“No you ninny, leaks as is letting things slip” retorts the Bish rather viscously.
“So he is incontinent?” I reply is my most nonchalant parish priest voice.
“Look, I don’t care what continent he is on Sandy, just find him and save him or else” barks the Bish.
Oh for zark sake. Is the Bish a full time wanker, I think so.
Anyway, I do a bit of homework and I find out that Julian is living on the Bold Coast, which is in Australia some where. Julian is pretending to be a conservative business man running a business and whingeing at every opportunity to bag the government. I have been told that he has an alias called Feat Slipper.
I travel to this Bold Coast to try and find this Julian character. I enter the bordello called “The Slip Inn” and am ushered into a room to meet the owner. A man is sitting at computer and is listening to some old Yes albums. Drugged out hippy no doubt.
“So Julian, the CIA are after you along with the FBI, MI5, AISO and the AFP, but which is the best Yes album?” I cut to the chase.
“Fragile Sandy” Julian replies “but could you have potato soup without leeks?” asks Julian.
“No. Not on mate, but I was told it was leaks as in you are incontinent?” I ask rather innocently.
“Piss off, gerrit!!!!” Julian asserts.
“No, not really. But Julian you are leaking all over the place, surely you have some sort of plan?” I ask.
“Zarking oaf Sandy. My aim is to take over the Pigsarms. Total world domination follows. Control the Pigsarms and you control the world.”
Sad, but true.