Research Update

As many of our astute readers know, the Pig’s Arms research unit at the University of Enmore does cutting edge work on the mechanics of running a robber baron economy.

In the interests of helping out a Reserve Bank that’s clearly desperately trying to justify maintaining crippling interest rates, our research team went out into the field and exposed our credit cards to see what kind of by-catch our nets would dredge up.

Preliminary Findings

The taxi from the Enmore Institute to Sydney’s airport advertised a fixed price of $27 and three bits. But what showed up on the Slavecard statement was $28 and two bits. No tap and go here. They sting you later after your plane to Dubbo has taken off.

A tiny coffee and two bits of raisin toast was advertised at $10 with no added charm from the barista. But at the till the price inflated to $10.65.

Now the usual bullsh1t is adding the charge the merchant will have to pay the Slavecard people. Well, our researchers found that for a Slavecard, this would be 1.65% – or on a ten buck coffee plus toast transaction this would add 17c.

Do you see where we’re going with this ?

Somewhere along the line, Mrs Paddock is pocketing a quiet clip of nearly half a percent, or as our banking friends (and I use the term loosely) like to say, fifty basis points.

Now since Covid quietly strangled cash in the retail zone, the Slavecard people and merchants have apparently turned taking advantage of our trusting fiduciary indifference into an art form. OK, it’s a lot harder for merchants to accidentally forget to pay tax on cash transaction income when there is no cash, We get that.

But Enmore Institute research clearly shows that the banks and real estate agents are not the only thieving bastards driving up inflation.

Reserve Bank Governors take notice.