Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay
When you need a car, or you need a job, you should take what you can. Not having a car can be just annoying, and not having a job can lead to death by starvation. That’s not what I’m talking about here with the Settle-For-Lest. The Settle-For-Lest is what you do when you are afraid to lose a dream. You really want to do this, or really want to do that. But it might be big – too big – and the consequence of gaining it might be that your dream gets destroyed in the rubble of reality. So you avoid it, you find an excuse. Lest you get it. Getting a dream is much worse than having a dream; I can tell you that from experience. And I am convinced that you know that feeling. Any small thing we pine for, however momentarily is a danger.
That’s why I am so happy with my red shoe dream. Not the best shoe. Just the best shoe that I could want. My feet loved those shoes. I loved my feet with those shoes. And if I were to forget about them, I would also have to forget that I had feet. Never notice them, never see them. Always have some generic nice picture of what my feet were. Forget about how I had feet that had those shoes on. And forget about the person I was when those shoes were on my feet.
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
I often wonder what I’d do if I won millions.
The dream inevitably involves some modifications to the house and garden, perhaps a sports car and motorcycle in the garage, but, then, not many changes; same wife, same kids (who may be quite comfortable by this stage), same friends, same interests, same beaches.
Perhaps more time to blog??
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I had an aunt who won a boystown home. She once described it to me as the worst thing that happened to her.
I’m sure she didn’t always feel that way, but it didn’t appear to be the blessing she’d expected.
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I suppose you need a boy to move there, huh ? Was she forced into adoption and a life of perpetual gratitude after that ? Sounds like a lesson of which we should all take note.
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I had an uncle (deceased) who won the Opera House lottery in the 60’s. He and my aunt invested wisely, and lived long, productive lives.
My ex’s grandparents also won a lottery in the 60’s. they managed to blow the lot., then had to move to successively smaller houses to finance their gambling addiction!
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Anyway, is winning millions your dream, M? Maybe a dream, but surely not one of the dreams?
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Good picture and inspiring words, Lehan.
I read this today and feel I have to share these lovely sentiments by Pooh, from The House at Pooh Corner:
And “What do you like best in the world, Pooh?”
‘Well,”said Pooh, “what I like best…”, and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.
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I think it’s called “foreplay”
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Surely “foreat”?
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I wonder why he always wanted more, Helvi, if the reality was never as good as the anticipation.
Perhaps you can fill us in there Emmjay.
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Lehan, I always love planning and thinking about a trip overseas.
Yet the trip is NEVER as good as I anticipated.
I think the anticipation is the culprit here.
We all have to become Buddhists and stop craving and wishing…live in the moment.
As is, is 🙂
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Floreat, surely?
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Gotta Serve Somebody
Words and Music by Bob Dylan
performed by
Judy Collins
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYam0tQfPrU
You may be an ambassador to England or France
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody
You might be a rock ’n’ roll addict prancing on the stage
You might have drugs at your command, women in a cage
You may be a businessman or some high-degree thief
They may call you Doctor or they may call you Chief
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody
You may be a state trooper, you might be a young Turk
You may be the head of some big TV network
You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame
You may be living in another country under another name
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody
You may be a construction worker working on a home
You may be living in a mansion or you might live in a dome
You might own guns and you might even own tanks
You might be somebody’s landlord, you might even own banks
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody
You may be a preacher with your spiritual pride
You may be a city councilman taking bribes on the side
You may be workin’ in a barbershop, you may know how to cut hair
You may be somebody’s mistress, may be somebody’s heir
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody
Might like to wear cotton, might like to wear silk
Might like to drink whiskey, might like to drink milk
You might like to eat caviar, you might like to eat bread
You may be sleeping on the floor, sleeping in a king-sized bed
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody
You may call me Terry, you may call me Timmy
You may call me Bobby, you may call me Zimmy
You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray
You may call me anything but no matter what you say
You’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody
Copyright © 1979 by Special Rider Music
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I imagine a Zen thought – that where there is a lack of desire, there can be happiness. Put another way – desire (particularly unfulfilled desire) leads to unhappiness.
If, for example, I desire to drive a Ferrari, I may sell my house and buy one. Or, try a better approach – rent one for a couple of days. Which is what I did. It was a total blast. And when I took it back, that desire had been well and truly satisfied.
Footnote: It is quite a beautiful design, IMHO, and the sound of the highly-strung V8 engine a few inches behind one’s ears is stirring to say the least. It was fantastic at acceleration and cornering (well, at my driving speeds – “too scared to ding it and get stuck with the (can you believe this?) $10,000 excess on top of the insurance I had already paid – for just the weekend). And I had to undertake never to leave it unattended – parked in a locked hotel under cover car park. Some people hate Ferrari drivers with a passion.
So, Lehan, my dream was red too. It ate over $100 of petrol in two days. And it has gone away forever. I am free of it. And happy I went there for a little while. I settled for the best – but only for a little while 🙂
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What a great story! We can’t always rid ourselves of desire – that’s part of its power. But I guess desire does have some malleability, and we can make good use of it.
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I had a friend who thought the same about beautiful women.
He’s had withdrawal pains for years now.
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