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Merv and a New Guest
The night had passed and Merv woke to the smell of coffee and bacon. Oh last night, what a night to remember. The passion, the coming together of two spirits. There is something special about the bonding and relaxation of your partner, smoothing and calming then sleep, deep, deep sleep then the snoring. Oh well.
Granny enters with Merv’s 14 pieces of bacon and some scrambled egg and now a mug for his coffee.
They kiss lightly at first, then deeply honouring each others soul and commitment from the night before. The feeling was intense between them. More powerful than a locomotive. Merv gently caresses Granny’s generous bosom and she smiles “Yes tonight my sweetheart. Now in the mean time get the fark up and get down the bar, a guest has arrived.”
Don’t you just hate that, just at the good bit, you know, rumpy pumpy and the author changes tack, and I hate early mornings, thinks Merv, surely 11 or 12 O’Clock is okay?
Merv enters the bar after his liaison with Granny.
“Ladies and Gentlemen and piglets and even yo O’Hoo I would like to introduce a new guest at the Arms, Hon Shades” announces Merv.
Applause all round from the crew, even O’Hoo.
“My name is Hon”
For she’s a jolly good fellow, for she’s a jolly good fellow
For she’s a jolly good fellow and so say all of us
Beers all round. Roar the crew.
“Hon Shades”
For she’s a jolly good fellow, for she’s a jolly good fellow
For she’s a jolly good fellow and no one can deny.
Beers all round. The bar has gone viral.
“I like poetry, music art and writing short stories”
For she’s a jolly good fellow, for she’s a jolly good fellow
For she’s a jolly good fellow and so say all of us
Beers all round.
Can any one else see a trend developing? I can and I’m the author.
“Where are you from Hon?” askes Merv.
“I’m from Mount FarFarAway”
“Is that close to here?
“Yes, well, it’s down the road and around the corner.”
***
Merv and Granny have settled into Heaven, the name they give the flat above the pub.
“Granny, my doctor has recommended that I do some deep breathing tonight, can you help me?”
“Hum, yep, I think I might”
“Why do my two minute noodles take three minutes to cook?” think speaks Merv.
“Just a mystery of the universe, ask Gordon, he’ll know, anyway shut up and start kissing you big lug!!”
So now we know what the happy (for now) couple look like. They look curiously like a couple of characters I’ve seen on mugs. Kinda mugs on mugs, when you think about it a bit.
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They do look like another couple I know. 🙂
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Unusual to see a mug under a hat that big.
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I can relate to the 15 pieces of bacon at the moment
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There’s nothing like travel to broaden one’s capacity to eat an enormous amount for breakfast!
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Ain’t thar the truth big. One eats two vitaweets a a couple of slices of toast with a cup of tea for breakfast. Now I find myself eating a four course breakfast.
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It’s getting far too conventional to my mind.
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A go at romcom
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Sister O’Hoo, your last story put my world upside, but this, by rights should put it upside down again, which would make it right side up, but it feels all wrong, Granny ‘n’ Merv?
Perhaps the earth really is flat?
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I really have no idea what you are talking about so thank you as that means you understood what I wasn’t talking about.
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There was a…thanks for….what?
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Have a go at telling me as I don’t know! Oh eyes forgot, wheeze mastered buffoonery, big time.
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Is Merv better as a mug?
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Could this be encoded into Pigs Law? Championed by Foodge.
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Well, fuck (I can say whatever I like, Foodge, no, fuck is a word used in common parlance. Common…I’ll give you fucking common), have a go at eyes..for…what?
Yes, I can see Merv as one of those Toby mugs. Tried tyo copy and paste one, but mum, I mean, Firefox won’t let me!
Foodge isn’t talking to me since I used the f-word, so this probably won’t get into Pig Law.
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Foodge might even write up a fucking chapter on it in his revision of the Big Common and Uncommon (Every) Thinking Person’s Pig Law Book?
That’d be a fucking honour.
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