Emmjay’s Winter Tipple Mix
Hello Patrons de la Salle de Porc,
While I do the research on this week’s playlist – giving our redoubtable DJ Dr Algy a short break, check out this accidental YouTube find. One man’s obsession with outdoing Wily Coyote … 29 Million views !
Ramble and legs by Emmjay. Working from Home – WFH
Todays’s production brought to you from the Pig’s Arms’ working from office.
Reflecting on how western economies have become dominated by services as opposed to manufacturing, it strikes me that even small scale manufacturing can follow services into decentralised places.
Perhaps not so much the home, but in small hubs. Recall the charm and utility ! of localised specialist places – Saville Row, Akihabara and any number of bookshop enclaves holding out against the Genghis Khan Amazon. A local cafe that gets things exactly as we like them.
3D printing is offering amazing opportunities for specialised manufacturing, but it’s hard to imagine printing oneself a new toaster.
The labour side of working from home should spawn a clutch of PhDs. As far as my work in IT is concerned, our small team has really embraced WFH. Our boss is incredibly supportive, trusts us and is open to suggestions about how we could project the practice into the future.
But I do have some sympathy for people writing about Zoom fatigue and I find fascinating the psychology drawing distinctions between onscreen and real life face to face communications, purporting to explain causes for this fatigue.
Frame of reference is really important in this discussion. I am mindful of middle class privilege and stage of life as major determinants of whether WFH does in fact work. Or having a decent internet connection. WFH is clearly not such a windfall for people living in cramped accommodation especially with children, or folks living a tad off the beaten data track..
Returning to the benefits of city folk not commuting to work, we see echoed important concepts like “ food miles” – the benefits of consuming local production – namely cutting down the cost and ecodownside of transporting stuff all over the planet as well as the evils of cash cropping in third world countries.
The pandemic has starkly demonstrated that unfettered travel carries with it more than people and freight – and we are told that Covid-19 is a glimpse of the future for a planet groaning under the weight of far too many humans.
WFH then, can be viewed as a small, but valuable step in the right direction provided that we don’t turn off Zoom and go and make another baby.
Advertisement by Emmjay
What with times like these, what househhold can do without their own Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile System ?
Fortunately, the god people from Pig-Tel bring you your own personal ICBM.
But wait, there’s more. The Pig-Tel ICBM comes in the handy dandy USB format – just plug it into your PC or Mac, program in your favourite
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One of these little babies would be a diverting Mothers’ Day gift and give mum one or two unforgettable lockdown evenings.
Now who wouldn’t want Pig-Tel to rush an ICBM over to their place ?
You could have one today (in about ten minutes, actually) by sending us your approval to
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Postage not required and definitely handle with care.
“It’s a miracle” – Father O’Way rolls back another kidney stone.
Religious Retail Photojournalism by Emmjay.
Snip from Emmjay
Hello Patrons de la Salle de Porc.
I was wondering, as I wiped my bum with the neighbour’s cat (this was for you, Hung) how it was that people who are sufficiently stupid to hoard (or is that horde ?) toilet paper could have landed on this as their primary issue in the pandemic.
So I consulted the Pig’s Arms Institute for Psychiatric Research and Two-up and they traced down the source of this fuckwittery.
So, for your edification, here’s their research finding. Not surprisingly, in the Post-Trumpian universe, it is rooted (literally) in America’s South – where apparently they have a lot of grid-down experience. This in itself explains quite a lot.
Astute patrons will notice the absence of food and beer in the survival kit.
The Pig’s Arms black-marketeer “Clipper” Hedges, more usually renowned for his ability to source quality green merchandise at competitive prices (aka “Mates Rates”) has opened up a new bit of business to round out his bottom line.
The Hedgemeister will be purveying his fine products in the Pig’s Arms carpark – a snip at just $5 a roll – cash up front please. Limit of 128 rolls per customer – more for bums and drop kicks.
And remember as Hedgie says “Be quick – it’s my March runout sale ! Bring yer money win ya !”
suckers, discerning customers 🙂
Be it known through all the lands that unto Lord Mervyn Purvis and family is born a Grandson Master William “Pigsarms” Pervis, 3.1kg.
Lady Emmlet 1 and Emmlets 1.1 and 1.2 are all well and sporting 60 fingers and toes between them. Lady Emmlet 1 looks more like she’s back from a trip to the PA Beauty Salon than having just punched out a sprog.
Lord Mervyn, Mr Emmjay and Ms FM are (as Jacky Geason might have almost said) “Over the Moon”.
Please leave flowers and chocolates at the pub door – we are all in lockdown (well, Lord Mervyn has been in lockup too).
Regards to all our friends and subjects (biology, history and English).
Story by Emmjay
Another Australian Senior – General “Motors” Holden is the latest Australian icon to fall victim to the Corolla Virus pandemic.
How do you know you’ve got the Corolla Virus ?
Our Pig’s Arms specialist, Morris Major says these are the things to look out for:
- There’s a small white deposit in your driveway
- And a similar sized perforation in your bank account.
- You find yourself defending an overwhelming blandness with statements like “It’s incredibly reliable and cheap to run”.
- You have an urge to wear white long socks and sandals.
- Friends will notice that you find boiled rice especially tasty.
- You fart a lot when you drink the milk that every other grown up has stopped drinking – mainly because Milo is your beverage of choice.
- You are secretly glad when a childcare centre opens up near you because you can drive at your comfortable speed of 40km/h without people honking and abusing you.
- When you go on holidays, there is a familiar-looking white deposit in a driveway of a shack in Ettalong.
- You do not need to clean birdshit off your car.
- The one CD in your car was recorded by Enya.
Unfortunately, like chickenpox, the Corolla Virus is impossible to completely kill and you’re likely to experience occasional outbreaks particularly when you are under a lot of stress, like during pick up times at that childcare centre you used to wish for when tiny Mums in giant four wheel drives lose control, in shopping centre car parks and going to Andre Rieu concerts.
However, the Corolla Virus can be managed by staying away from the friends that you don’t have … and by asking a demented senior to mind your keys.