 Norm de Plumette. Oct 11 2022The bland potato dumpling glowed with self-impotence as he warmed up under the spotlight to expose the government’s ongoing failure to act in the public interest. He announced his latest attack in the repetitive theme of the broken Labor promises that would short-change the will of the electorate. An electorate that had refuted his base politics, and failure to act in the public interest.“ I would argue that it is reprehensible that the government is walking backwards on their promise to support stage 3 tax cuts. These irresponsible cheats and scum lied to the Australian people, they might break the promise that we tricked them into making, we would never do that under my opposition” monotoned the nominal leader of some of the opposition, with no evidence to support his argument. To back up the tedious repetition of his statement Mr Spud Mutton then introduced his chief expert in distorting numbers, Bluffit McKenzie, with a stern warning not to quiz her about her sports rorts which were not lies, because those truths were made under a different leader. Mistressed MuckFrenzie outlined how the stage 3 tax cuts would put money in the hands of people who knew better how to spend money on public services than the government. “People on $45,000 a year are paying 45% of their income in tax. They can’t afford their electricity bill due to the broken Labor promise to reduce electricity costs by 2025” she began by demonstrating her denial of the basic principles of progressive taxation.With a gentle nudge of a perplexed frown from the lurking essence of a broiling potato she attempted to correct herself with no acknowledgement of the error that had the dumbest of economics experts with their heads in their bewildered hands, but they were relieved when she confused the errors with a fusillade of more errors and untruths. Spattering misinformation before it could be comprehended that the impression quoted big taxes paid on all income was actually high marginal rates on excessive earnings. “The 37% tax that is paid by these people on $45000 means that they will be paying the same amount of tax when the stage 3 cuts are implemented as they do now. How can Labor pretend these cuts are biased to the rich? There are underpaid teachers, nurses and persons of a policemen persuasion who will receive these cuts” she ranted confident that saying things rapidly, loudly and frequently is irrefutable neo-liberal logic. The crease in the Spud’s face tried to smile as he stared blankly in support. He was lost in an internal reverie, gloating in the knowledge that all members of the parliament will get a tax cut of over $9000 on top of their over-generous salaries and expenses and superannuation. For those on the meanest parliamentary salary this was almost a whopping 15% tax cut! Then a flicker of unseen regret flickered imperturbably across his bland baldness when he realised that with his salary of over $400,000 plus his income from his $300 million assets, his tax cut would be less than 5%! What had Scomo been thinking?“How can a poor aussie battler on $200,000 a year in struggle street survive if they don’t get an immediate 10% cut in tax?” Bridgette rambled on towards more broken promises “Those struggling on $100,000 will only reduce their tax liability by $1375 a year. That hardly covers the $1200 a year of overcharging by the electricity networks. The Labor government must implement these tax cuts, not increase taxes and fund all their promises to provide relief from doing it tough.”“We will hold the government to account” berated the woman previously dismissed for breaking the ministerial code of conduct “I demand roads and jobs and business support and more gun clubs for my electorate. It is up to the government to find the funds for our promises. Not increase taxes.” “I would like to conclude that we are for all Australians. All Australians use electricity whether they are on $45000 or $200000 income. They should be using the same amount presuming they remember to turn off the lights in all the rooms they are not currently using in their mansions” the responsible for faux accounting on coloured spreadsheets cried. Then shocked that she had made a semi-lucid comment, and remembering that she may be targeted by the new federal corruption investigations, she returned to her talking points.“ Labor is fueling the politics of envy. Those on $45000 have already received a break of $225 a year under previous Stages of the tax cuts. Whilst those on high incomes doing the heavy lifting only received $2430. A reward for aspiration of ten times as much is an insufficient incentive to attract people with the right skill. That is why wages have only increased for those on excessive overpaid incomes. That is why Labor must implement Stage 3 to correct this imbalance. ”Putrid Mutton echoed his support “Hollow words indeed. Albo needs to come clean. Desperate people have factored in these tax cuts into their budgets to address the unknown economic situation in three years time. This is not good enough!” The lord of potatoes released another attack dog to emphasize his concern for the betrayal of embattled single mothers who receive no benefit from the tax cuts. Suspect Lay, famous for losing her portfolio after claiming millions of dollars in unjustifiable expenses, screeched “I want to know. Who is too rich?” to the audience who were confused by the similarities between her and the previous advocate for privilege. Before it was questioned, she slunk off to see her accountant to ensure that her wealth was hidden from public scrutiny. The littlest white Albo pretended to respond with a littlest white lie “I am focused on more immediate matters, but the economy is a concern, because of what we inherited” he stuttered. The words were tripping on his forked tongue as he feigned ignorance of the complete unfairness and indefensibility of the Stage 3 tax cuts that he had cravenly supported. |
The Three Stages of Tax Relief
12 Wednesday Oct 2022
Posted in Norm de Plumette
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 