Surely, nothing can be more satisfying than when standing at an ATM and those glorious notes start to appear through the narrow slot, which then continue on their outwards travel to finally end up firmly clasped into one’s  waiting palm. Isn’t it amazing that by feeding a machine a plastic card and a few numbers, the machine produces money? I am always put into a good mood when this wonder of technology happens. It’s almost as if the machine is saying, “You have been a good boy, here is your reward.” It’s so reassuring to know the world is OK and all is well.

Apparently, our bank card technology is inferior to the rest of the world and gangsters make their way to Australia by the plane- load to capitalize on this inferior technology and cash in by copying the card number, even pin numbers. They somehow manage to delve into your transaction by sticking something above the key pad, and bingo. Next your account is empty. I believe the identification methods overseas doesn’t involve our system of pin numbers  and are far superior, less easily corrupted. This is why gangsters became so miffed over there, that, like bees to honey, they start to invade our shores to take advantage of our less sophisticated weaker systems. Next time you see someone loitering near your ATM, be alarmed and very frightened.

It seems that banks are keen on profits but not so keen to upgrade. Instead of a better more advanced technology warding off potential criminals, we get those messages on the ATMs with “Who is watching?” together with “Always cover your Keypad.” This makes me somewhat paranoid, especially when I turn around and see an old lady with a walking frame watching me .Could she just be pretending to be old?  Or is she going to knock me down with her walking frame and steal my notes?

 Even more challenging is to key in the pin numbers while covering the key pad. At my bank there is a picture of a Jack Russell that jumps up. Is there some clue there perhaps? I try and cover the whole machine and block out as much to the outside world as possible, even look up into the machine to see if there is some device spying on my card. I find that if I remember the outlay of the keypad I can indeed type in the 4 pin numbers and keep the pad totally covered. It requires practice but at least nothing gets stolen or copied and the Jack Russell picture vanishes as an extra bonus and encouragement.

When I finally have the money and receipt I still linger and nervously stash the money in my wallet. I then walk away, carefully avoiding looking the old lady in the eye. You never know! I then look around to see anything suspicious going on elsewhere before ripping the receipt in shreds and putting it in my pocket as well.

 It all makes for a very suspicious world and somehow takes the previous happy glow off this whole transaction. I don’t dare to leave the receipt in that little slot below the key-pad even if ripped up. There must be a good reason for all the banks to warn to keep the keypad covered up. Surely, any good credit-card forger/hoodlum could decipher and get something out of my torn receipt?

I can’t imagine what the sophisticated tourist would make out of those ATM warnings? Last week there was a lot of media focused on the billions made by banks on ripping off their own customers. The focus was on banks using ATMs as a cash cow which gets milked every time you use it away from you own bank. I must say I have difficulty defending that one on behalf of customers though. Provided you always use the allowable number of ATM’s withdrawals and use your own bank’s provided ATM, the transactions are free… I knew about that years ago and always make sure that there are no charges by using my own bank’s ATM.  Anyone who had the good fortune of overseas travel would know we are provided with more banks and their branches that you can poke a stick at. Try walking around Amsterdam and find a bank with an ATM. You might think a brightly lit window is an ATM but getting closer you could easily be tempted into a different kind of happy transaction all together. Be careful of Amsterdam as well!

 However, I am more than willing to concede I am of a generation where we were all brought up on a very healthy dose of frugality. It went together with drinking water and eating Uncle Toby’s Oats for breakfast. Sadly, both frugality and drinking water have disappeared and Uncle Toby is dying