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The Pig’s Arms welcomes Algernon.
50th birthdays
I’m in the middle of a second wave of 50th birthdays for family and friends. Last week a family member rang to say that the police needed to be called to the 50th of one of their friends. Their 18 year old son had become violent due to a psychotic episode – related to taking drugs. The lad has been suffering with mental illness similar to Bi-polar disorder. His drug-taking started with smoking dope, I suspect, to ease the pressure of having to perform at top levels in sport and attending a school where none of his friends went. In the end, he was dealing at school. His parents have been doing their best to help him cope with his mental health issues, in silence for a number of years and they have only recently been aware of the dealing.
October was Mental Health month.
I bring this to you as I also have a child with mental health issues although illicit drugs are not the issue. This child was first diagnosed with depression at the age of nine. With good therapy they managed to excel for a few years. Recently after starting high school the wheels slowly started to fall off again. Off to the psychologist we went again and made improvements but not as quick as the first time. By last Christmas holidays there seemed to be much improvement. As the year progressed they slowly went downhill again. Around July anti-depressants were prescribed reluctantly, given the age of the child, however they seemed necessary. One day in August the child had a breakdown at school and was taken home. A parent was speaking on the phone, the child tells them that they loved them and went upstairs. The parent realizing the risk, immediately ends the call and follows after the child who by the time they got to them was attempting suicide.
We live in an area with some of the best mental health facilities in the country; however they seem to be overwhelmed by the high levels of mental health issues that affect the community. I can say that we’ve built a good support network around the child and they are now making good progress.
The hardest thing about dealing with this is watching the wheels slowly fall off, seeing them withdraw from the activities that they love and watch them just hang onto the small things that mean the most to them. As a family, life just seems to come to a standstill. Generally the family suffers in silence.
Even though people are more enlightened than in years gone by the stigma still remains. Given how prolific mental health issues are, one wonders why. You also are careful who you do and don’t confide in. Some of those you do will judge, most I’ve found are very supportive. Above all talking with others who are supporting gives an outlet to express yourself and how you’re coping.
We know that one day the child will improve and after recently changing friends who are encouraging to them for what they are has seen the mood change for the better.
Pic borrowed from http://asitoughttobe.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/sunday-poetry-series-presents-robert-archambeau/
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
Tonight Mrs Algernon and I went to the Opera House to see our two schoolage children perform. They were absolutely fantastic one of the highlights of the evening. Given that just 10 weeks ago one of them couldn’t even summon the courage to get on stage just bought a lump to the throat. I overheard them say that “I love performing”.
A good day and something to build on.
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Nice one, Algy.
I wrote a small piece for you.
Kind regards,
Emm
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Thanks Emm, such a simple act of kindness and love by Tim. Children are such a gift with all their idiosyncrasies.
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Hi Algernon. High School can be a hard thing. I hope your child can find something to give them pleasure. Thankyou for writing that.
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The thing is that there is things that do give them pleasure, it would be nice though if they could occasionally bask in there own sucess.
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People are often embarrassed to bask in their own success, it’s good to have a way to reflect it back to them when they need it again.
All those things they do now will also help them later.
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Sometimes you get a bit bogged down at these times. A friend was given the advice to make lists – not of the things you need to do, but of the things you’ve just finished doing. I find it enormously helpful. If school starts to get a bit stressful leading up to exams and stuff, maybe you could suggest that to them.
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– then they can measure their own success…..
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I was selected to represent the primary school at a public speaking contest in the small town of Gordonvale where I was raised. The women of the Country Womens Association (CWA) still appear brilliant when I review feeling awed by the kindness shown me, the elegance of the words spoken presenting me an award of the first prize and as well the accomplishment of the lady chairperson when addressing me at a festive table of refreshments.
The lady chair did not cause me to feel ‘big-headed’. I felt nurtured and instructed.
I hold a Rostrum title that has possibly not been bettered for successive years High School Open Champion speaker of Far North Queensland Public and Private schools, and I was regionally invited to present demonstration speeches.
It is likely possible after 5 years experience perhaps I needed to be excluded in my final year (age 16) from entry into an in-school Open public speaking competition, but I wasn’t and duly performed. It was a joyous experience. I was able to observe the audience delighted, humoured, curious, astonished, I read their faces well in lights reflecting off the stage area and at entire ease, whether I won held no meaning, I had a ball. Regardless I had a palm card, I forgot nothing only looking at it once to demonstrate the technique of its use. That was an unscripted move I was so at ease. I had arrived at the peak of my performance capability. At home now. That loud applause was meet appreciation.
One of the teachers came up and addressed me at the end with such a stunning comment in the excitement of his moment I felt serious doubt, “[My name], you will be the first female Prime Minister of Australia one day.”
The evening’s speeches concluded inclusive of the visiting digntaries’ and the report speech makers’, a choir I as well sang in performed, another convened by the Principal I played accompaniment piano for, it was time for the adjudicator’s to present their verdict on the PS competititon about which I only thought in terms I had won, and that was announced after the positions of third and second, by the adjudicators. The Principal asked to make a speech. He was full of himself. The person he said, who deserves to win these things, frequently doesn’t.
If it was left to him the awards would have been distributed differently. The student who is the most disadvantaged is the student he would award. Who stumbles, who has no confidence, and he eulogised the errors made as representing the ardours of a soul that is courageous. Still, his job was not to disagree with the arbiters whose experience in public speaking he could not contest, be it as it may they were invited to adjudicate. He could not do anything but accept the award of the prize as it was declared.
If a straight back and a head held high is evidence of courage I only wish I had a photo of myself in that moment to look at when I witness the many lows of human society and culture causative of depression. I had to walk on stage and shake that arsehole’s hand. Lucky for him I never achieved ‘first female PM’ or he would have been found clapped in irons. That’s an election promise. 🙂
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I know how you feel Lehan; I was handed my matric certificate by Alexander Downer, then monster for education, and I had to shake his hand too…
😉
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I got mine from a Post Office. When Dad and I went into town to do the food shopping. 🙂
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A burden whose weight you seldom fully appreciate at the time; probably part of a coping mechanism. Fully enjoying the good bits is a help.
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Eventually they will come out of this and we are seeing good signs of that at the moment. The older sibling at the same school is showing great maturity and being quite matter of fact with them with good results. I’ve learnt to celebbrate the small sucesses lately knowing that they will become the norm.
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Powerful stuff Algernon. For one who suffers from “The Black Dog” I read your story knowing of the heartache that it causes. Well done and keep them coming, Sandy insists 🙂
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Thanks Hung. I don’t though I know I vulnerable and need to keep positive, which I do (most the time).
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Just do what I do and write bullshit 🙂
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Seconded ! All in favour ?
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…and me!
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…awesome!
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Oops. Yes, Algernon, more!
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I have been reading Alan Bennett’s beautiful little book ‘A Life Like Other People’s’ ; amongst other things he writes about his mother’s sudden descent into depression and how it affected his family life… definitely worth a read.
(This book is part of his award winning collection Untold Stories. )
The idea of young kids suffering from depression is heart breaking…are we ever going to get a good mental health care in Australia?
Gerard’s schizophrenic brother Frank returned to Holland in his thirties and has been well cared ever since, after the horrors of Callan Park, the Rozelle Hospital.
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It was heartbreaking the first time around. I can compare our experiences this time with the last and have found the care better this time, certainly more affordable. There a many good mental health professionals out there it just that the workload is so great and affects so many. It would help if polititions just take a populist position on it. It looks great on paper but does nothing for those who suffer.
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Algernon, thanks for sharing with your fellow drinkers. I think it was Churchill who coined the word ‘blackdog’ for depression. His answer was to work hard, paint, wander through the countryside, and, drink a fair bit.
For many with depression, it’s not as easy as going for a walk, or doing something creative. It can be a crippling, even fatal disorder. Mrs M’s niece took her own life a few months ago. No-one knew of the depths of her depression. If anyone had they would’ve spent every waking moment to make sure she was OK.
We hope that all goes well with your family, and, if you want a virtual talk, or a real one (Emmjay’s got the contact details) give us a call.
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Algernon, I am hungry to read Pig’s Arms stories best times. More later of the sentimental stuff (‘funny’ stuff as in ‘strange’ in some books) about fondness for people’s writing and personalities we virtually know online, anyway.
I offer the information why I go online to the Arms rather than read contributors’ essays as they arrive in my inbox as email. It is to read each surrounded by the especial companionship of this virtual collective of the imagination.
That is a wonderful essay. Thank you for that essay. Your writing is very nice.
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Thank you shoe for your words of encouragement. I’m working on another piece at the moment a little less serious than this one.
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Thanks Big M for your kind words, I’m finding I more able to pick those a bit blue nowadays. A comforting word always helps a hug works wonders. My thoughts are with Mrs M and family.
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Thanks, Algernon. It really came home to me when we were at a family wedding, recently. Thinking that our niece would’ve loved this, she should be getting married, too, and so forth. Anyway, i sincerely hope that your child manages to develop strategies to maintain equilibrium. It’s always good to have a virtual Pink drink with you lot, and, as Ato has stated elsewhere, it would be great to share a real drink or a meal one day!
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