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Cartoon borrowed from Mitt Nerraw - http://mitnerraw.wordpress.com/category/mit-nerraws-cartoon-blog/
The Editor
Sydney Morning Herald
Dear Sir or Madam or Gina.
I’m sorry to not address you by name. I know it’s impolite, but I tried to find out your name from the website: it’s apparently a secret – or the editorship changes so frequently that the web master isn’t prepared to commit to posting it by random selection from a database of Australian journos.
Anyway, after you’ve read this subscription cancellation, perhaps you might like to hand it on to the circulation people who doubtlessly are experienced in handling these things.
I apologise for being so pissweak that I can no longer cope with the once great paper’s slide into massive negativity. In short, I have to stop reading the paper for my own mental well-being. After considerable thought I have decided that I really do not benefit from you telling me all the shit that is happening in the world – from the micro (e.g. death of a child from neglect despite the child being well-known to DoCS), the meso – NSW Police unable to deal effectively with the daily afternoon drive by shooting to the macro – the killings in – pick a location – say Syria today.
And the illusion you are creating of massive economic oblivion – unspecified but shit-scary, eh ? Riots in Greece. 500 QANTAS workers getting the shaft, a thousand bank staff to help maintain record profits – so we can be serviced from some tin shed call centre in a third world country where string and barb-wire repairs are considered luxuries and super glue is unheard-of. Keep that profit up, advertisers !
The puzzling thing, despite people at my work walking around oozing fear of retrenchment (thanks to you and the other media), looming unemployment is given the lie by the fact that employment statistics are stable. I’m not suggesting that you are lying to us, Gina. But hey, prove to me that you’re not being just a tad selective with the truth. I heard two dudes on the train yesterday talking enthusiastically about how the “new grads” were about to start at their organisation and that they were excellent candidates.
Maybe this kind of news eludes your posse of seekers of truth. Must have this time, I guess.
I know that you think the Rudd Gillard shenanigan / farce / farrago / imbroglio is a kind of light relief, which might be qualitatively true except that the alternative is some kind of Dalek in swimming trunks. It’s not funny, Gina. It’s sad beyond belief.
And depressing.
So depressing.
So, in the balance, how much worse off will I be by not paying any more for you to bring me down when every day I open the front door only to be confronted by screaming headlines about some parliamentarian who fucks prostitutes, cheery fad diet tips from vacuous stars and pouting photographs of Marieke Hardy ?
Clearly, when you chew on it for a while, cancelling your subscription is as healthy as laying off salt, fat, sugar, alcohol, tobacco and as good as a weekend on a Zen retreat.
I suggest you try it too.
Good luck going forward.
Emmjay.
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
http://manly-daily.whereilive.com.au/news/story/abbott-pedals-charity/
HUH!
He pedals for charity! (Is he mad?) I’m in it for me & the good ol boys.
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I don’t know a single blackfella with a good word for Abbott. Not one. In fact a quick ring round the usual suspects pegs Abbott’s lycra ride as nothing more than political posturing, a pointless photo op attempting to redress the utter contempt aboriginal Australians feel for him and the coalition in general. But don’t expect the supine mainstream press to report that. They’re already preparing undeserved superlatives and hyperbole for the expected upcoming Abbott win; a narrow, mean spirited, anti-modern win that will cement in place the privelige of the wealthy, deepen the tax feedlot that is the middle class, while the marginalised will once again go to the devil in a handbasket; because, as every Liberal since Menzies has “known”, if you’re poor, disadvantaged or disenfranchised it’s because you’re no good, lazy and probably a gay communist green.
Only a congenital idiot would think that Abbott is leadership material for anything other than a catholic men’s prayer group; and even there he might be seen as out of date. I suppose ignorance realy is bliss for some.
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“catholic men’s prayer group” now that would be an oxymoron I think, Waz.
The thing is the Labor party is handing this to Adolf Turd on a plate. Just think, he, the volumtious windbag, the voice of the 1920’s, the highland bint, not to mention lurch and that evil little Senator from Tasmania and the rest of the motley brain dead in charge.
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I’m happy to pay for Gina’s haircut and for her hopefully slimming gym sessions…I’m happy to do a make over for free…poor woman, you can’t appear in public looking like that….
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I’d rather pay for her cremation, provided it’s done imminently.
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You mean to say that you actually had a subscription to that fish wrapper????? That was money down the draIn wasn’t it?
Years ago we used to buy it on a Monday for the TV program but now you can get that for free online, along with a broader, better take on any news story the fading dailies run.
We recycled the old papers by using them to light the fire. These days though, what with the unstoppable tide of advertising and shameless political bias masquerading as rubbish locals we now get from both the Moloch and Fairfucked, we don’t even need it for that.
Newspapers eh? They were a good idea once but you’re absolutely right; these days who needs the emotional and psychic trauma of some over opinionated journalist offering his editor and owner’s position on how to mantain profits by tryng to convince us all that without the owner or editors opinion our entire lives might slide into bedlam.
Which I’m more than convinced we are capable of negotiating on our own.
As for Gina; she seems like another badly damaged human trying to take her neuroses out on the nation. Just more of the, “Mine it’s all mine!” kind of thinking that has characterised the past few decades. She’s a troll, a troglodyte, a harpy, and just one of a number of very rich, very priveliged and very connected sociopaths that are trying to forge a new, different kind of Australia. A kind of neo medievalism with Abbott as the Sherrif, seeing that the serfs never get a break, and Gina as mad, bad, Bloody Mary, ordering the slaughter of any who don’t buy into her trip back in time.
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Mea culpepper, Waz. The subscription was actually cheaper than buying it on Fridays for Metro, Saturdays for Mark Dapin and Danny Katz in the Good Weekend and maybe Peter Davis’ hilarious “Drive” pieces.
I love your allusion to Gina as the evil princess and Abbott as the Sheriff of Nottingham. Could be a piece in that !
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We haven’t bought papers for years. The local herald makes the SMH look positively academic! Mrs M, and now, me, collect papers from the tea room at work to use as mulch in the garden. They’re so full of shit that they rot down really well.
Thanks, Emmjay!
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Thank you.
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You’re welcome, our dear ‘Shoe.
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