Merv serving some glass canoes

Merv serving some glass canoes


“Gordon fucking O’Donnell ” cries Merv “I have to be responsible for you piss heads”. “Re spon a la  billy tea for all of you, RSASDFGTREY, get it, [Any one not covered see Emmjay.] Oh, for fuck sake”

“Merv, not so much swearing pleas” crows Yvonne.

“Another glass canoe” interjects Foodge.

“Did you say pleas?” presses Merv.

“No” replies Foodge “do I have to say pleas?”.

“Yep” says Merv “and pleas and fank ewe”

“Fank ewe for fucking what and some dots like this … just to make it a bit spooky” says a nameless character that won’t exist next paragraph, probably Emmjay.

“I have to swerve you reprehensibility okay, dot, dot dot” says Merv, doing his best to get the word count up. Grrrr.

“Wheeze a bunch of piss heads, tod, tod tod” says Gib W.

“That’s not dot dot dot” interjects Gerard trying to keep a straight face.

“I agree with Merv, from now on no more swearing or cussing unless we fucking feel like it” inserts Angler On, as you do.

“Yea…dot dot dot” cry the patrons.

“Now, how many drinks has everyone had?” enquires Merv.

[Sorry: Service is down due to abnormally high numbers coming in form the enquiry.]

“It’s the gubbermint that is putting down the working classes…dot dot dot”  says HOO

“Shithouse service and dot dot dot. Next you’ll work for channel mime, dot dot, dot.” informs Nurse Barbara as she lights here fag and sips her pint, may as well slap arse on the way…, all good.

“Are you responsible bunch of pissheads?” says Merv.

“Yea…dot dot, dot dot” says the patrons.

“Well that’s all right then. RSA over, situation normal, well sort of” adds Merv.