“Da” ? “Da!”. Trotsky was not really giving his Russian much of a workout, which was fine by me since he’d already exhausted my extensive knowledge of the lingo. My surprise at discovering that the Hell’s Angles were led by Leon Trotsky was not inconsiderable, but it was not the full deal.
The steel entrance door snicked open and another familiar face sloped in.
“G’day Foodge” said O’Hoo as he flopped down in the chesterfield . “Lend us one of your Lucky Strikes”, he continued with the tobacco theme – much to the pleasure of a reminiscing Gez.
Now there was a man of iron. Not only was O’Hoo recently deceased, but he didn’t seem much put out with the new tattoo beaten into his arse cheek. He just flopped right down and totally ignored the dermal disruption.
“Thanks for coming over”. “My pleasure” I said, keeping an eye on Trotsky and his ice pick. But Trotsky was looking at O’Hoo as if he (O’Hoo) was Stalin – or more likely Beria. He was in his box and the crowd was looking to O’Hoo for the run of play.
I was starting to feel less like I was going to be shipped off to do some concreting on a Russian Mafia-owned building site; some foundation work, if O’Hoo was the big cheese at Highbury.
“Jesus”, I’ve got a splitter of headache. Do you have….” I pulled out my remaining aspirin… “Anything stronger”?. He was talking to the room more so than he was talking to me.
Pi handed over a small leather bag with the makings of a line or two. I was pretty sure it wasn’t Rinso. O’Hoo had only recently come back across the Styx, and now he was off for another dance with Morpheus. No wonder he wasn’t particularly worried about his new tatt.
This was starting to shape up like the cast list from War and Piece. Not Tolstoy’s epic“War and Peace”, but Gez and Mike’s attempts to get things published by Unleashed.
O’Hoo was skating along the edge of the local constabulary and playing first fiddle for the Hells Angles. Nice. A double agent. A double agent with a septum that flapped like a loose spinnaker in a stiff nor-easter. Not a good look for a copper. A dribbly snoz from a snorting habit.
O’Hoo was flying and suddenly wanted to revisit our night out. ‘Hey, Foodge. Let’s go back and score some more ink”. He said. It wasn’t a suggestion. It was an instruction.
“I have a score to settle with that bastard who gave us the spiked JW Reds”.
“What bastard was that ?”. My memory tape for last night was completely wiped.
“The fuckin’ one-armed guy. You remember ! The bastard in the cassock ! They were callin’ him Sandy”.
Things were taking a turn for the worse. I’m tagging along by “special invitation” with a speed-balling cop/Russian Mafia double agent in search of a one-armed drink-spiking priest called Sandy. I was a bit distracted. I’d forgotten about Trotsky. And I had nearly forgotten about my appointment with the blonde Miss Anne Thropy.[1]
[1] Astute readers will notice I changed the spelling of this character’s name to improve the pun. Don’t bother going back and checking, I’ve probably changed the previous one by now.

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Just read it again.
Fabulous.
Funny, funky and completely confused right the end.
You should seek out a book which has recently been re issued called “And The Hippos Were Boiled In Their Tanks” by Burroughs and Kerouac. I think you’d love it, for many reasons.
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Thanks, Waz. Chuffed I am. And confused 🙂
Thanks for the book recommendation. I shall Hunter S it down.
Cheers,
Emm
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“Not only was O’Hoo recently deceased, but he didn’t seem much put out with the new tattoo beaten into his arse cheek”
That has got to be the best line I’ve heard.
Brilliant Mikey
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Thanks, Hung. You’re welcome. Happy birthday for yesterday !
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Thanks Ace
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Oh, by the way, in the next episode we find that Belinda is reading a novel called Foodge
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Fifteen all. Your serve. Risk of story macramé. I’m having an O’Hoo party in my head, Hung. Cheers.
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DG O’Hoo is a legend in his/her own mind
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Hoo, I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you. I must suffer from ADDI (Attention Deficit disorder with Idiocy) or from being terribly unastute because, though I loved the telling of the story I could never get a grasp of what was going on!
I’m thoroughly impressed by Ooster who got enough out of it to give some detail of the demise of your protagonists… and with H who noticed the hat… and Algie who noticed the Belushi looks…
I’m aghasted by my own deficiencies! I wanna be as astute as Jules!
Good enough reason for a good cry on Mrs At’s ample… shoulders and a shot of ouzo!
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I am only a legend in my own mind Ato!
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Don’t fret ‘Mou, I’m still trying to figure WTFs going on. Gold subscribers will know that we should expect the interview with Miss Anne Thropy soon.
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Here some more on Leon Trotsky.
Study where the attack on Leon Trotsky took place.On August 20, 1940, Trotsky was attacked in his home in Mexico by a NKVD agent, Ramón Mercader, who buried the pick of an ice axe into Trotsky’s skull.[55]
The blow was poorly delivered and failed to kill Trotsky instantly, as Mercader had intended. Witnesses stated that Trotsky spat on Mercader and began struggling fiercely with him. Hearing the commotion, Trotsky’s bodyguards burst into the room and nearly killed Mercader, but Trotsky stopped them, laboriously stating that the assassin should be made to answer questions.[56] Trotsky was taken to a hospital, operated on, and survived for more than a day, dying at the age of 60 on August 21, 1940 as a result of severe brain damage.[57] Mercader later testified at his trial:
I laid my raincoat on the table in such a way as to be able to remove the ice axe which was in the pocket. I decided not to miss the wonderful opportunity that presented itself. The moment Trotsky began reading the article, he gave me my chance; I took out the ice axe from the raincoat, gripped it in my hand and, with my eyes closed, dealt him a terrible blow on the head.[56]
According to James P. Cannon, the secretary of the Socialist Workers Party (USA), Trotsky’s last words were “I will not survive this attack. Stalin has finally accomplished the task he attempted unsuccessfully before.”[58]
Leon Trotsky’s grave in Coyoacán, where his ashes are buried.[edit] Epilogue
Trotsky’s house in Coyoacán was preserved in much the same condition as it was on the day of the assassination and is now a museum run by a board which includes his grandson Esteban Volkov. The current director of the museum is Dr. Carlos Ramirez Sandoval under whose supervision the museum has improved considerably after years of neglect. Trotsky’s grave is located on its grounds.
Trotsky was never formally rehabilitated by the Soviet government, despite the Glasnost-era rehabilitation of most other Old Bolsheviks killed during the Great Purges. In 1987, under President Gorbachev, Trotsky was referred to as “a hero and martyr.” His son, Sergei Sedov, killed in 1937, was rehabilitated in 1988, as was Nikolai Bukharin. Above all, beginning in 1989, Trotsky’s books, forbidden until 1987, were finally published in the Soviet Union.
Trotsky’s grandson Vsievolod Platonovich “Esteban” Volkov (born 1926) is an active promoter of his grandfather and is close to the International Marxist Tendency founded by Ted Grant.
Trotsky’s great-granddaughter, Nora Volkow (daughter of Esteban Volkov), is currently head of the U.S. National Institute on Drug Abuse
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Gez, what was Trotsky’s batting average?
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Bless you Gez. Our random Porcine Universe throws up another pearl.
Many thanks, Emm.
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Hung One:
Not sure about his batting average
I believe his was very libidinous and his boner average was phenomenal.
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ato and Julian, I’m almost ROFLing here, you two are priceless today: ‘I am only legend in my own mind”. Me too, when I think about it…
I so hope the daughter’s dog will be OK.
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Trotsky settled in Mexico in 1936.
Never trust anyone O’ Hoo, blow out your own candles.
Stalin easily out-manouvred Trotsky and blew out his candle on the 20th of August, 1940.
The poor sod was fatally stabbed by an ice pick. Watch out for the Ramon Mercaders of this world.
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It’s a miracle.
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It is?
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Is it?
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O’Hoo looks a lot like John Belushi
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Algy, I think John Belushi looks a lot like O’Hoo
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Emm, another cool hat, love the pic…
My hairdresser was wearing a hat when saw him last, a nice bloke and the hat suited him.
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Don’t get too excited Gerard; the Russians are coming, all that ‘da,da’, and no doubt ‘nyet, nyet’ as well…no one has mentioned Sweaty-Lana yet..
No doubt she’s still in Dubai, more dollaria there, you see.
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I’m astute.
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Yes, you ARE, Jules.
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And probably a pain in the bum..
No don’t answer.
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Jules, I have looked up the dictionary and there is no such thing as an a stute?
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