Mr Chip Rolley

Artistic Director

Sydney Writer’s festival 2010

Dear Mr Chip,

Isn’t it exciting to know that the festival is coming again in May – and the program will be announced in April ?

Thank you for your kind letter giving me the opportunity to donate money to bring more international writers to the Sydney Writer’s Festival this year.  I note that you say that it costs between $5,000 and $25,000 (depending on where they are coming from – surely you meant to say ‘from where they are coming ?’ – and the class of travel).  Roughly $10,000 per writer.

Well, I found this just a tad rich, Chip.

Last year I managed a return airfare to Europe for $1,380 – lets call it $1,700 including insurance and bits.  OK, I admit, I was travelling cattle class.  And I certainly wouldn’t wish any writer worth his or her salt to fly all the way to the antipodes in anything less than a personal Lear jet fuelled by single malt whiskey and lubricated by Krug and Beluga.  And nobody expects them to camp out under the stars, sleep under a bridge or dine alfresco de Macca when they get here exhausted from their trip in from Pluto.

But the thing is, Chip, that the point of the appearance  of megascribes down under is that fans will line up for hours to have a copy of the magnum opus signed by their favourite literary giant.  You know, the copies for which they paid artificially inflated prices because of the ‘controlled’ import of books still famously protecting the top end of the Australian publishing industry’s authors.

Oh, and did I mention that these same faithful readers are expected to pay to get into the session so that they / we can get the opportunity to take a punt that an author might also be an informative and / or entertaining speaker ?  Such persons – writers who can speak entertainingly as well as write well do exist, I know, but in my estimation they’re rather few in number, Chip.

So, for my generous tax deductible donation, what might I expect ?  To subsidise the struggling Clive James’ whistle stop return to Oatley ?

And whom else ?  Might we fly in an unpaid ABC contributor from the Inner west and put him up at the Hilton ?

Or should we expect the TV and radio stations, newspapers (do they still exist ?),  magazines etc to offer a few bucks up as a kind of investment in their own bottom lines ?

Gosh, does the patient,  munificent and cashed-up reader’s generosity know no bounds ?

Perhaps you might consider renaming it the Sydney Reader’s Festival since we get to pay for it at every opportunity ?

If I wasn’t such a generous kind of cove, I’d think you were trying to have a lend of me, Chip, and I’d have to ask you to give it a rest, mate.