GO’s painting of Sun Mountain. Anyone who thinks its bullshit doesn’t know what they are talking about

We arrive at the snowfields bio after an overnight ride in the Nimmow. The port is absolutely stunning. A wide open deck that leads to a number of small chalets and a restaurant/café and a handful of shops. We are really spoiled. A female crew member approaches “Hi, I’m Vivienne, I will be looking after you while you stay here at Sun Mountain”. Well there’s not much sun at the moment, it’s cold and light snow is falling. Luckily the G. King nanobot clothing I’m wearing adjusts to keep me warm but my face is as cold as a Trotters Ale at the Pigs Arms.

Vivienne leads us to one of the chalets and like everything on the S.S. Julian II it’s all high quality and incredibly comfortable. GO, the artist droid, appears in his overalls with some brushes, rollers and a tin of paint. “GO” I ask “I thought when you said you wanted to paint the mountain that you meant a portrait?” “Ha, ha Sandy, you joker, I’m just doing some touch up work in one of the chalets first then in the morning I will head up the mountain to do some painting” replies GO. Whew, thought something weird was happening as in space nothing ceases to amaze me.

Belinda and I head for the restaurant. A jazz band is playing called the Gregor Stonach Trio and they are doing some Chick Chorea, great stuff. Vivienne serves us a fillet steak with sautéed mushrooms and fried potato, washed down with a Redman’s Cabernet Sauvignon, beautiful, it doesn’t get any better that this.

Next morning Belinda heads off to the snow fields to ski while I wander around the small village looking at antiques and art galleries when Helvi approaches. “Sandy, come with me, I need to show you something” Helvi states. Now if Helvi asks you to do something you do it, I’ve seen her in full battle mode and it’s both magnificent and scary. “Sure Helvi, what’s up?” I ask with an air of uncomfortableness “Come into the meeting room and I’ll explain” advises Helvi.

We enter the meeting room and Helvi and I sit at the table. Out of her right eye she beams a picture on the wall. Is a giant golden ball and its travelling very fast through space. “What’s that?” I enquire. “This is how the S.S. Julian is seen by other space travellers. The golden sheen is the force field and see in the centre you can see the body of the ship with its ring of bios.” Informs Helvi. Yes, I can see the ship but it looks like a giant penis. “Yes” says Helvi “Exactly”. Zark now she’s a mind reader, better keep it clean. “So Helvi is that what you wanted to show me?” I ask and as usual I won’t want to hear the answer. “Wait, there’s more” says Helvi. Oh, zark, not the steak knives I think to myself. Helvi continues “Sandy do you believe in BULLSHIT?” asks Helvi. “But Helvi bullshit is bullshit, you know crap, lies, made up stuff” I reply innocently. “No Sandy BULLSHIT stands for Binary Unit Locater Link Shifting Heuristically in Time”. Well zark me, space an acronyms must go hand in hand. “Never heard that bullshit before Helvi?” I answer as best as possible under the circumstances. “See Sandy, when we return to Earth you will arrive just days after you left using BULLSHIT” relates Helvi. “So Helvi are you telling me this whole thing is based around BULLSHIT?” “Exactly Sandy, egg zacally……”