• The Pig’s Arms
  • About
  • The Dump

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

~ The Home Pub of the Famous Pink Drinks and Trotter's Ale

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

Category Archives: Astyages

Pig’s Arms Bumper Christmas Late Final Edition – Christmas at Hell Hospital: Episode 6

27 Sunday Dec 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Hell Hospital

≈ 23 Comments

Santa, reminiscent of Cook County Hospital 1909.... there's a motivation to get better....

By Theseustoo

(Disclaimer: this series of stories is completely fictional and none of the persons, places or institutions in these stories are real, but figments of my own imagination. Any similarity to any real person, place or institution is entirely coincidental.)

Christmas was the most cheerful day of the year at Hell Hospital; or so it seemed on the surface. The cheery smiles, however, often hid severe stresses and tensions which, though always present in the medical profession, were always worse at this time of year… along with the number and severity of road trauma cases. Even so, whatever trauma cases came into the hospital were all greeted with a cheery smile and a hearty, if ironic, “Merry Christmas!” from every staff-member who had anything to do with them; no matter how horrific their injuries.

For some patients, admitted in a semi-conscious, drug-and/or-pain-induced delirium, this was almost enough to put them in the psychiatric ward; all the more so when the staff members wore reindeer antlers, or conical little red hats trimmed with white ‘fur’, or long white wigs and obviously fake ‘Santa’ beards. But it was generally felt that not to make an effort to ‘keep the spirit of Christmas’ would be far too depressing and would lead to patients feeling left out or deprived; especially in the Children’s ward. Everyone, they felt, must make an effort to at least appear cheerful, and for their part, the patients appreciated the effort and responded in kind, by trying to maintain a cheerful front themselves.

In the children’s ward, however, the happiness and good cheer brought by fake ‘Santas’, elves and ‘reindeer’, as well as clowns and fairies (of the gossamer-winged variety) was real enough, in spite of the kiddies’ often heartbreaking illnesses or injuries.

Paula, dressed in a red Santa suit, with a large pillow stuffed under it and wearing a full, fake white beard, was entertaining the kiddies on her electronic organ with all the Christmas songs in her repertoire. “May your days be merryyyyy and briiiiiiiight… And may all your Chrisssst-masses be whiiiiiiiite!” she sang with great feeling, drawing her set to a close by wringing as much emotion as possible out of the final lines of the old Bing Crosby Christmas classic. As the song drew to a close a little girl about seven years of age, who had been listening, completely enthralled, to Paula’s beautiful contralto voice, sighed and with a wistful expression on her pretty, youthful face, and said, “I wish I could have a white Christmas! It would be so wonderful to see real snow!”

It was heartbreaking, thought Paula, who knew that this particular little girl was dying of leukemia; she had consistently failed to respond to chemo-therapy and the nurses all knew that this would be her last Christmas… Paula didn’t know what to say, but knew she had to say something; after all, she was Santa, wasn’t she? She walked over to the little girl’s bed and, gently stroking the blond curls back from her forehead, said, “Well now… that’s a tall order, Emily; no-one can control the weather you know… and this is Australia… But we’ll see what Santa can do, okay?”

***** ******* *****

The staff cafeteria had been decorated with multicolored streamers of crepe paper and tinsel; and above the serving counter sheets of A4 paper, each individually lettered in red capitals, spelled out the words, “MERRY CHRISTMAS”. Strings of Christmas cards, given by various staff-members to each other and collected over the course of years for just this purpose, were strung around the walls. A nativity scene depicting the arrival of the Magi stood on a table in one corner while a small Christmas tree, laden with baubles, tinsel, fairy-lights and little candy-canes, stood on a table in another corner, completing the party atmosphere.

“Just what I need!” thought Paula, ironically “Another bloody Christmas party!”

Still dressed as Santa, she sauntered over to the serving counter, too preoccupied even to chat up Swannee; she merely ordered her lunch quietly and then drifted towards a table. Suddenly she saw a hospital maintenance man sitting at another table and swiftly changed her direction… “G’day, George… mind if I join you?” she said as the beginnings of an idea started to coalesce in the chaos that was her mind.

“All right, what do you want?” George asked, suspiciously; he knew she must want something; nurses just did not associate with maintenance men… they mostly aimed at doctors, though they sometimes settled for male nurses… but they never, ever showed any interest whatsoever in the maintenance staff.

Paula sat down opposite George and said, “George, how old is your granddaughter? About seven isn’t she?”

George’s granddaughter, Amanda was the sunshine of his life and he was so proud of her that he didn’t mind talking about her in the least, even though he still wondered what Paula was after… and what did his granddaughter have to do with it anyway?

Paula reached into her bag and pulled out a box wrapped in Christmas paper and held it up in front of George, “Malibu Barbie…” she said, “For your granddaughter…” Paula had bought the doll for her own niece a couple of weeks ago…

George, swiftly inhaled a lungful of air through pursed lips, raising his eyebrows in surprise; he’d searched all the shops for Malibu Barbie for Amanda, but had been unable to find it in the shops; and had finally had to settle for the latest ‘Bratz’ doll. But he knew that all the little girls at Amanda’s school loved Barbies; and Malibu Barbie was the latest and most popular edition… which was why the shops had all been sold out.

His eyes gleamed greedily as he instantly reached for the doll, but Paula suddenly snatched it away from him, and then, with a seductive smile, said, “George, there’s something I want you to do for me…”

“You got it!” George responded instantly, “Just give me the doll!”

***** ******* *****

St Helvi’s air-conditioning system was notorious; patients who had been there a while often joked about the ‘four seasons in one day’ they sometimes experienced. When it was particularly temperamental the nurses would have to go round the patients covering them all with blankets, kept warm in a heated linen cupboard for that specific purpose… but no-one had ever seen it do anything quite like this before:

As soon as Paula felt the temperature begin to drop, she headed straight for the children’s ward to make sure Emily was covered with a nice warm blanket, knowing that George had put her plan into action… Then she sat on the side of Emily’s bed and put her arm around her to cuddle her while the temperature dropped very severely.

“Ooooh, it’s really cold in here, isn’t it Emily?” She said.

Emily nodded, then Paula added, “Almost cold enough for snow…”

Suddenly, from all the air conditioning vents in the ward, came first little flurries and then small blizzards of frozen white snowflakes. Little Emily’s face lit up and she beamed with a delirious happiness as she clapped her tiny hands and yelled, “It’s snowing! Santa, you made it snow…”

“Well,” Paula said modestly, “I had a little help from the guy upstairs… Merry Christmas sweetheart!”

***** ******* *****

CYRUS Ch 15 pt 2

20 Sunday Dec 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Cyrus the Great: Chronicles

≈ 15 Comments

"I am Cyrus, King of the World" - Marduk victory speech

Theseustoo

As Harpagus predicted, the battle opened with a cavalry charge from Croesus’ heavy lancers. But Cyrus had seized the initiative and moved first, thus forcing the Lydian lancers to move before they were quite ready and this upset their timing; thus their battle-line was fairly ragged even at the start of their charge, so it was unable to gain the momentum a massed charge really needs for maximum impact. Then, as the two armies closed together at the gallop, the Lydians were thrown into confusion as the horses neared the enemy and caught sight of the camels. As these ugly beasts now charged towards them, many of Croesus’ cavalrymen were thrown to the ground by their horses as they panicked and reared in their frenzied attempts to escape. As soon as the Lydian cavalrymen were thus thrown to the ground they were swiftly dispatched by Persian spearmen, who followed the camels very closely.

Confusion increased to absolute chaos as the armies drew close enough for the horses to smell these alien and terrifyingly ugly quadrupeds which were even now bearing down on them. Even those Lydian horses which had not thrown off their riders turned round and galloped away as fast as they could the moment they caught sight or smell of Cyrus’ camels, heedless of both their riders’ commands and their whips as they wielded them furiously in their futile efforts to restrain their steeds. The wisest of the horsemen among them gave their mounts their head and just hung on for dear life, until their mounts ran out of breath.

However the best of Croesus’ cavalrymen instantly understood what was happening and quickly leaped off their horses before they too were thrown, and engaged with the Persians on foot. But it was too late; on foot they had lost all impetus and the riders on Cyrus’ camels bore heavily down on them with their long, bronze-tipped lances; and, since most of their comrades had either been thrown from their horses and killed, or else had given their steeds their head and fled, they were far too few; all semblance of battle formation had been lost in an instant and they were easily slaughtered. Harpagus’ stratagem had been very effective, completely neutralizing the impact of Croesus’ cavalry charge; and when the rest of Croesus’ forces saw the slaughter that was now being done to the fleeing remnants of the scattered cavalry, they immediately fled back to the safety of Sardis’ high city walls, while the Persian host encircled the town well beyond bowshot, and prepared themselves to lay siege to the city.

*** ***** ***

Croesus took off his heavily-mailed leather gauntlets and threw them onto the table as he strode into the war-room with Sandanis and his other officers in tow. The gates of Sardis had been firmly barred behind them and archers had been stationed at the walls to keep the enemy at a distance. Croesus looked tired and weary as he spoke to his officers: “Sandanis, we must send more heralds to all of our allies; especially to the Spartans; they are to inform them that we are already besieged; and that they are not to wait for spring, as we had planned, but to come immediately!”

“At once Lord!” Sandanis responded immediately, as he gestured briefly towards a herald, who, having already heard and memorized the king’s message, immediately ran off to obey him. Sandanis was worried to see a hint of desperation had appeared in his king’s manner; his second encounter with these Persians had taken its toll on his nerves. Even so, thought Sandanis, his actions were sound; after the terrible defeat of his cavalry, there was nothing for it but to retreat within the city’s impregnable walls and sit out the siege until help could arrive.

“How long do you think we can hold out?” the king now demanded. “Your majesty,” Sandanis responded reassuringly, “we’ve plenty of supplies; enough to last several years. As long as we keep the walls well manned by guards and archers, we can hold out almost indefinitely…” Croesus looked only slightly relieved, although he seemed satisfied enough with his general’s response. Though he had been severely shaken by the ferocity of the Persians, he was most certainly not beaten yet! As soon as his allies arrived he was determined to have his revenge on these Persian barbarians.

*** ***** ***

The Lydian herald soon arrived in Laconia, the capital city of the Spartan state of Lacedaemonia, to find the Spartans grieving sorely for the loss of three hundred of their best warriors in a recent dispute with Argos over the territory of Thyrea, whose ownership they both claimed. Even so the Archon greeted him warmly, although he didn’t quite know what to make of this unexpected visit:

“This is indeed a surprise, herald!” The Archon said, “We had not thought to hear from you again until we go to meet your master in Sardis in spring…”

As he spoke, the Archon could not help noticing that the herald seemed to be having a hard time keeping tears from his eyes as he answered, “Alas my lord, the gods did not will it so; our city of Sardis is already besieged by Cyrus; my master bids you to honour our alliance and come at once!”

“And the siege?” the Archon demanded, needing to know more details of Croesus’ situation before he would commit his troops to an ocean voyage, especially at this stormy time of year, “Is Sardis likely to hold out long enough for us to relieve her?”

“Yes lord!” The herald replied stoutly, “Our walls are strong and high and the city is well-supplied…”

The Archon thought deeply for several moments before he spoke again, “We are at present engaged in a dispute with Argos over Thyrea; the mourning you see is for three hundred of our best warriors, who have died already in the dispute.” Now, the herald thought to himself, he finally understood the reason for all the weeping and lamentation which he had observed on his arrival, as he looked around at the huge crowd of mourners, who had now ceased their wailing while they waited to hear whatever news this Lydian had brought with him.

When he saw the extent of the Spartans’ grief however, he couldn’t help but wonder if the Lacedaemonians would even be able to help. He need not have worried on that score, however. The Spartans felt that a man was only as good as his word; if Lacedaemonia had made an agreement to help Lydia, then whatever the cost to her in either men or materials she would honour it; all the more so as Sparta was indebted to Croesus for many kindnesses.

When the Archon saw and understood the distressed look which had appeared on the Lydian’s face, he continued, “We are obliged to avenge their deaths, yet we will not dishonour our treaty with Croesus; tell your master that as much of our forces as can be spared will be assembled at once; we will sail for Sardis as soon as the ships can be provisioned.”

“Thank you, my lord Archon.” The herald replied gratefully, nodding his thanks. However, privately he could not help but wonder whether the Spartans would in fact be able to send enough men to turn the tide of this war against the Persians. Having just lost three hundred of their finest warriors in their dispute with the Argives over Tegea, they would, he thought, undoubtedly lose many more men avenging their deaths. Who, he asked himself, could possibly know how many troops Lacedaemonia would be able to send to Lydia after they had revenged themselves on the Argives?

Even so, the herald thought to himself with grim resignation, a little help is better than none. Negotiations now being at an end, he gave the Archon a farewell salute and said, “I shall return immediately and let Croesus know that help is on the way…”

*** ***** ***

Cyrus: Chapter 15, part 1 The Seige of Sardis

09 Wednesday Dec 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Cyrus the Great: Chronicles

≈ 21 Comments

by Theseustoo

Impatient with the limitation on his speed that having to stay with the infantry and baggage train had imposed on him, Cyrus had boldly pushed ahead. Thus he was the first to arrive at the city gates of Sardis at the head of his cavalry; even before the rest of the army. Cyrus left the column at a distance he deemed safe from any archers on the city walls who may be tempted to take pot-shots at them, then, holding aloft a lance, to which he had attached a piece of white cloth to serve as a flag of truce in his right hand and a wickerwork shield in his left, he cautiously approached the city gates. With his wickerwork shield held in front of him and keeping and extremely sharp eye out for possible missile fire, Cyrus hailed the guards that he knew would be on duty in the gate-house to man the now heavily-barred gates, which had been closed the instant the dust from Cyrus’ expedition had been seen rising in huge brown clouds above the horizon.

Soon a Lydian guard appeared on the wall above the gate; although he was armed from head to toe, his hands were empty as he waited for Cyrus to state his purpose. In tones which would undoubtedly be clearly heard well inside the city walls Cyrus declaimed: “Ho there! Inside the city! Tell your master, Croesus, son of Alyattes, that Cyrus, son of Cambyses, King of Persia and Media, has come to finish what Croesus started! If he does not wish to come out to fight, let him skulk inside his city, and hide behind its walls like a coward, we will then lay siege to the city and deprive you of all the goods that you normally receive through these gates; until you either surrender or starve!”

As the guard disappeared once more from the top of the wall to give his message to Croesus, Cyrus returned to the column where Harpagus awaited his instructions. “Let us fall back far enough to allow him time to come out of the city and draw up his battle-lines.” Cyrus said; then he added, “These Lydians are brave men; in all Asia there are none braver; they will not surrender without a fight!”

Appreciating the appropriateness and the candour of his king’s personal assessment of the enemy, Harpagus saluted him, striking his gauntleted right fist across his mailed leather cuirass. “Yes Lord!” he responded firmly, as he turned and, giving a brief hand-signal, wheeled his column about and withdrew far enough to allow Croesus to draw up his lines of battle without any fear of interference. While the Lydians were occupied with this, the Persian infantry section began to appear on the horizon; followed closely by the baggage train.

***      *****      ***

Croesus had assembled his generals to discuss how they might best approach this new situation with which they were confronted. As soon as he entered the war-room, Sandanis spoke, “Sire, I’ve sounded the assembly; all the mercenaries who live in or near the city have been recalled; they await your command.”

Croesus nodded his approval of Sandanis’ actions; smiling at the other generals he said confidently, “He is very bold this Cyrus! But we Lydians still have the best cavalry in all Asia! What forces does Cyrus have with him?”

“Mostly infantrymen,” Sandanis responded, “with only a small detachment of cavalry… he is too rash Lord; it seems he has attacked us impetuously; although we have very few infantry without the support of our allies, yet our cavalry are easily a match for him now!”

“Very well,” Croesus said thoughtfully, “…the enemy have courteously withdrawn to allow us to draw up our battle-lines; we shall oblige this young man and teach him not to be so impetuous! As for battle-lines, we shall put our cavalry in front with our infantry behind them; the shock of a cavalry charge from my lancers will break up their formation and make the infantry’s job much easier; the Persians won’t know what’s hit them.”

***      *****      ***

Harpagus had watched Croesus form his battle ranks and had immediately observed the strength of Croesus’ cavalry; which consisted mainly of heavy lancers; and which formed his front rank. Obviously, he thought, Croesus intends to use them as shock troops to charge our front line, hoping to scatter it and thus break through to the rear of our ranks; where he realized grimly, they would easily be able to do incalculable damage. Although he was reluctant to admit it, Croesus’ battle-lines worried him; he knew that in the face of such a charge, even the most experienced spearmen could break ranks and flee. Harpagus knew all too well that if this happened the battle could easily turn into a complete rout and all would be lost.

The general trotted up to Cyrus just as he was giving his final instructions to his officers, “My lord,” he said gravely, as his king finished speaking, “the enemies’ strength lies in their cavalry; our infantry-men cannot match them; neither can our cavalry, which number less than half of theirs. But I know how we can make their cavalry useless to them…”

“Indeed Harpagus?” the King enquired eagerly. Cyrus had agreed grimly with his general’s assessment of the enemy’s plans; convinced by what he had seen himself of how they were beginning to line up in their battle formation; he too had been worried by the strength of the Lydians’ heavy cavalry, “What do you think we should do?” he asked frankly.

Harpagus replied with surprising confidence, a grim smile, and a twinkle in his eye: “Have half the cavalry dismount; unpack the camels from the baggage train and then have the cavalrymen mount these as their steeds; we will put them in front, with our infantry close behind, with the rest of our cavalry protecting their flanks and to hunt down enemy deserters; horses have a natural dread of camels; they cannot stand the sight or the smell of them. Thus the enemy cavalry will be uncontrollable and spread confusion among the enemies’ ranks, leaving their cavalrymen easy targets for the spears of our infantry and the rest of our cavalry.”

“Very well; do it! Quickly!” Cyrus ordered, immediately and intuitively recognizing a sound plan. A few minutes later, as Harpagus had suggested, Cyrus and half of his cavalry had mounted their new steeds. Fortunately Cyrus’ cavalrymen were just as familiar with these beasts of burden as they were with their own horses; so they had no trouble adapting to their new mounts as they now quickly rode up to take their place in Cyrus’ front line. When this was done, Cyrus turned once more to give his final instructions to Harpagus, “Show them no mercy; but make sure that Croesus is taken alive even if he resists when he is captured!”

“Yes Lord;” Harpagus said obediently, then, nodding his head in the direction of the enemy’s ranks, he said, “It seems the enemy is almost ready…” “Then sound the charge before they have a chance to seize the initiative!” He ordered. Harpagus saluted as he instantly replied, “At once Sire!” Then turning to his trumpeter to relay his King’s command, he said firmly, “Trumpeter, sound the advance!”

***      *****      ***

Hell Hospital: Episode 5

03 Thursday Dec 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Hell Hospital

≈ 31 Comments

By theseustoo

(Disclaimer: this series of stories is completely fictional and none of the persons, places or institutions in these stories are real, but figments of my own imagination. Any similarity to any real person, place or institution is entirely coincidental.)

Swannee, though tall and ruggedly handsome, was that rarest of all types of man, a faithful one. He loved his ever-fertile and almost always pregnant wife and ten tin lids; he was looking forward to the eleventh, so that he’d have his own cricket team; and the faintest trace of the remotest possibility that he might ever allow himself to entertain the slightest thought of ever being unfaithful to his beloved wife, Catherine, had not even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing his mind… in spite of the brevity of the journey.

Swannee was also just daft enough to be honest and to love simplicity; all the lies and deception which invariably accompanied infidelity were far too complex for his simple soul, so infidelity was the very last thing he would ever consider with anything but horror and revulsion.

His wife loved him for it with absolute devotion, of course. Named after the Catholic saint who had been executed by being crucified to a spinning wheel of fire, Catherine loved her husband deeply and felt it was her Christian duty to pump out as many sprogs as she could for him… She would give him the cricket team he had always said he wanted! She was almost there… another three months and she would pop sprog number eleven… Her beloved Swannee would finally have his cricket team! However, recently, she had secretly begun to wonder, with just a trace of nervous trepidation, whether or not he’d want the two reserves…

As a result of his native simplicity and his state of constant domestic bliss, what with all those willing and helpful children to help him with the chores around the house, Swannee was absolutely oblivious to the attention some of the female staff-members were beginning to pay him during their lunch hours. He was quite sure they were ‘just being friendly’. “Though by gum,” he thought to himself, as Loreen leaned forward to give her order in a deeper and huskier voice than usual, “…they were certainly very friendly… and I’m sure that pinch on the bum was just a friendly tease… it doesn’t mean anything at all, really… I hope I don’t catch her cold, it sounds serious from the huskiness of her voice…”

Loreen’s cleavage loomed large in Swannee’s vision and he was reminded that he’d promised to take the cricket team to the hills for a camping expedition in the near future… This weekend would probably be good, he supposed, as he bent to extract a hot pie from the oven.

He couldn’t help wondering why it was that Loreen and Paula always ordered items which came either from the oven or from bottom cupboard just above floor level; he was beginning to get serious back pains from all that bending over. He began to suspect, not without reason, they were competing to see who could make him bend over the most. Now he was sure they hated him because they seemed to tease him all the time, and they made him work so hard; bending over all the time like that. There was nothing he could do about it however; he had a job to do; the cricket team must be fed; he just had to serve these two temptresses their lunch and try to ignore any ‘unusual’ remarks or behaviour.

*****      *******      *****

Loreen could not believe her outfit was having no effect at all on her intended victim; yet it seemed as though Swannee were completely unaffected by even the sexiest of her work outfits; he had not even appeared to notice her fishnet stockings and suspender belt, even when she sat down facing the serving hatch and ‘accidentally’ allowed her short skirt to ride up over her thighs to reveal a small triangle of her black lace panties; her fishnet stockings went unnoticed and her cleavage ignored.

“How,” she wondered, frustratedly, as she checked her assets in a restroom mirror, “…can he ignore all this?! Is he gay?!”

*****      *******      *****

Paula too found Swannee’s obliviousness to her charms extremely frustrating; all the more so as she had noticed that one of the cleaners, the infamously nicknamed, “Loose-lipped Loreen” was quite obviously making a play for what Paula now considered ‘her man’. Was it her imagination or her jealousy, she asked herself, or was Swannee beginning to succumb to that Loose-lipped Loreen’s charms? She had seen him stare at Loreen’s ample bosom for what seemed like ages yesterday; was he a ‘big tit’ man? She wondered, regarding her own small but pert breasts with a dubious expression on her face. Is that why he hasn’t noticed me yet? Okay, she decided instantly, tomorrow it’s the padded bra!

*****      *******      *****

Elaine slowly turned the cards over; she’d decided against a ouija board because she didn’t want to involve her assistants. So she’d waited until they’d gone off to lunch before she took out her tarot cards and did a reading for the morgue, hoping the ether would favour her with some information about the lurking presence she now knew was haunting the morgue…

Perhaps, she thought, it was a ‘lost soul’ who’d been unable somehow to find its way to the ‘Other Side’. But she dismissed this idea very quickly; true, some souls did become earthbound for various reasons, but she had sensed something unusually terrible and evil about this one…

The first card she turned up was ‘The Fool’… a naïve young man setting out on an adventrurous journey or about to have a new experience; though not a bad card, it warned about the possibility of trouble as a result of the fool’s naivety and inexperience.

The fool was ‘assisted’ by the High Priestess, a woman of significant spiritual ability would help him with this novel experience. The ‘Death’ card which followed seemed perfectly logical, representing natural change; it’s meaning being more to do with the symbolic ‘rebirth’ which this card implied, rather than actual death itself…

These two cards were ‘crossed’ by ‘The Empress’… a powerful woman was preventing the natural change from happening. In the position which represented the immediate future, however, was the ten of swords; this card may very well indicate death, but even if it didn’t mean death it certainly meant an awful lot of trouble: The card depicted a knight, slain by ten swords, still sticking upright out of his prone corpse, making him look like a weird party-wiener, with ten cocktail sticks in a single wiener…

Trouble, she thought… and maybe even death, was coming to the morgue…

Very spooky, she thought… but the cards never lie. The question is, she now asked herself, who are these people? And what is their connection to the morgue; if she knew that, she would have a much better chance of understanding what the cards were trying to tell her… And what did all this have to do with the lurking presence she had sensed in the morgue; and which presence she still seemed to sense, just beyond the fringes of her consciousness…

*****      *******      *****

Cyrus: Chapter 14: A Prodigy Indeed

28 Saturday Nov 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Cyrus the Great: Chronicles

≈ 6 Comments

Phil Manzanera (sorry, couldn't find Mazares)

One of Croesus’ servants had run to tell the king about a prodigy which was happening right here in the centre of Sardis; indeed it was happening quite literally right under the king’s very nose, yet Croesus found he could hardly believe his eyes as he stared down into the public square from a second-floor balcony in one of his private apartments.

“Well… a prodigy indeed!” he drawled thoughtfully as he tossed the servant a gold coin to dismiss him. He turned to Sandanis and continued, “I would not have believed it if, had I not seen it with my own eyes! The whole city is swarming with snakes… and you say those horses actually left their pastures to come down into town to eat them? Aren’t horses usually terrified of snakes?”

“Yes your majesty” Sandanis replied, equally intrigued by this inexplicable and bizarre phenomenon; “Although, these are not poisonous, but harmless grass snakes…” he continued as he regarded the square below them once more. After a few more moments he finally observed, “Even so, I have never seen anything like it! What do you suppose it could mean?”

Fascinated, they continued to watch as the mercenaries’ horses continued to feed on the reptiles. Only the previous day these horses had been put out on the hills to graze, but this morning they had followed a swarm of snakes which had invaded the city in huge hordes, where the horses then began to feed on the serpents with a most voracious appetite.

Both Sandanis and Croesus, born into the aristocracy, had been horsemen all their lives; yet they were both astounded. This was a most unusual taste for horses to develop; though they were both educated men, neither had ever even heard of such a phenomenon. They could only conclude that it was the result of divine intervention. Surely, Croesus thought to himself, there must be some profound meaning behind these strange events; although he could make nothing at all out of them himself.

“Sandanis,” Croesus replied, pensively, to his general who was equally astounded and equally at a loss for words, “I have absolutely no idea; I’ve never seen anything like it either.” He thought for several moments and then ordered, “Send an inquiry to the soothsayers of Telmessus; they are the best I know at interpreting prodigies. If anyone can enlighten us as to the meaning of this one, they can.”

“I shall send a messenger at once Sire!” Sandanis said with alacrity, as he bowed and took his leave to obey the king’s orders. Telmessus was at least three days’ steady marching from Sardis, but a messenger on horseback could have a reply from them in less than half that time; soon they would have the solution to the enigma.

*** ***** ***

While Croesus retreated to Sardis, his enemy, Cyrus, had occupied Sinope, whose citizens were very relieved to see their Median and Persian allies chase the Lydian invaders out of their territory. The Syrians had feasted Cyrus and his men generously, treating them as heroes. In the meantime Cyrus took advantage of Croesus’ retreat not only to book and bury his dead, but also to rest his troops in shifts and to appoint a large detachment of troops under the command of General Mazares, Prince of the Budii, to take command of the garrison here.

Mazares was one of the five Princes of the Tribes who had been involved in the original plot which had culminated in Cyrus’ revolt from Astyages; his appointment to this post was his reward, for the courageous Mazares had taken more than his fair share of risk by organizing their very first fateful meeting. Harpagus was charged with overseeing the repairs to the city and with addressing their immediate needs for improved security, while Mazares organised a large cohort of troops to permanently garrison the city.

“Well Harpagus?” Cyrus now demanded as he faced his general over a large, chart-strewn table in the large chamber which they had chosen to use as a war-room, “Is the city secure?”

Harpagus had set his men immediately to strengthen any weak points he found in the city’s defences; most especially those which they themselves had just taken advantage of in recapturing the city. He immediately repaired the superficial damage which had been done to the city walls during its two recent battles; as well as the more serious damage which had been caused by generations of neglect. He also posted guards at regular intervals along the city’s walls and also in the high towers which framed the city’s gatehouse, rotated in four-hour shifts around the clock; this would give them plenty of warning of any surprise attack; he thought, or indeed, of any other approach by the enemy.

“Yes your majesty.” Harpagus replied, quite satisfied with the progress of his men’s work. ”The people will not revolt… they do not care for Lydians…” he added with a grin.

Indeed, Lydia’s sudden attack on Sinope was seen by all of the region’s inhabitants as the most despicable treachery. Although the Pterians had held no formal treaties of alliance with Lydia, they had nonetheless traded with her peacefully for centuries previously; as they had always done with all the countries with which she shared her borders; as indeed had all of Cappadocia. It was what had made them all rich. Inevitably such abominable treachery was rewarded with a universal and intensely-felt hatred from the citizens of Pteria for their conquerors; and that hatred remained undiminished even now that the enemy had been forced to relinquish their hold on their city.

This was just as Cyrus anticipated; now he thought silently to himself, he would make very good use of that sentiment. “And Croesus has fled with his army back to Sardis?” he demanded. The general nodded. This news had come as a great relief for Cyrus; it meant that at least the Lydians would not attack again for some time; perhaps not until the spring, he thought; maybe they would be content to sit the winter out behind Sardis’ walls and gather her allies.

“Yes sire!” Harpagus said with evident pleasure, “My spies tell me he now plans to winter there and attack again in the spring; he has even dismissed his mercenaries, who formed the backbone of his army! He assumes that we will winter here and strengthen our position before striking again.”

When he heard this Cyrus suddenly saw an opportunity to avoid a lengthy and possibly futile winter siege; he looked his general levelly in the eyes as, in an icy voice, he said, “Then we will strike now! Sardis will be ours before the winter sets in! Assemble the army! We march on Sardis immediately!”

“Yes your majesty!” Harpagus replied with a smart salute, snapping immediately to attention, “At once your majesty!”

Then he quickly turned to a trumpeter who waited dutifully nearby for instructions, and gave the order: ”Trumpeter, sound the Assembly!” The trumpeter instantly nodded once and then ran out of the building to sound the Assembly in the courtyard.

Instantly soldiers came running from every direction to form ranks in the square. Within a few minutes, while Cyrus and Harpagus went to find their steeds in the nearby livery stable, the whole army had swiftly formed ranks outside the city gates; with the cavalry at their head. Though they were a king and a general, cavalrymen and private soldiers rushed right past them in their haste to form ranks on parade, with little more acknowledgement of their rank than a cursory nod, in order to hastily arm themselves, put saddles on and mount their horses and form ranks in the courtyard with their comrades. Cyrus and Harpagus did not hurry, but strolled over to the livery stable, where grooms had already saddled their mounts, taking their time to give stragglers every chance to take their place in the regimental column. The king and his general then mounted their own horses and took their customary positions with the cavalry at the head of the column.

With a brassy fanfare from the trumpets, and the fifes and drums striking up a merry marching tune, the regiment of cavalry cantered smartly out of the city gates. They were closely followed by a massive column of infantry, comprised of archers and spearmen, both of which were also armed with long, bronze daggers as well as their primary weapons, the long, bronze-pointed spear. Marching at the double, they were only slightly slower than the cavalry. Finally, following the infantry at a fast walking pace was a gigantic baggage-train or caravan, consisting of several hundred heavily-laden camels, carrying all the supplies and equipment Cyrus felt he would need in order to besiege Sardis; the Sinopeans having generously resupplied him with a large contingent of troops and all the equipment he had required.

*** ***** ***

Croesus’ messenger bowed deeply as, with both hands, he received the small papyrus scroll on which the Sooth-sayers of Telmessus had written their response to Croesus’ enquiry regarding the prodigy which had been observed in Sardis. As he handed the messenger the scroll, by way of giving the herald a précis of the longer analysis contained in the scroll, the soothsayer said in a dark voice, “Croesus must look for an army of foreign invaders in his country; and when they come they will subdue the native inhabitants; since the snake is a child of the earth and the horse is both a warrior and a foreigner.”

Hearing this, the messenger was aghast; he turned and fled out of the Temple of the Soothsayers as fast as his well-trained legs could carry him, careless for the first time in his adult life of his bearing and dignity, and with but one thought occupying his entire being: Sardis was going to be invaded! The soothsayer’s message clearly indicated that Cyrus was not going to be content to winter in Sinope as Croesus had assumed; instead, he would besiege Sardis immediately. He must get back to Sardis in time to warn his king: Lydia was about to be attacked.

*** ***** ***

Cyrus: Chapter 13, part 2

20 Friday Nov 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Cyrus the Great: Chronicles

≈ 11 Comments

Cyrus

By theseustoo

Chapter 13, part 2:

*** ***** ***

Such a tremendous battle as that fought between the forces of Cyrus the Persian and Croesus of Lydia, was never fought again in that region before or since. The slaughter on both sides was so great that neither side had a clear idea of who was winning or who was losing. The battleground was a single seething mass of bloody chaos; an incomprehensible and inconceivable jumble of torn and bleeding flesh; a huge confused mass of heaving bodies, constantly stabbing and hacking; spraying blood from a million wounds; and all the time pushing, as hard as possible, forward into the main body of the enemy; ignoring even the cries of agony and the torn and bleeding bodies of the desperately wounded and dying, as they stumbled over falling comrades and severed body-parts in their eagerness to damage the enemy.

The dreadful chaos of this terrifying visual confusion was further intensified to an unimaginable pitch by the dreadful cacophony of battle-noises; the insistent, remorselessly up-tempo and insistently pounding beat of the drums provided a temporal background for the insanely bright and jolly tunes of the flutes and the ear-splitting, brassy fanfares blasted out by the trumpets which were used to transmit the orders of the commanders on either side to their troops; and above all this, providing a grisly descant to this hideous tumult, arose the blood-curdling screams and agonised moans of the dead and dying…

Then there were the smells; the awful stench of the ankle-deep, recently-spilled blood and entrails combined with the dreadful aroma of fear; and the awful stench of death itself; was enough to make even the most experienced of butchers vomit. Indeed, many of those present were so over-whelmed by the hellish and horrifying reality of the carnage that many lost control of their stomachs and vomited, while others lost control of their bladders and their bowels as terror took command of their bodies, adding even more filth to the battlefield and more foulness to the already indescribably abominable stench. Thus physically compromised, a man became easy prey for the enemy.

Only those who could effectively ignore this insanity; this absolute chaos which attacked every sense and which was happening all around them; and still retain control of their bodily functions; only those who could ignore the constant physical danger to their own lives by ignoring even their own terror as men on either side were hacked to pieces or skewered on bronze-tipped spears or pierced by arrows, as they lost control of themselves and froze, making them easy targets; and as friend and foe fell dead all around them; only those who could ignore all this and still press ahead; only such men as these survived.

So hot and bloody was the conflict; and so great was the number of the slain on both sides that when night fell, the battle was still undecided, as both sides were forced by the encroaching darkness to withdraw.

*** ***** ***

As soon as they were safely within the walls of Sinope Croesus met with his generals and officers to discuss their next move. The day’s battle had caught the Lydians by surprise; they had not been prepared for either the size of the enemy host, or their ferocity. Most of the officers who had been present in the day’s battle had feared that if they pressed their attack they risked a terrible defeat; yet no man there wanted to earn himself a reputation for defeatism or cowardice by being the first one to suggest a retreat.

This had been equally true on both sides; with the result that both sides had stood their ground in the face of withering fire from enemy missiles and the crushing press of ranked spearmen; this process had continued all day as neither side had been willing to give even an inch of ground; until nightfall had mercifully made further fighting impossible.

The day’s action had resulted in a serious thinning of the ranks on both sides. Indeed, by sunset both sides had lost almost a third of their forces. The officers felt their position here in Sinope was now apparently untenable and thought Croesus should pull his army back to Sardis, whose walls were impregnable and which had enough supplies laid in to outlast even a lengthy siege; yet no-one among them wanted to be the one to suggest it.

Knowing the respect which the king held for him, Croesus’ officers chose Sandanis to speak for them to their king about their concerns. Croesus was not unaware of the situation, but his expression was dark and moody; and most difficult to interpret. Tentatively, Sandanis started to speak: “My Lord,” he said, “these Persians fight like demons; though the battle is still undecided we have already lost almost a third of our army.” Croesus stared at him blankly, as Sandanis continued, “Even with the favour of the gods, prudence does not go amiss; I fear we cannot hold Cappadocia without great losses…”

Croesus ignored the implicit reproach from this, his most trusted general. Indeed, in giving Croesus the benefit of his own assessment of the situation, Sandanis had in fact only confirmed what Croesus already knew; what he should have known before; that even with the favour of the very gods themselves, the material means to one’s ends must not be ignored. “Indeed!” Croesus replied, “The Persians outnumber us considerably; though they have lost as many men as we… But Cyrus has not repeated his attack; he must be licking his wounds…”

The monarch thought for a moment as he gazed first into Sandanis’ eyes and then into the eyes of every man present, gauging the extent of their feeling and the strength of their unity; each man steadily returned his gaze unflinchingly. All day these men had been in the thick of the battle; countless times they had rallied their flagging men; again and again they had attacked the enemy. No-one, the king realized, could truthfully accuse them of cowardice. Instantly assessing their mood; Croesus smoothly continued: “However as you say, prudence never goes amiss; we’ll take advantage of Cyrus’ inactivity to fall back to Sardis. The year is waning; winter will soon be here. We shall wait until spring and then attack again; in the meantime we shall send for our allies in Egypt and Lacedaemonia.”

Sandanis felt greatly relieved at the king’s wisdom; gravely nodding his agreement, he said, “Sire, Babylon is also bound to us by treaty; I think it would be wise to send for help from King Labynetus too; that should give us the numbers we will need to defeat these Persian dogs…”

For the first time Croesus realised his folly in trusting so completely in the prophecies of the oracles without ensuring first that he had the physical forces needed to make them a reality. He had been thinking along much the same lines as Sandanis, whom he now realized had been very thoughtful in not voicing his reproach openly, knowing that Croesus would reproach himself anyway at this unforeseen turn of events.

In any case, Sandanis is quite right, Croesus thought, we can certainly use Labynetus’ help; and he was sure that the current Assyrian king of Babylon would most certainly take advantage of any opportunity which presented itself to him to revenge himself on the Medes, who in ancient times had been his ancestors’ subjects. Furthermore, Croesus also knew that Labynetus would never be able to resist the chance, whilst punishing the Medes and Persians, to recover some of their ancient homelands; a chance to rebuild the Assyrian Empire.

“My own thoughts entirely;” Croesus said, “…instruct the generals that we shall assemble all our allies in Sardis at the beginning of spring.” One of the junior officers present voiced his concern about the proposed retreat, “But if we fall back to Sardis, Lord, might not Cyrus follow us there and lay siege to the city?”

Croesus was prepared for his question; indeed he had already considered this possibility. Even if Cyrus did exactly what the young officer was suggesting, he’d already decided that it wouldn’t matter too much; Sardis was well-supplied and her walls were impregnable; all we have to do, Croesus thought, is to sit out the siege until our allies arrive in the spring. But he did not think that Cyrus would do this. Cyrus, he realized now, was a good commander and an intelligent man; surely he would realize that besieging Sardis would be futile, and doing so during the winter would be very hard on both his men and their equipment.

“No, I don’t think so,” he said to the young officer with a shrug, “after a battle as closely-fought as this one he will stay in Cappadocia to bury his dead and tend to the wounded. Of course, he’ll try to strengthen his position there as much as he can; but when we attack again in spring with all our allies, we will have superior numbers and victory shall be ours!”

“Very well, your majesty;” Sandanis said, bowing his head obediently, “all shall be done as you command.”

*** ***** ***

The retreat was a very straightforward matter because, as Croesus had expected, Cyrus was indeed busy attending to his dead and wounded. Of all his battles this had been the bloodiest so far. But when he saw the Lydians retreat, he had little choice but to secure Sinope first rather than follow them. After so many had been killed, they must be laid to rest with all the proper rituals, for the sake of morale. Only after the dead had received all the proper rituals and were properly cremated and their souls thus released into the heavens to return to Ea and Enlil, would his troops consent to seeking their revenge for their fallen comrades.

As the Lydian army re-entered Sardis, Croesus was very relieved to see that indeed Cyrus had not followed them with the intention of besieging the Lydian capital. No, he thought to himself; this is not the right time of year to begin a siege; he’d been correct; Cyrus would sit out the winter in Sinope. He’ll strengthen his position there until the spring thaw; of that Croesus was now certain; and only then would he think about attacking Sardis. The king turned to his general and said, “Sandanis, you may disband the mercenaries; we will have no further need of them until the spring. They may return to their homes for the winter but they must reassemble with the rest of our allies when they arrive in spring.”

Realising that his monarch was taking this measure as a means to conserve financial resources which he knew would be needed to fund the next stage in Lydia’s war against this upstart new Persian Empire, Sandanis was satisfied that his master’s judgement once again showed its usual wisdom. He finally decided that the failed expedition to Cappadocia had been merely an aberration; after all, it had not really been a defeat for Croesus; for the enemy had been bloodied just as much as had the Lydians; but it had been, he thought, a severe lesson for the Son of Heaven.

“Very well, your majesty!” he said, saluting crisply as he spurred his horse and rode off to relay the king’s instructions to the mercenary captain.

*** ***** ***

Hell Hospital: Episode 4

18 Wednesday Nov 2009

Posted by atomou in Hell Hospital

≈ 10 Comments

Hell Hospital Morgue - this way out .......

By theseustoo

(Disclaimer: this series of stories is completely fictional and none of the persons, places or institutions in these stories are real, but figments of my own imagination. Any similarity to any real person, place or institution is entirely coincidental.)

Dentistry must be the Devil’s favourite profession, Dave thought as he waited silently and with what he hoped looked like eternal patience for the dental wing’s receptionist to finally acknowledge him. She had noticed him, he knew, for she had actually made eye-contact with him as he had hopped, with his now-moon-booted crushed foot, on his unfamiliar crutches towards the reception desk… Yes, he reassured himself, she had seen him; indeed, for a moment he’d actually allowed himself to think that she was even going to speak to him, but her attention was suddenly diverted by what was apparently an urgent telephone call… it was certainly a long telephone call.

After the first few minutes, Dave looked around him to take his mind off his leg, which was beginning to ache a little now, and noticed a portrait of the dental wing’s patron and founder, one Dr Vladimir Von Draco; a famous, if imported Australian, who had earned himself the nickname ‘Vlad the Sucker’ for inventing the little metal vacuum-sucker-hose that dentists use to suck dribble out of their patients mouths so they don’t drown on their own spit, thus not only killing the patient – the goose that lays the golden egg – but also putting an end to the dentists’ own sadistic pleasure at his patient’s discomfort.

Returning his gaze to the receptionist he saw she was still deeply involved in her telephone conversation. “Now I know why they call us ‘patients’…” he thought to himself “…we have no choice but to be patient…” as he silently sought aloft for divine inspiration and the strength to endure what he knew was going be an ordeal.

Finally the receptionist’s voice became audible as she brought the telephone conversation to a close, “… no… don’t worry, he’ll like it I tell you… yes, I think the blonde highlights really suit you; look, gotta go; see you Saturday!”

Turning at last to Dave she barked, “Name?” with all the natural charm of a Howitzer, to let him know, in case he hadn’t guessed, that she resented being torn away from her beloved telephone. Dave gave his full name; the breadth of the reception desk forcing him to speak in a loud, firm voice in order to make himself heard. The receptionist checked it against that on her computer and then demanded, “Address?” again Dave gave his address, though it made him slightly nervous to voice such personal details in such a public place as this in this glorious twenty-first century. Next, the receptionist demanded, “Date of birth…” Dave glanced around and behind him, nervously casting his suspiscious gaze over the current occupants of the waiting area. “Crikey!” he thought, as he also gave the receptionist his date of birth, “I hope none of those people sitting there in the waiting room are cyber-criminals; there’s enough information there for anyone with a bit of knowledge and a larcenous inclination to steal my identity!” He couldn’t help wondering why the receptionist didn’t just ask to see his driving license along with his Medicare card, which she did ask to see. That, Dave thought, would have been much quicker, much more discreet and much more secure.

Eventually, after checking several more computer screens, the receptionist said, “Oh yes, I see you have an appointment. Please take a seat in the waiting area…” Thankfully Dave hopped over to the waiting area and gracelessly plonked himself down on one of the chairs; arranging his crutches underneath his moon-booted leg to raise it as much as possible off the floor, grateful to be finally able to do so; it was beginning to feel quite sore from its unaccustomed and protracted perpendicularity. After a few minutes’ wait, the dentist and his assistant emerged from among a vast maze of corridors and cubicles and introduced themselves. The dentist, who introduced himself simply as ‘Andrew’, was a tall, freckled youth, complete with curly red hair, n his early twenties. His assistant, Katarina, was a raven-haired beauty with the palest of skin and emerald green eyes.

Dave had often wondered why dentists always had such gorgeous assistants; he finally realized that it was all part of the system; male clients, at least, were much less likely to complain and much more likely to put on a show of macho bravado in front of a perfectly made-up and coiffured, very pretty assistant, as the dentist poked and prodded his teeth with what seemed like an increasingly numerous array of implements, both hi- and lo-tech…

Once upon a time, he remembered, there had just been the dreaded ‘hook of pain’; but now there was also an ‘air-test’, an ‘electricity test’, and what Dave could only describe as a ‘blunt-instrument test’, in which the teeth were tapped with a blunt metal instrument; indeed each of these new tests proved equally capable of producing dental pain in a new and different manner. Instead of one painful test to discover which teeth were rotten, now there were four… and the dentist, of course; a fourth-year dentistry student; insisted on a thorough analysis, using all four tests. “Now that’s progress!” Dave thought.

Always a great believer in the prophetic power of Murphy’s Law, Dave had already predicted that before the torture-session they would ask him to accompany him to their own little cubicle, which would, and indeed, actually did turn out to be right at the other end of what also turned out to be a very large dental wing. St Helvi’s was, after all, a teaching hospital.

Indeed, Dave was learning all the time… right now he was learning that in using his crutches, he was obliged to lift his full bodyweight of about 90 kilos, with every ‘step’; using crutches was thus, essentially, walking on his hands. Even at home, just going to the loo was a workout. Getting himself up and down the stairs to his first-floor flat was an extreme sport… He would certainly sleep well tonight, he thought.

Of course, after all those tests, the dentist finally told Dave exactly what Dave had told the dentist on his arrival, that his upper right rear bicuspid, which the dentist, he noticed, referred to only with a number, was split vertically in two and would probably require extraction. Notes were taken and entered onto a computer and another appointment was made for a date mercifully a few weeks into the future.

This would give Dave a few weeks to screw up his courage to actually keep the appointment; he knew he would have to do it; this tooth had already caused an infection which, though it had abated now somewhat, had been extremely painful; and which Dave knew would return unless the tooth was removed. Oh yes! He’d have to do it, even if it meant facing needles and having the extraction done while he was still conscious…

He hadn’t minded being operated on five times already as the orthopedic surgeon rebuilt his foot; he had been unconscious for those and felt no pain; but this was different! The dentist had already squashed his pitiful plea for a general anesthetic just as, with effortless grace and perfect timing, his assistant had flashed him one of her most gorgeous smiles; and he was irrevocably doomed to an extraction under a local anesthetic. He knew from personal experience that as long as one was conscious, there was always the potential to feel pain, in spite of local anaesthetics, which he never entirely trusted; and Dave had never been fond of needles…

When his foot had been crushed and dislocated in his recent motorcycle accident, he had actually laughed and joked with some of the witnesses to help him to ignore the agony of his severely crushed and dislocated foot, until the ambulance man came to relieve him with his merciful nitrous-oxide lollipop; but when it came to facing dentists, Dave’s courage failed him and he confessed himself a coward.

***** ******* ***** ******* *****

No, the reason Loose-Lipped Loreen had earned her nickname had nothing to do with her gossiping or her inability to keep a secret; it had to do with other uses to which that particular pair of organs might be put; if one were lucky enough; or unlucky enough; depending on one’s viewpoint and life-circumstances; for Loreen was, to put it kindly, a terrible flirt. She most especially could not help competing with other women whenever it seemed as if one of them was about to ‘get off’ with a new boyfriend… or occasionally even, so it was rumored, a new girlfriend.

As it was her mystic duty to protect Paula from herself, Loreen had noticed, with alarm, her blossoming friendship with Swannee in the staff cafeteria (although Swannee himself remained blissfully unaware of it!) and had immediately realized how much harder her job would be if Paula were actually to fall in love. Even now she was hard to keep up with; and even now she required constant surveillance; Loreen now knew not only the location of every closet, but also every other possible hiding-place in the hospital. But, she asked herself, with mounting horror, if Paula were ‘absent-minded’ now, what would she be like if her mind were as distracted as it inevitably would be if she were to fall in love. Something serious had to be done, she realized; and done soon!

Underneath her nylon work-coat, Loreen wore her sexiest black lacy underwear; she undid the top couple of buttons so it showed an ample portion of her not inconsiderable cleavage. Paula would hate Swannee if she caught him looking at other women, she realized; so she would make sure he had something to look at. She had deliberately chosen her shortest work-coat; one which she had deliberately bought a couple of sizes too small for just such circumstances as these… and, although she realized that, were she to be reported to the union, she could lose her membership for violation of the Occupational Health and Safety code, over her black fishnet stockings and suspender-belt, she wore a pair of very sexy six-inch stiletto heels.

“The man,” she said to herself, as she checked her reflection in the mirror as she left for work, “…doesn’t stand a chance!”

***** ******* ***** ******* *****

Hell Hospital Episode 3

13 Friday Nov 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Hell Hospital

≈ 62 Comments

morgue

....... and the clientele didn’t answer back… often!

ByTheseustoo

(Disclaimer: this series of stories is completely fictional and none of the persons, places or institutions in these stories are real, but figments of my own imagination. Any similarity to any real person, place or institution is entirely coincidental.)

Elaine had always liked working in morgues; they were so peaceful and quiet; and the clientele didn’t answer back… often! She usually felt in tune with the spirits there. Elaine had always loved the atmosphere of transience she experienced at railway stations or airports or at the dockside of some shipping port or other; and morgues had something of this transience about them too. All such places had the same fleeting and ephemeral atmosphere, as people rushed through the crowd, excited by the prospect of a new adventure in a strange and foreign land, perhaps a little afraid of missing their transport; whilst others made preparations for their journey or said tearful farewells to loved ones; and still others sat silently and self-contained in waiting-rooms; a million emotions mingled on the morning air and every one of them spoke of life.

That was where the similarities with the morgue ended, of course… the transience was there but the life was not. And though the eternal was present here too, nonetheless the morgue was not exactly bustling; only herself, her two assistants and an occasional cleaner ever came down here… and none of those would ever do so if they didn’t have to… Whenever they came down here even the doctors were all business; they never stayed to chat.

Usually Elaine and her assistants were outnumbered by stiffs; the ‘dearly departed’ as they called them in public for the sake of the recently bereaved. Even the porters who delivered the stiffs just dumped them, signed the paperwork in double-quick time and shot through as if their lives depended on their being elsewhere; heaving huge sighs of relief at being able to finally breathe freely… No one liked the morgue at St Helvi’s.

But not a single one of them would admit that it was because morgue spooked them; that the morgue was, indeed, a spooky place. But Elaine had learned how to read people just as easily as she had learned how to read the cards themselves, in the thousand and some tarot-card readings she had done to supplement her pitiful salary; and she knew they were all spooked by this morgue. There was something not quite right about this morgue…

Of course no morgue was a particularly pleasant place and people often found them spooky; Elaine knew very well that spirits often hung around such places until they figured out which way they were supposed to go, and this, she felt, explained any morgue’s ordinary or ‘background’ level of spookiness. Indeed anywhere the ‘recently departed’ had passed through on their final journey from the place of their demise to their final resting place was a bit spooky too, she realized.

But this was different. This was a deep and abiding presence; a lurking menace… As she extended her sensitivity, Elaine sensed a dark and brooding malevolence hovering just beyond the fringes of her awareness; an entity full of malice and spite. Sensing her presence as soon as Elaine’s mystical insight had turned towards it, the darkness instantly withdrew itself and hid from her sensitivity, but even so, in that briefest of glimpses, Elaine had sensed the darkness, the hideous evil, which, it seemed to her hyper-sensitive awareness, had always been there at the heart of St Helvi’s…

*****     **********     *****

“So you don’t believe in God then?” Loreen asked, and took another huge bite out of her hamburger ‘with the lot’.

“Nah… well… I dunno…”  Julie said, thoughtfully. As a psychiatric nurse she had seen so many people so obsessed by religion that it interfered with their ability to get on in ‘the real world’… some of them had even believed themselves to be the living incarnation of various deities… yet these were ‘crazies’ she knew, and even though some of them were remarkably charismatic and seemed relatively sane in other respects, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were all delusional. Medication usually rid them of their delusions along with their ‘divine voices’; and St Helvi’s Psychiatric Wing’s deprogramming programme usually helped them see the ‘error of their ways’ and eventually turned them into solid, if atheistic, citizens.

After a few moments thought she stuffed the final bite of her sausage roll into her mouth and, through a mouthful of crumbs, said, “Well… I suppose it’s always possible… anything is possible…”

“What about angels?” Loreen inquired, rather persistently, Julie thought.

“Well, like I said, I suppose anything is possible!” Julie began to suspect Loreen’s sanity now… it seemed like she really wanted her to believe that religion wasn’t really all just a bunch of fairytales held together with bullshit. She didn’t like to be impolite, but then she wasn’t about to be converted either. You couldn’t convince a crazy person that their delusions were just that simply by telling them they were wrong; one had to be much more subtle than that.

“What would you say if I said I knew someone who’d seen an angel?”

Julie thought, ‘I’d say they were totally nuts!’, but kept the thought to herself. To Loreen she said, “Well… I dunno… I’d like to see some evidence… You must realize it does sound a bit crazy?”

Loreen had expected this answer, “Hmmm…” she said pensively, “I suppose so… but my friend… the one who’s seen the angel… she seems really like a sane and sensible person otherwise. She doesn’t seem nuts at all.”

“Well…” Julie said, conscious of the need for tact, “Many delusional people seem quite normal when discussing any other topic but the one which concerns their delusion… I suppose they’re not really counted as ‘nuts’ until their delusions start to interfere with their daily life; their work and family… We shrinks only ever intervene when these become totally chaotic and out of control. Then, of course, we must do something!”

“Oh, I see…” said Loreen thoughtfully, as she sipped her coffee. “Well… thanks for that. Do you think my friend needs to see a shrink?”

“Dunno…” Julie responded, careful to appear casual and offhand, “Maybe… couldn’t hurt, could it?”

“No… I don’t suppose it would… Well anyway, thanks again… see you later, I’ve got to get back to work now…” She did not add that she needed to find a convenient closet to hide in so that she would be on hand to prevent Paula’s next disaster, which an angel had warned her about. But she did think that the accuracy of St Helvi’s predictions about Paula’s stuff-ups could only indicate that she wasn’t really crazy at all. After all, that was eveidence, wasn’t it? Nonetheless, she thought it would probably be a good idea to make an appointment to see a psychologist… not a psychiatrist, or else she knew she would be instantly drugged, sedated and zombified to such an extent that any kind of coherent thinking would be quite out of the question.” She drained her coffee, stood up and, now lost in her own world of thought, drifted out of the canteen. Julie shrugged, puzzled by the encounter but determined not to let it get to her… instead she turned her attention to the question of whether or not her diet would allow her another sausage roll… they were unusually good today.

*****     *******     *****

Cyrus Chapter 13 Part 1 – A Surprise for Croesus

08 Sunday Nov 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Cyrus the Great: Chronicles

≈ 35 Comments

halys_gulsehir

The river Halys at Guleshir - when Croesus crossed the river it meant war with Cyrus

 

By Theseustoo

Sandanis looked troubled as, seated on his horse in the centre of the front rank of Croesus’ massed forces, he surveyed the enemy’s ranks. Cyrus had arrived the previous evening under cover of the new moon; and had occupied the same position above the city, to observe it prior to attacking, as Croesus himself had done only a few days earlier. This however, did not surprise Harpagus in the least; for the low hill was the only piece of high ground in the broad and otherwise level plain which surrounded the small coastal city of Sinope on the landward side.

But the incredible speed with which he had mustered his forces and arrived even before winter had properly set in, had surprised both him and Croesus, neither of whom had been expecting to have to face Cyrus until the following spring, when their allies would be there to support them. As soon as the huge dust-cloud which indicated the position of Cyrus’ army was spotted Croesus immediately responded with a show of force by having his army parade in battle formation between Cyrus’ army and the city, demonstrating his willingness, if not his readiness, to defend his newly-seized Syrian territory.

The Persian horde, however, was also much bigger than Sandanis had imagined it would be; the momentum this revolution against Median suzerainty had gained was quite staggering, he thought. His spies had reported to him that Cyrus had given all of the cities he’d passed through an opportunity to levy a troop of volunteers to join his ranks and swell the size of his Persian army or else face subjection and enslavement. Many of these were the previously Median-dominated states and had joyfully welcomed Cyrus, seeing in him their liberator from the cruelty and oppression of the tyrant Astyages. Seeing now a potential threat rising from Lydia, such states had joined him willingly; and even eagerly; and had quickly supplied Cyrus with all the men, equipment and supplies he had requested for this expedition.

The few city-states who chose to resist the Persian horde soon realized the futility of their actions when they found themselves besieged by Cyrus’ vastly overwhelming forces. Faced with such overwhelming odds, even those city-states who resisted him; mostly those who were still tributaries to the Assyrians in Babylon; very soon capitulated. Individually they were just far too small to do more than put up token resistance anyway; and Cyrus had moved so swiftly against them that they had no time to coordinate their efforts. Those cities which still obstinately persisted in their resistance were quickly and thoroughly defeated; then their walls were torn down and reduced to rubble; and their inhabitants reduced to slavery.

Sandanis had not counted on this surprising willingness of the other states to join Cyrus’ cause; and he was especially surprised by the almost complete lack of resistance to his imperial claims and ambitions. Croesus’ advisors had also informed him that there was a prophecy which concerned Cyrus in an obscure century-old Hebrew text, the Book of Isaiah, which they said, named Cyrus as the Anointed One. In the light of recent events, however, he thought this could safely be ignored; Croesus, he firmly believed, was the true ‘Anointed One’; the true ‘Son of Heaven’…

But it troubled Sandanis somewhat that so many states had so willingly joined Cyrus’ cause. This Cyrus it seemed, was at the very least a man of charisma; and apparently very popular among his own people, as well as the people of many other nations. This spoke well of Cyrus’ character, he thought, grimly realising that it would make him a formidable enemy too. His master, Croesus, he now realized, was just about to commit himself irrevocably to an extremely bold and very dangerous course of action.

Was it possible that it had been a mistake to pick a fight with this fledgling Persian Empire in the first place? He could not help but wonder; and yet, thought Sandanis, at this point we could still retreat to Sardis without having to face Cyrus; although he realized that it would represent an embarrassing loss of face for Croesus to so easily relinquish a recently captured city. Even so, the general thought, at this moment it could still be done without any other serious losses; and they could always return in spring with their allies. With this in mind Sandanis turned to Croesus,

“Your majesty,” Sandanis said gravely, “before we commit ourselves irrevocably to this war, it is my duty to remind you that you are about to make war against men who wear leather trousers; who have all their other garments of leather; who do not feed on what they like, but on whatever they can get from a soil that is sterile and unkindly; who do not indulge in wine, but drink only water; who possess no figs nor anything else that is good to eat…”

Croesus appeared not to understand what Sandanis was getting at; he regarded his general quizzically; did he really think Croesus was such a coward as to retreat so easily at the first sight of the enemy? The puzzled frown with which Croesus now sternly regarded his general silently demanded further elucidation from the now embarrassed Sandanis, who coughed, a little nervously, and then continued quickly,

“So, if you conquer them, what can you get from them, seeing that they have nothing at all? But if they conquer you, consider how many precious things you will lose: and if they once get a taste of our pleasant things, they will keep such a hold of them that we shall never be able to make them loosen their grasp. For my part, I thank the gods that they have not put it into the hearts of the Persians to invade Lydia…”

Croesus was used to circumspection in his general; and he knew that Sandanis was not normally one to question his king. However, it is true, Croesus thought as he regarded the Persian host on the hill, that Cyrus’ army is much larger than either of us anticipated; and they have somehow managed to march them here much sooner than we expected; but he had never seen Sandanis quite so reluctant to fight.

Croesus knew from long experience that his general was anything but a coward; indeed, had he not been so confident of the gods’ goodwill himself, even he might have considered a cautious retreat to be the better course of action; at least until the spring, when their forces would be augmented by their allies. But now he knew for certain, he told himself, that the gods are on our side; and this is perhaps simply the first test he faced on his path to demi-godhood; after all, heroic feats, he reasoned, were always demanded of demi-gods.

And, he thought to himself to steady his nerves a little, that elusive goddess Fortune, though often fickle, usually favours the brave! In any case he was determined not to turn tail and flee like a whipped dog or a cringing coward, just because an unknown and hitherto untested enemy had suddenly put on an unexpected turn of speed. Yet he also knew that to allow himself to look weak by retreating, before even putting the enemy’s army to the test, could also be to invite disaster by starting to sow the seeds of a suspicion of cowardice among his own men; he must engage the enemy, he thought grimly.

“Thank you for your concern, Sandanis,” Croesus coolly replied, “but I assure you it is quite unnecessary; the gods are on our side in this battle; the oracle at Delphi said my kingdom will last forever; we cannot lose! As soon as we have won here we shall march on Media and Persia.”

Then, turning to address his other officers and the rest of the host in general, he grimly declaimed, in his loudest voice: “Now, gentlemen, you all have your orders; let each man do his own part nobly and you will all be rewarded with positions of honour in my new domain.” Then, turning to the trumpeter at his elbow, he ordered, “Trumpeter, sound the advance!”

*** *****   ***

Cyrus Chapter 12 Cyrus to the Rescue

28 Wednesday Oct 2009

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Cyrus the Great: Chronicles

≈ 28 Comments

....." Croesus has taken Sinope"

....."Croesus has taken Sinope"

By Theseustoo / Astyages

“So…” Cyrus said thoughtfully when the messenger had finished his report, “Croesus has taken Sinope and enslaved the region of Pteria in Cappadocia!” Harpagus nodded grimly but remained silent, though equally pensive; his own spy net-work had already verified the report’s accuracy.

Although both men were staring intently at the world map which was spread out before them on the tabletop, neither of them really needed to look at it in order to find either the region or the city. Indeed both had been world-famous long before Croesus had ever decided to attack them. Several centuries of peaceful trade, which had come to characterize the whole region, and which had been facilitated by the dominance of the Assyrian Empire, had made Cappadocia, and especially Pteria, both very wealthy and very famous.

And even when the Medes finally overthrew their Assyrian overlords, rather than interfere with the running of a country which had hitherto always been a voluntarily tributary nation, the Median kings simply adopted the same policies as their predecessors; allowing them the same terms of fealty as they had under the Assyrians. As a result, this region was permitted an unusually high degree of local autonomy. Their ‘conquerors’ had been quite content to accept only tribute in coin and kind from this region; exempting Pteria from the usual annual levy of troops for the army of the Great King, whoever that happened to be at the time.

Similarly the Median kings had wisely decided to adopt the bureaucratic system Hammurabi had established centuries ago, and which had been copied by the Assyrians. Although the Magi were a Median tribe, as a result of their centuries-long interest in gathering knowledge, they were first adopted as a bureaucracy by the Sumerian; then by the clever policy of intermarrying with, first the Sumerians, then the Assyrians and finally the Medes, the Magi ensured the preservation not only of their tribe but also its immense store of knowledge; and the political influence this gave them; theirs was thus an extremely rich cultural heritage.

This administrative bureaucracy and the network of the King’s Highways had facilitated Assyria’s ultimate subjection, domination and exploitation of immense tracts of territory and the variously assorted cultures which had become the Assyrian Empire. When Media rebelled she simply carried on using the Magi to run her administration. Thus the manner in which the province of Pteria had been administered had remained almost completely unchanged even after many dynastic changes.

For these reasons there had never been any need to send more than a small military force to garrison and oversee the region; and these had become soft through their habitual life of near-indolence. So many countries had depended on this region for their trade that the Syrians, as their neighbours the Lydians called the Pterians, felt they need not fear attack from any nation, for fear of angering all her other trading partners and thus inviting a military catastrophe.

Thus, before Croesus’ sudden invasion, this region had been a veritable oasis of peace in a harsh and extremely violent world. So, for many generations, there had been little need for her men to develop warlike tendencies. Thus a local branch of the imperial tax office and a rather small garrison of local troops was all there was in Pteria to represent the authority of what was now the Persian Empire.

Pteria’s importance to the Empire as a source of revenue was not lost on either Cyrus or his general, Harpagus, who both immediately realized that unless something was done to remedy this situation the loss of this region would severely restrict Cyrus’ imperial revenues. Harpagus now voiced his concern,

“We cannot allow him to gain too firm a hold there…” he said firmly, “He could dominate all the landward trade-routes from Pteria, and thus he’d control a large proportion of our revenue.”

Cyrus looked up from the map and gazed levelly into the eyes of the man who had saved his life and gained him an empire; and who had, since then, become his most valuable and trusted advisor; he said, “Harpagus, assemble the army at once; we’ll march for Sinope immediately! We’ll raise levies of extra troops in the countries we pass through on the way; voluntarily if they choose; by force if they don’t!”

With a respectful bow, Harpagus left the hall to obey his king’s orders, as Cyrus turned to a second messenger who was patiently awaiting his turn to speak, “Now, you…” Cyrus demanded, “What news do you have from Ionia and Aeolia? Will they accept my offer of alliance? Are they prepared to revolt against Croesus of Lydia?”

“My lord,” the messenger answered a little hesitantly, “they both refuse; they remain loyal to Croesus…”

“Stubborn Greeks!” Cyrus exclaimed, frustrated. Yet he was unable to hide his admiration for their loyalty, in spite of his frustration. But as he continued his tone became far more menacing, though it remained tinged with sadness, as Cyrus vowed, “Well! We’ll teach them that stubbornness is not always a virtue!”

 

***   *****   ***

 

← Older posts
Newer posts →

Patrons Posts

  • The Question-Crafting Compass November 15, 2025
  • The Dreaming Machine November 10, 2025
  • Reflections on Intelligence — Human and Artificial October 26, 2025
  • Ikigai III May 17, 2025
  • Ikugai May 9, 2025
  • Coalition to Rebate All the Daylight Saved April 1, 2025
  • Out of the Mouths of Superheroes March 15, 2025
  • Post COVID Cooking February 7, 2025
  • What’s Goin’ On ? January 21, 2025

We've been hit...

  • 735,147 times

Blogroll

  • atomou the Greek philosopher and the ancient Greek stage
  • Crikey
  • Gerard & Helvi Oosterman
  • Hello World Walk along with Me
  • Hungs World
  • Lehan Winifred Ramsay
  • Neville Cole
  • Politics 101
  • Sandshoe
  • the political sword

We've been hit...

  • 735,147 times

Patrons Posts

  • The Question-Crafting Compass November 15, 2025
  • The Dreaming Machine November 10, 2025
  • Reflections on Intelligence — Human and Artificial October 26, 2025
  • Ikigai III May 17, 2025
  • Ikugai May 9, 2025
  • Coalition to Rebate All the Daylight Saved April 1, 2025
  • Out of the Mouths of Superheroes March 15, 2025
  • Post COVID Cooking February 7, 2025
  • What’s Goin’ On ? January 21, 2025

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 374 other subscribers

Rooms athe Pigs Arms

The Old Stuff

  • RSS - Posts
  • RSS - Comments

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 374 other subscribers

Archives

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle
    • Join 280 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...