Mention the word ‘table’ (tavola) to an Italian and the implications are clear: family, food, laughter and above all, the excitement of conversation. The word ‘tavola’ could easily bring tears to any red blooded Italian, having been away too long from home.
But, mentioning the word ‘table’ to an Australian and someone might ask: Ikea, or have you inherited a “Parker Table”?
(This of course is not the only difference between Aussies and the European or other nationals. But, as they say in Russia, Viva La Difference!)
A curious form of isolating oneself, at times, from the outside world persists here more than anywhere else that I know of.
Perhaps the words ‘Own Home’ demonstrate this difference. Am I right in thinking that those two little words would conjure up for Australians what the word ‘tavola’ does for the Italian?
The words ‘Own Home’ for us Australians is the need for the world of absolute ‘privacy’. Perhaps, to our Anglo forbearers, their ‘Own Home’ was their castle – up with the drawbridge and just in case of anything or anyone unwanted, they had the back up of a moat to keep out intruders, including any unannounced visitors.
While the drawbridge and moat have gone, we have substituted them with the paling fence, and now the impenetrable colour bond aluminium partition fence, blocking even the remotest chance of seeing a neighbour, or worse, a neighbour seeing us.
Some ‘own homes’ now have total block-out metal electric window shutters. Perhaps in the future they will do away with the need to have any windows at all.
We used to run a self contained farm cottage that we let to anyone at weekends. It iwas miles from neighbours and we lived also well away.
When the Europeans came to stay, they kept everything open – doors, curtains, and weree quickly outside, keen to strike up a conversation. The Aussies drew curtains as soon as they arrives.
The need for ‘privacy’ seems to overwhelm everything, even when it means blocking the glorious country views and light. Perhaps they were impatiently waiting to jump into bed for a bit of an old fashioned quickie, but so would the red blooded Europeans, would they not?
We had a couple celebrating 40 years of marriage. Surely they would want to relax, unpack and watch cricket, go to the loo, or do something decent first? No, the curtains closed soon after arrival.
With the culture of one’s ‘Own Home’ comes another curious phenomenon. You rarely actually see anyone outside in their gardens and I am buggered if I know how Aussies maintain their gardens so spotlessly. The petunia borders are all weed free. The lawn is in absolute submission and not a leaf is allowed a minute’s rest in the guttering.
Back about fifty years ago, we lived in a new Sydney suburb called Revesby, near Bankstown in NSW. A neighbour would, at weekends only, climb on his roof and sweep the shiny ‘Wunderlich’ glazed tiles clean of bird shit, deposited generously by my brother’s pigeons. It was the only time we actually saw him outside, ever.
These days, if you want to see people enjoying their outside garden areas, one has to go to the suburbs of mainly Italian or Greek inhabitants. In Sydney, the Middle Eastern areas are probably the best place to see outdoor activity – people hanging over the fence, kids playing on the streets, the burning of rubber by over-excited youths, and a general feeling of excitement or ‘things happening’.
Now we come to the tricky ‘Unleashed contributors’ bit. Is it also this ‘privacy’ thing that sees so many people writing under nick names, often even changing their names as they go along? Is it safer to write something a bit controversial under the guise of a nick name?
What is the answer to all this nonsense?
![7263101cl1253852309[1]](https://pigsarms.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/7263101cl125385230911.jpg?w=529)
As I’ve revealed previously, I’m living in the house that my late parents bought in 1954.
It’s the house I “grew up” in (inasmuch as I can claim that status) and even though I lived in Redfern for 25 years, this was always “home” – “my place”. It fits like one of those comfortable old coats that’s been properly broken in by wind and weather. It’s comforting like no other place on the face of the planet.
It’s where I belong.
I know just where the stone lies upon which I carved my initials at the age of 12. I know it’s still there and I don’t need to look at it regularly to believe that.
There’s another stone, leaning against the bole of a tree in the back yard. It’s right where Dad left it when he stopped working on it. The tree has started to grow around it, overlapping the top, sharp edge the way a spilled pancake batter softens the edge of a cutting board on the kitchen table. There’s no need to move it. It was going to be used in a project that never eventuated but that’s no excuse to disturb something that’s already in its place.
In the magickal community, there’s a concept of “egregore” which can also be thought of as “time in”. The longer one owns a possession, the more mana it accumulates and consequently the more valuable it becomes – but only to oneself.
I did my travelling by the time I turned 40. I saw what I wanted to see and I have no need to revisit that.
I have few visitors and I go off the property infrequently. I neither need to, nor want to do so.
So, gerard – I’m one of those Anglo-heritage people who values my privacy. I do not like the thought of anybody peering through my windows and passing silent judgement on me and my habitat. I keep my curtains drawn more often than not, even though the glass in the windows is that “bubbled” glass which distorts the view inside. (Anyway, it’s cooler with the curtains drawn in a Sydney summer and I refuse to own an air conditioner)
I don’t actively discourage any potential visitors, but neither do I daily destroy and sweep away the homes of the Orb Weavers who spin their webs from side to side across my front path. I’ve only ever had one visit from the evangelists and proselytisers. Perhaps a faceful of spiderweb is a trifle discouraging. (grin)
Thanks be to Arachne and her children.
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Living on the farm, I learned to ‘hate’ flies and to love spiders. The outside corners of our windows had plenty of spider webs which I was not allowed to clean away, after all they were full of dead flies, and the only good flies are the dead ones…
After selling the farm we had to rent something as our new place was still tenanted. We left the place in Mossvale spic and span, but the estate agent complained about us having left the spider webs outside intact. I told her firmly that they were there when we moved in ( we were the first tenants), and that I wanted leave the place as I had found it.
She was surprised that I had not complained about webs. I could not be bothered to tell her that I actually liked them.
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Of course I did not equate having open windows with passers by peering through your window’s panes of glass and passing judgement. Why would they do that?
Neither am I passing judgement on those behind closed windows. I was just pointing out a difference. ( viva la difference)
I suppose that the habit of closing out the outside world might be of comfort to some in the same way that other might want to include the outside world.
I did like your writing of the tree growing around the stone.
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We’ve seen an expansion of internal space as people have built bigger homes that encompass their gardens. People say it’s because we want bigger and bigger possessions, but I wonder if it’s privacy. Our homes are reflecting our brains. Curtains are evocative of veils across our eyes. But it’s now considered bad form to get angry, uncivil to disagree, unneighbourly to make noise. So it’s no wonder we retreat inside our heads and our living rooms.
A young German student came to stay and would wander through the house in his underpants. As the resident of the house was a woman 20 years older then him I thought that inappropriate, but an American friend who had lived in Germany explained that it was quite usual. But I don’t think he displayed much common sense – surely even in Germany people would question the situation? But visiting is always different from living somewhere. I think my friends in Germany had some freedom they lacked in Australia. But I think they still kept an awareness of boundaries. An awareness of boundaries carries with us. Perhaps your local guests were being polite to you and your international guests didn’t care, being so far away from home?
People warn you not to use your real name on the internet. Which is false security, as you can be traced quite easily and may seem insincere. Such problems only arise after a period where things seemed trouble-free though. Based on past experience I thought there might be trouble – and so I kept everything simple. Having had trouble with my public space I am trying to keep my private space as wide as possible. People are welcome to know the worst of me.
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Hello Lehan,
I don’t think that I was advocating walking around in underpants as a way of breaking the ice at a social gathering or opening a society.
We had many students staying with us in inner city Balmain. They inevitably commented how they felt lonely without seeing any people about. That’s what they missed most.
Now, Balmain is regarded by locals as overcrowded and densely populated. Of course it is not compared with most normal cities.
On top of hardly seeing any throngs of people about, those that did live in Balmain locked themselves away behind blinds, curtains and slid in and out of their homes with the help of the remote garage door.
We Anglos are very people shy except when getting sloshed. Perhaps that’s why we get sloshed.
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This student was a skateboarder. I was a bit worried about giving him anything to drink lest he fell off. Very sweet, when he was clothed.
People get so caught up in an idea of what they are. Australians thinking they’re outgoing and relaxed. People here still believe they live harmoniously amongst nature. Ahuh.
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(I wish I lived there)
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Of course, young men in their underpants I can’t say I have a problem with. Sadly I’m old enough that’s it’s wise not to see them any more. It’s just when they are students, and I am their teacher, and they are staying in my house that common sense becomes an issue.
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You’d like my house Gerard. Curtains only closed at night when it is very cold (winter). Door never locked unless we are away for more than a day. You know why I don’t use my real name on Unleashed – it was stolen. But I do not use my full name as I don’t want my family to be associated with what I write as I had a ghastly experience with our local paper.
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But then again, you are outside the norm, outspoken and speaking your mind. I am sure I would like your house. I imagine it to be very cosy and intimate.
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Thanks for that Gerard. House is not big as you know but it is pretty much open plan with lounge, dining, my office and kitchen all on view and only bedrooms and bathroom with closed doors etc. Lots of windows (and big ones) with views. I wouldn’t call is cosy but it is very friendly – all there to be used (and yes, it is getting a big worn). It is also unique – I designed it myself.
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Sorry about typos – call it cosy. bit worn.
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Gerard, thank you for putting up a picture of pink room on the farm, or as the five year old Thomas called it, the talking room.
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That’s a wonderful room. It looks so relaxed and relaxing. Perfect for reading or, as Thomas has correctly determined, talking. Big soft couch, blazing open fire. (No TV!)
I still don’t understand why you left.
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The rains came after we sold the farm, the Wollondilly river looked like The Nile when we were last in the neighbourhood…
Before that I managed to keep the huge garden lush and green by saving every drop of grey water, and/or pumping it from the river into the dams and from the dam to the garden…
We had massive electricity bills and I had massive muscled upper arms 🙂
I loved the place, and still do, and it was love at the first sight. Funnily , Gerard writes about the British and their curtains, yet it was a house of a lovely English antique dealer that got me to live in the country….
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