Hello. Hung One On (HOO) here. Look, all this brouhaha about religion has sent me to the far corners of the earth to interview our own parish priest form the inner western suburbs of Inner Cyberia Father “Sandy” O’Way (FOW). As two intellectual giants we will battle it out about religion, God and life after death. Here’s a transcript.
HOO: So Sandy, all this stuff in the media lately about religion over at the old Unleashed, you know about how Chaplains are being placed in schools and how they may proselytize?
FOW: Sorry Hung but I take deep offence that you accuse us of us having sex with little boys.
HOO: No, Sandy, that’s paedophilia, I mean proselytize.
FOW: If you think that I’m going to get dressed up in black suspenders and stockings and stand on a corner then you have another thing coming.
HOO: No, Sandy, that’s prostitution, I mean proselytize.
FOW: We can never be guilty of that however we usually do this, convert someone to another religion or opinion; convert to another religion or faith; enlist someone to one’s cause (also proselytise) . Get the picture?
HOO: So Sandy, the big one, is there a God?
FOW: Well, there’s a Gordon but don’t know about God.
HOO: Is there life after death?
FOW: No, unless you owe the tax office.
HOO: What do you think about the articles posted by Astyages an atomou concerning their views on Greek mythology?
FOW: Isn’t it marvellous watching two geniuses arguing over absolute bullshit, I mean they take bullshit to a new level. I mean the different side of the river bank, cut me to pieces that one.
HOO: Hmm, Do you speak with God?
FOW: Oh, shit yeah, all the time, I have his number in my mobile, lets talk to him.
GOD: Hello God, here, Gordon O’Donnell [GOD]
HOO: Er, Hung here God, there has been a bit of a storm here lately about religion and you know the big one, life after death, that sort of thing and I was wondering if I could get your view on these issues?
GOD: Jesus Hung, pretty big subjects but let me see, religion is the choice of the individual but should be kept away from kids, life after death, well sort of, I’d probably give you two to one on but you probably just die, well sort of, you know what I mean.
HOO: But Gordon, that sounds like you are trying to have a bit each way?
GOD: Well Hung, I’m not dead yet so I can’t answer the question, anyway got to go, watching 25 years of The Bill.
Whew, heady stuff. Anyhoo I’ll sign off, Hung One On, Inside his House, No Where.
PS: For Warrigal, hopefully a smile has been delivered by the good Father.