Story from Fantasy Land by our Cub Reporter Boo-boo Bear.

High school lovers, Chuck Windsor and Di sorry Cilla managed to land non-speaking walk-on parts in this year’s block busting Anglican drama “The King and I So Swear”

The couple played a pair of star crossed polo ponies whipped up in a sexually charged rite of spring

It has been said by some commentators that Chuck and his missus looked like they’d outrun their meds and that crowning it up with $Gazillions in pearls, diamonds (like ENORMOUS hunks of crystalline carbon, rubies, sapphires gold and more gold- sat uncomfortably with the peasants having to choose between heating or food, food or medicines, medicines or heating.

But hey, If you’ve ponied up for a $4 million coach and horses, you’d be a mug if you didn’t use this to get from A to A+ at least twice.

But for me, the most cheesy bit was Bill pledging allegiance to his Dad. Like he could hardly wait for the old badger to fall off the perch. And Chuck and Cilla looked like they’d be lucky to survive to make it to the after party.

The whole thing – or even just the bits I saw were just plain weird. Weird. As pointless as a hip pocket in a singlet. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

And who was that woman with the sword who was wandering around looking like an armed Greek Airlines hostess ? Was it like she showed up at the wrong panto but nobody had the heart to drag her off stage ?

How cone the whole show was run by the Anglicans ? Was it because they owned the venue and it was a package deal ? Maybe this is one of the many mysteries – kind of like Lionel Ritchie and the screened off anointing with vegan olive oil – maybe that was the reason for the Greek Hostie.

All up – was it a success ? Hard to say- it was in brilliant colour unlike the last one, but there was no colour or passion on the faces of any of the headline actors. – Nobody was calling for an encore. – probably too much prostate pressure to permit hanging around.