The plight of a Camellia hater.
August 28, 2013
We all know that as a general rule, nature is just about perfect. I tend to go along with the notion that the more I get to know about mankind the more I tend to look at the growing grass for salvation and nurture. I like nature and dislike wars and camellias. Oops…sorry, but camellias I did remove from my list of nature some years ago when I discovered to my horror the people who associate intimately with camellias.
I always had a feeling of unease when walking past heaps of brown rotting flowers littering the concrete footpaths along stretches of my first Australian taste of suburbs. I finally mustered up enough will, courage and asked what those flowers were. Camellias was the answer.
Many know that I often touch upon my personal blight of having lived in a suburb. It dates back to my teen years of isolation many decades ago after arrival from Holland. I narrowly escaped by moving into a room in the inner city area of Paddington. What a relief, finally understanding there was life after all. This all happened some years before the most fortuitous event of them all, even outdoing my escape from Australian suburb, meeting up in Europe with my future wife from Finland. Camellias have come, gone and rotted but we are still together all those years.
I hope I don’t tread on the toes of lovers of Australian suburbs nor on camellia fans. I understand that having a back yard for the kiddies is important. I fully understand and acknowledge that this is as ingrained in our national psyche as prawns on the barbeque with frozen peas. However, does that have to include growing camellias as well?
My dad used to shake his head in amazement when the neighbours’ camellias used to shed their flowers in our garden. It was good mulch. He also detested those flowers. So maybe my aversion is genetic based rather than just personal prejudice. It is all so complicated and one spends a lifetime trying to figure out other peoples foibles instead of trying to sort out own problems and silly idiosyncrasies.
Let me confess at least (before my time is up) to admitting my camellia phobia is illogical and very limiting in experiencing more joys than just relying on growing grass for sustenance. Perhaps a good psychiatrist or reading Emmanuel Kant might throw light on this camellia phobia of mine. He did say:
He who is cruel to camellias becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of camellias.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/i/immanuelka390204.html#EFzSyyoRLeYw2Poo.99
Who really cares?
They look so plastic. Those shiny leaves? I know of no other plant that so readily takes to looking artificial. In my suburb of before mentioned sad teen years, a neighbour higher up, belonged to a camellia society. He also was forever mowing his lawn with one of the first Victa’s lawnmower that used to never start except when he got close to going berserk in his backyard. He used branches of his beloved camellias to thrash his Victa lawnmower into submission. I used to watch his lawn mowing efforts through our venetian blinds. It is perhaps now easier to understand for you readers how low I had sunk in my spiritual suburb dehydration.
If there is one thing that I still have a burning ambition for, is; please never leave plastic flowers on my headstone nor any camellia, even within my very limited sight.
Thank you.
Tags: Camellia, E.Kant, Finland, Holland, Paddington, Prawns, Victa lawnmower.
Posted in Gerard Oosterman
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
This is from Nick Cave’s ‘Murder Ballads’ album. I know that some people don’t know what to make of the lyrics in this album but the best way to understand them is to read Jim Thompson’s 1964 novel ‘Pop. 1280’, first. Or, you can watch the movie, Coup de Torchon – a 1981 French film adaptation of Jim Thompson’s novel, directed by Bertrand Tavernier. With Philippe Noiret, Isabelle Huppert, Stéphane Audran, Jean-Pierre Marielle. The film changes the novel’s setting from a West Texas oil boom town to a small town in French West Africa. But Thompson’s unique existential vision of the human psyche remains the same. And this brings us back to Nick Cave. …He is a great artist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__obh4w6tD8
LikeLike
Thank you hph, Nick Cave is indeed a great artist, love this one,not even Kylie can spoil it for me…I like it when he sings Leonard Cohen songs…love them both…
LikeLike
I have long felt much the same Gerard. Almost to the exact words of your piece.
LikeLike
So have I, Vivienne. My mother had camellias in her garden, and roses too. I used to go there to help her and clean up the garden after she was no longer able to do so. The fallen camellia flowers, dried out by the heat, used to remind me of seasoned cow-poo. And, roses?…I cursed a lot while pruning the roses. 🙂
LikeLike
I will pop in here. Delightful article. I do not like camellias. I detest rose bushes. I have established even more of a detestation since I have discovered how susceptible they can be to disease conditions that attract people to them who want to use chemicals and worst of, that infernal poisonous material people sprinkle on the gardens to force their roses to flower profusely. pouring it into the soil.
Gez has made me chuckle with the article about his…clears throat discretely…camellia problem. Well done, Gez. 🙂
LikeLike
Ah, glyphosate or glysophate, wonderful at times.(with residual qualities) I remember the serrated tussocks. I doubt they remember me. Yes, it is strange about some plants. Camellias grow flowers that brown before opening. They don’t want to be here, I think.
Howeber, I like Hydrangeas. My dad like them so, again, things always date back to childhood. Geez , something needs some watering down again, I’ll have to go now!
LikeLike
Had hydies at North Balwyn home – they were lovely and tough too. Nearly everyone of the street had them. We also had a magnificent bottle brush in the front. No-one had the current fad for white standard bloody roses, all in neat rows. Trees and bushes for native flowers and native birds are the best. Never seen a bird hanging around a camellia bush. Have I ever mentioned that I now have 49 different birds which either live on our property or are regular visitors. We have about 30 generations of magpies, willy wagtails and blue wrens in particular. We did originally have red robins but they don’t seem to like houses and people and buggered off down the lane to an empty large 100 acre paddock.
LikeLike
Yes, I don’t mind a wild rose somewhere hidden between weeds but in a row equally spaced apart…yuk. still, many people love roses. I knew a rose lover once and she was very nice. 🙂
LikeLike
I’m feel the same way about hydrangeas, they always remind me of dank, old houses. Not sure why. There were a few in our garden, when we first bought the house, but, some glyphosate ‘accidentally’ went their way, and they went the way of Morticia!
LikeLike