Australia has many blessing; many things for which we should be grateful.

The biggest one is Clive of Australia.  Without Clive, there would be no balance in our lives.

For Clive, you see, sues on our behalf the loonies and destroyers of his our vision for a great society.  We left it to Clive to sue the soccer people for some reason.  Possibly the reason was Frank Lowey, although details are sketchy.

But the big one, the elephant in the outback – and for this we need to be deeply thankful – is that he’s taking on the government.  This time it’s by taking the government to the High Court and challenging the carbon tax as being unconstitutional.  The fact that an elected government should raise a tax on pollution is unconscionable – as any fair minded mining magnate would see in an instant. (Can I have another big Mac please ? )

Rumour has it that Clive’s top shelf lawyers are also about to open another litigation front for Clive – on gravity.  Clive is pretty sure that gravity is not only unconstitutional, but also unscientifical.  Clive is alleged to have said  “if CSIRO thinks gravity works, it’s bollocks.  What I dig up, stays up !”

Lawyers for Clive – or more accurately Clive’s body – are reportedly suing the NH&MRC for funding research into obesity saying that the NH&MRC should get its “tinny little ferret arse in order before attacking the more substantial pillows of our community”.

In other breaking news, Porsche Australia, The LearJet Corporation and Beneteau boats reported record sales to members of the legal fraternity.  The president of the Law Society, Ivan Ormous-House, said that India had it’s Clive, now it’s Australia’s turn – or more particularly Australian lawyers’ turn, pass me the Beluga and don’t spare the Kurg.  Clive’s lawyers hate to see this injustice (that is, Gina’s lawyers making shirtloads with intra- familial litigation) and now it’s time to share the lard love.

Sauces near to Mr Palmoil were too busy with the second course to comment….mrrphmmmph ah that feels better.