Tags
Belinda, Gordon O’Donnell, Hung One On, janowrite, Mark, Merv, Mother O'Way, Mrs O'Way, Sister Yvonne
“I’ve had enough of this shit” roars Mrs O’Way, whose first name is Belinda by the way. Belinda is the the little sister of Glenda from Glenda’s Pain and Torture Clinic, just down the road and around the corner from the Pigs Arms. “The Fictional Characters Union has just amalgamated with the Characters Fictional Union to become the FUCU(Fictional Union of Characters United) and we’ve become the laughing stock as now everyone is referring to us as fuck you.”
“Merv, pour me a double South Sea Island Blue Label and are you fictional or real?” she demands.
“I think I’m real, no hang on a minute, that’s right I’m fictional but a union member of FUCU” replies Merv.
“So fuck you” says Mrs O’Way.
“ Hello, look author here. I’m not into this swearing stuff so please close your eyes when you are reading some rude words. Anyway kiddies may be watching.” says Mark from the commentary box.
“So hands up, who here is real?” demands Mrs O’Way. A limp response is recorded. “What about fictional?” same sort of reply.
“Are there any cats here we can shoot?” asks Algernon.
“Hope so” replies Big M. “Anyone seen Mother O’Way?”
“STFU Big, do you want Gordon to zap our brains out?” cries Algernon.
“What brains would that be?” Big M replies. Good point thinks Algernon.
“Look I used to be real till I came across the Pigs Arms” says Sister Yvonne.
#Metoo say the girls, oh boy, I can see a movement happening.
“Now, now, lets just all keep this in Perspex” says janowrite out of left field.
“Drinks on the house” says Merv trying to avoid a disaster, “did you mean perspective jano?”
“Probably but a South Seas Blue Label will do me” janowrite struggles at this point to attempt to see what’s happening in this story but you are in it now, bad stinking luck, just ask Sister Yvonne.
“Where’s my Sandy” cries Mrs O’Way, oops I mean Belinda.
“Well sorry love but he’s down at the dress shop”
“You’re not allowed to say that Merv otherwise Gordon will zap our brains out, hey there’s a cat” says Algernon in a timely fashion as only he can do.
Big M and Algernon open fire with their shotguns and unfortunately after open heart surgery the cat dies. Snigger, snigger. Oh well, that’s how it goes, snigger, snigger.
Mrs O’Way, oops, sorry, Belinda, belts the boys around the head with an umbrella.
“Where did that come from Belinda?”
“Out of the props section, they have lots of things in there, even dildos”
“Yeah I can see a #catkiller movement starting as well, lucky I’m smart” says someone unnamed form the FUCU. Is that you Hung?
“Not me, I’d never say something rude or smart, I’m a nurse you know and us nurses never are rude or swear or are smart aren’t we.”
I’m glad that wasn’t Schrodinger’s cat…no one seems to know whether or not he’s alive or dead.
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BOOM!
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Excellent!
I see the pub has had a makeover.
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Yeah, better than the old one. 🙂
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Yes, very rural.
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How we gunner point to the Manse over the other side of the road at the back opposite the car park. Youse can see for yourselves that is a classic desert like scheesch, that’s a stop on the Nullabor. Nuthin for miles. Anyway we can’t fight about what the pub looks like. Not so soon after entering into a solemn pack, eh.
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Nurse Barbara is confused.
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Sandy and Belinda got married when they were on their space adventure back in the days of the Father O’Way chronicles. Looks like Sandy is having a midlife crisis and I’m sure he will return to normal when the medication wears off. Gives us writers new plot lines.
Hope that helps.
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That helps a bit. I’m not good with names. But I’m enjoying it none the less.
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Oh, I thought that was “midwife” crisis. But that would be an entirely different story, wouldn’t it?
Speaking of stories, you know just how to stroke my ego, don’t you, you naughty boy. You found a recent, flattering photo of me to finish the story, but labelled it with the wrong name. Silly b*ggar.
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I’m convinced you and me and Big M couldn’t keep a secret if it bit us on the bum, Hung. It’s no fun if we don’t tell though (I say).
(Blurts out)Us author peeps have been talking off camera. We’re thinking we ought to get serious and collude.
Don’t know if that came out right. Makes us sound as if we’re sitting round in petrie dishes thinking we are colloidal. Idiot.
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The last time I colluded I got crabs.
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Didn’t I warn you, over and over, about colluding?
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So, a threeway is out of the question?
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What I don’t now won’t hurt me!
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These characters are starting to really pile up. We ought to have a stock take. We could sell any duplicate cats that are left over.
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Sorry I left Glenda off that list. 🙂
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Trust me I’m a nurse, never fails…
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