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Hey, Merv here, sip and relax, forever...

Hey, Merv here, sip and relax, forever…

The Real Merv.

Merv has recoiled from the last episode and is actually a bit pissed off at the writer that lead him naked down an alley way so to speak.

As the author, I am only able to type for short periods of time, given the beating Merv, my new pal, gave me. Boy did I learn a lesson. Pity I can’t remember it, oh well.

Merv now presents himself with pressed white silk shirt, black trousers and immaculate hair, black shoes. Clean filed short nails and all nasal hair clipped, number one honcho. Forward to side by side, you know in the trenches, side by side, oh yes, so that you could push him in front of the bullets, yeah, what a guy.

This new bouffant behavior at the bar was causing a bit of a stir among the patrons.

Nurse Barbara and Sister Yvonne were chatting in a lowered tone.

“Next they’ll want lippy and eyeliner” says Nurse Barbara.

“No way, it’s too ex-pensive” grins Sister Yvonne.

“Is that really ex-pensive with a shitload of ex-pensive on top of that?”

“That’s the one. Would you like to go down to the shop?”

“Er, nuh,we did that one.”

Meanwhile Gib and Angler are totally unperturbed about this new style by Merv. Just keep the beers coming and all is good. Aren’t us blokes simple.

They have their shotguns straddled across the bar. O’Nwee’s from Iunne of course, cleaning this, comparing that.

“Hey, see Merv has turned himself into a purse carrying Nancy boy.” remarks Gib as he examines the trade mark on the O’Nwee shot gun Maid in Iunne by O’Nwee it says. True class thinks Gib.

Angler stares at his beer. Remember Totters Ale can have a strange effect on folk. “Given the Earth is close to other celestial bodies I think it is inevitable that Merv’s new affliction could be placed on a bell curve distribution however subtropical rain forests are the best.”

“Whoa there fella” cries Gib “Merv, two more and I’m having what he’s having”

Merv pours two more Specials for the boys. “Hey fellas, can we have it on record that I’m dressed in this episode?”

Roars of laughter and wolf whistles rain on supreme.

“I’ll take that as a yes then” groans Merv.

The light dims just like in the movies. Granny comes and embraces Merv. That hug and the electricity between them is so strong that they would have had a rebate if fed into the grid. They feel each others breath, hot, strong and deep. “Your bewtiful” says Granny.

“Ewe is bewtiful two” muffles Merv

[Hung here. Hey if there’s a sex scene here I’m out, it’s explicit in my contract, no sex scenes.

Okay Mark here, I’ll take over]

They caress. Casually and at first lip to lip then with their hands they feel each others faces, identifying the inner being in each, then running their hands upon each other, kissing deeply, so special, so personal, so loving, two soul mates merging.

Merv feels Granny’s curvaceous bosom as she holds him in, not to let go, she has her man, will he respond?

The tension builds as they kiss deeply, passionately and all those other words that end in ly and ing. The longing and the wanting all here tonight, yes this could be it. Is there someone special in my arms tonight?

GRanny ascends into heaven...

Granny ascends into heaven…