By hph and Mark

(ring ring)
..
(ring ring)
…
(ring.. Mark answers the phone)

Mark: “Yeah who duck is this?’

Hph: “It’s me hph..”

Mark: “What the duck do you want?”

Hph: “Mark, I need your help. You gotta help me!”

Mark: “Yeah! What the duck did you do this time you duckhead?”

Hph; “Mark, I’m in the shit!”

Mark: “You’re always in shit you shithead”

Hph: “No Mark, this time I’m in the REAL shit.”

Mark: “Real or not you’re always in shit.”

Hph: “Mark listen to me… I am in a tank full of real shit”

Mark: “Get the duck outta here.”

Hph: “That’s what I’m trying to do Mark help me”

******

Duck McDuck here. These are the kinda calls wheeze get at Duck Central, day in day out.

The Mark guy is a fictitious being somehow connected to Gordon, the creator of the Universe.

Me, I believe in jack shit so Gordon sounds fine.

 

******

Here’s some more of the conversation,

Mark: “Yes I can help you, for sure, just sign here.”

Hph: “Hey Mark, why have you put my last name as Sauce?”

Mark: “Well, Hph, I hadda put somefink, ewe no, HPH Sauce, hmm.”

Hph: “What about Loronzo or Emmintal?”

Mark: “Oh for Gordon’s sake, lets see what happens in the next bit of the story.”

******

Yes, I’m back, Duck McDuck. So did you learn anything from that exchange? Nah, me neither.

In my role as private investigator I get to see many things. This is some of the things I had to witness,

 

 

 

 

 

Yes shocking I know.

Back to the interrogation,

Hph: “Well, I’d like to be called Bill Smith.”

Mark: “WFT, er TFW, nah, FWT, hang on, I’ll get it in a minute, WTF?”

Hph: “Yes, that was my uncles second cousins aunt’s maiden name, middle name Gloria but I just want to be called John Citizen.”

Mark: “Um, yes. What happened to Bill Smith?”

Hph: “Who?”

*******

Hmm. And so it goes.