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The Art of lying in the bed of your own making.
January 16, 2012

We usually start off in life from a bed or if not a bed, something soft. Not many mothers would give birth to a baby on top of rocks or on a push bike. When the birth pain arrives and the waters break, a comfortable soft and safe place is what most would prefer. This is where you all started. That tabernacle of life. Of course, about nine months earlier there would have been some kind of mating going on, hopefully consensual and perhaps even loving. The glorious pleasure of two becoming one, limbs entwined with a joining that seems to be what most of us will also seek, once we have left the birthing bed, and grown up as well. Perhaps also a few of us might well be a result of illicit love affairs conducted with passion on the finery of satin sheets with Lilies of the Valley carefully embroidered. Perhaps blue irises on down pillows featured beneath the thighs of a voluptuous woman giving into complete rapture to her ardent lover…?
Perhaps, doing the rounds amongst those Vinnie’s fashion items from the past, we re-discover those sweet scents, those delicate fragrances of bygone years of the many souls of evaporated lovers. It’s all so long ago now. How did we fare since leaving the bed of our birth mothers, having to make our own? Do we still carry around and live off the love of rose petals strewn around so abundantly and carefree at our beginning?
Can anyone understand people buying new beds, beds to which no memories or cares are attached? I made our own bed from Oregon pine more than fifty years ago. It is still as good now as it was then and travelled with us between continents and cities many times. Our bed as would many of those belonging to others withstood the storms of tempestuous oceans as well as the joys of soothing, weaving grassy meadows strewn with buttercups.
It seems such an awful telling sign of those discarded beds that are now featuring at many a shopping centre car-park. People must, perhaps at the dead of the night, get up and lash the hated mattress on to the top of their Holden Ute, dump their beds. There are clear signs at those charity collection bins not to leave bedding. Yet, it seems the temptation to get rid of beds overcomes the warnings, and the soiled and stained remnants of bedding and dead loves are left there. At any given time there must be those, so utterly disappointed in what those beds produced, they feel the urgent need to jettison those hated items of joyless nights and loathsome sad embraces. They drive, looking for the graveyards of hopeless loves and hateful congress but end up in the grey concrete of Westfield’s car-park or the Vinnie’s bin in front of Woolies.
Is it not so true that we deserve the beds that we lie in?
Tags: Bed.Congress, Iris., Lily of the Valley
Posted in Gerard Oosterman | Edit | Leave a Comment »
Make of this what you will but my hubby actually wears out beds and chairs. He is not big or fat either.
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Vivienne:
Hubby alone wears out beds! And you levitate above the bed? Sounds pretty kinky to me.
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It is odd. It is his side of the bed which wears out. Current bed is the most expensive one we have had and is holding up better than past ones.
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Gerard, Tutu had the bed and side cabinets made out of blackwood, absolutely beautiful. When she left I told her to take them but her new abode was too small, I felt sad as she was the furniture buff not me. I would give them to her today if circumstance ever changed.
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Hope you still have them. If you do, it might be a good omen. Don’t chuck it out. Home-made beds are the best and not just for sleep.
I have lived in a few countries but have never seen mattresses and beds being chucked out as much as here. What’s going on? Don’t they last or is there something a lot more sinister going on?
It could well be that people move around a lot with 6 months leases being normal. When they move and don’t have a Ute or roof-rack, perhaps they just buy a new bed and chuck the old ones at Woollies when nobody is looking. I have seen night drivers with mattresses on the roof, going around and around.
We saw a Ute this morning with cane chairs, a washing machine and a double mattress. The driver looked at me as if he knew I was watching. He looked very pale and sad!
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No, I will never chuck them out Gez, the mattress I will change as needed but the furniture itself is beautiful.
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Put the brake on those waters, gerhard.
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I just had them re-lined too.
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There was I, proactive, immediately looking for a Mary Coughlan version of ‘There is a bed’. And since. Can’t be found.
Gez, you’re writing some wonderful stuff in my books. Good ending paragraph too.
CHOICE PICK: “…the graveyards of hopeless loves and hateful congress.”
Thank you.
‘Shoe. 🙂
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I particularly liked ‘the souls of evaporated lovers’…
🙂
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Would that it were possible to carry around and live off only ‘the love of rose petals strewn around’. 🙂
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U no, I have bean trough sow much butt kmow one cares
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Nice to see you back Asty. Glad you liked those words. How are you going?
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Depressed, Gerard… times when one confronts exactly what kind of an asshole one is/has been/is highly likely to remain, are especially tough.
This week I’ve been instructed by my shrink, Charlotte, to think about what I’d like to have said about me when I die (cheerful sort isn’t she?). I have to see her again tomorrow and I still don’t really know… or much care…
The question immediately arises, ‘said by whom?’ and I really can’t think of many people outside this porcine establishment for whose opinions I would give a foetid dingo’s kidney… and even those belonging to our precious pocine patronage are purely for perusal, please, with a large pinch of salt…
Another questions is, ‘Why would I care about people’s opinions any more after I’m dead, than I did while I was alive?’ The answer to this, is, of course, is simply that we all gotsta live together… especially when thrown together in high-density housing with no soundproofing… but I find no comfort in it…
Outside the PA, there is only my son and granddaughter (assuming my Mum has passed on, by that stage, although the truth is, she looks like outliving all her kids, me included) who will much care about my passing, though a few cousins may mutter a few appropriate mournful mouthfuls when they belatedly get wind of my demise… and David (don’t call me) Jr can keep his opinions; I know what they’re worth… and 9-year-old Lavinnia really doesn’t know me well enough to have any real opinions, though hopefully she’ll remember a kind grandad…
I think in any case, I have already given her the best answer: that they’ll say ‘Matilda’s’ was the ‘great Aussie novel’ even though it is to be set in London (and has yet to be written…) or else that I get some kind of recognition for the contribution of ‘Aesthetics of Violence’ to the current ongoing socio-philosophical debate.
Nothing else would mean anything anyway… unless its to be found in the lyric to an old Bob Dylan song:
“A thousand miles from home;
And he never harmed no-one…
(And he was a friend of mine…)”
Wonder what the piglets would say at my funeral…
🙂
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“I told you I was sick” Spike Milligan
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Asty, sorry I didn’t respond earlier to your interesting piece about your situation. I meant to. Having been offline for so long it is taking me a while to get around all the places I want to be, but the laptop is giving up on life (speaking of funerals 🙂 ).
I fear I will be offline again for a while. Perhaps I have a conflict with software and I spent days, not hours, doing all I could to stabilise the system. Three years on, the laptop has to go to the specialist up the main street for an overhaul and I do wish, anyway, I had a desktop,
I suspect a new fan and surely, a new battery. I might come out of there with a rental one to go on with, on a good deal. My experience to date is that they are very decent people.
Since I have been away for almost 12 months, I have plenty of experience that tells me I was right to leave the suburban beach road I was cast on the edge of by circumstance beyond my immediate control. There were no other rental properties available in the rental bracket when I went to live there. Here there is a pretty steady stream of properties that come available in the bracket so it comes to particular mind that I am relieved of a good deal of anxiety about choice.
Depression, certainly, is easily fanned into a bush fire of it by not having choices for all the reasons we know of, having shared conversation with you and knowing your societal view from what I have read of your excellent writing. And there is certainly choicelessness engendered in many areas of decision making when someone has a crook leg. I am so sorry you have had to continue to endure problems with your leg that are add-ons, like having it broken as an adjunct to ‘treatment’. Particularly I am sorry (not pity!) you are surrounded where you are by a built-up environment. You so wanted to believe it would be OK when you were offered an alternative to a second floor level and so glad about the persons who assisted you transit. Myself, I am subject to despair thinking on how slow the response seemed to have initally been when you were driven into by a vehicle, thus losing your mobility and finding yourself living with chronic pain, and marooned on that second floor first up. How cruel I think.
My own family is an insecure entity. I understand the situation. Depression references always remind me as well of an article I read claiming a lot of us are remnants of twins, one of which early did not survive (no-one knows about!) …and wondering how much of the sense of loss that those of us who experience depression endure is the result of being a twin. Quixotic thought. I just do think on’t.
Of course I anticipate the howls of derision of anybody reading this who may be unkind or poorly affected by any life choice I have ever made, that of course I experience the sense of loss because of this or that life decision I have made that is specific to their ultimate (unhappy) understanding of who and what I am. What? I would ask, given fair opportunity to respond to derision, am I not allowed my own humanness, my own speculative life, my own consequences without the intervention of personalised attacks irrelevant to depression being a life thwarter, a true downer, and for some unfortunately a life sentence.
One of the advanatges of acquiring years, ironic as it is, is to find I can manage depression so much better than I could as a young woman subject to the excessive strains of making a living, maintaining a roof over the heads of self and dependants, being responsible to ageing parents as far as one could excercise responsibility and/or knew how to. The list could go on. Money. All very well if we lived in a society that truly rewarded ingenuity and inventiveness, integrity and striving.
I hope you get some value out of your visits to the psychiatrist. May you take what you are told with the same healthy grain of salt. May your good humour stand you in the best stead of all …and your incredible ability to write. 🙂
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Nice one Shoe,
Doesn’t Mark look like Boy George? Even a very youthful Picasso or Marcelle Marceau?
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Good song shoe, hadn’t heard this one before. Has a feel of Leonard Cohen
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I am glad you enjoyed it, both of you and that I was able to contribute it to your repetoire of songs and lyrics. Amazing I had been thinking how bereft of song ideas I seemed to be.
Yes, Gez! Reminiscent of Boy George! Marcel Marceaulike! I hadn’t thought.
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