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Asia, China, Chinese culture, Chow Yun Fat, Coles, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, decline of the west, Jaden Smith, Michelle Yeoh, passive aggressive behaviour, pop culture, SharPei dogs, The Karate Kid, Wenwen Han, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf
Story and Digital Mischief by Warrigal Mirriyuula
I went shopping with Sche the other day, what she calls an Entebbe Raid, and to be honest, shopping with Sche is rather like a well-executed military operation.
It occurred to me as I pushed the trolley while Sche took short forays into the various aisles, that supermarket shopping is a highly regulated act of human co-operation that transpires according to a very sophisticated set of social rules.
But I don’t want to talk about that, interesting as it is.
What I want to talk about was something that gave me serious pause for thought. But that didn’t happen until we were in the car on the way home, so here’s the set up.
While we’d been in Coles there was a point when Sche had ordered me to stand by the cart and wait for her.
Where she had ordered me stand was immediately adjacent to a checkout and one of those in your face magazine displays shouting at you about some starlet’s pain or the more prurient details of some serial football fool’s two-timing Barrier Reef holiday with the best friend’s wife. You know the sort of thing.
While I was waiting, taking in the inanity of the magazine rack and enjoying an insufferable sense of superiority, only for a few moments I promise, a couple came up and she enquired as to whether or not I constituted a line. (Those rules again)
I told them “No”, and that I wasn’t quite sure how an individual could constitute a line. They apparently didn’t want to get into a discussion of geometry, but he cracked a smile. I misinterpreted it as friendly and thought, “Here goes.”
“Yes, I’ve been instructed by my wife to wait here and guard the cart. I feel like an old red cattle dog, loyal and obedient.” It seemed innocuous enough as a conversation starter.
“What a good husband you are.” she says, odiously oozing condescension. I’m set back a little. Her tone wakens startled childhood memories of the Wicked Queen in Snow White. Now I feel like a ten year-old waiting for Mum.
Then turning to her husband she adds sourly, “You could learn a lesson or two here.”
I’m not sure I want to be a lesson to anybody, and frankly, now that I really look at him, he doesn’t appear like the docile instructable type. He’s big in the shoulders and thick necked. Was he a rugby player, private school boy? He’s a little flabby, more “well upholstered” than fat. Sort of, “Another bottle of Grange and then I’ll go to the gym.” but he’s not bad looking. That’s how he’s worked this, probably since he was a boy.
His face is still smooth like he’s in his thirties. Perhaps he maintains an expensive skin regime, privately I’m sure. He’s obviously much older. I’d say early fifties at least. The hands and neck give him away. Narcissistic personality disorder? His eyes are overbright and have a mechanical look to them. He’s wearing a Polo RL shirt. It’s sky blue with white strips, white collar, open, no tie. Suit pants and expensive hand made shoes.
When he looks at her he uses one of the faces he looks at her with. It’s been crafted over years of dystopian marriage and contains just the right balance of contempt and lustful threat. He’s daring her to do something about either. He’s calculating, weighing the odds. Banking or insurance maybe?
He takes his wife’s barb well. It glances off him and he suggests, “You may be right, Darling.” This last dripping with passive aggression.
He’s got the moves this guy.
I look at her more closely. She’s short and compact, losing what her girlfriends may once have called a good figure. Her face is a little puffy. She drinks too much. Her make up is perfect though. Not overdone; this is only the supermarket; and applied with precision and experience. This woman knows all the tricks. You almost don’t see the real face at all.
Her hair has coarsened after years of salon heat and colouring, the part is wide and scoured clean. The hair has a sallow look. A cheap blonde mixed with yellower streaks, like fat going off. Odd, I thought, given her make up.
Maintaining the depressing theme expressed in her sepulchral blonde hair, she is dressed all in black, including Victorian jet mourning jewellery, a voluminous open shirt over black T, and leggings that stop short to show her pasty ankles and slightly bloated feet to be trapped in some S&M sandal that wraps her lower leg in thronging; the dead white of her flesh becoming an inflamed red where the leather cuts into the skin. They really are quite unattractive footwear.
None the less, she’s as into this as he is. She will not allow him to humiliate her like this, appearing the reasonable and accommodating husband, forcing her to play the shrew. Not in front of a total stranger.
She covers me with smiles that are actually quite uncomfortable, exerting a kind of corrupting, smothering pressure; otherwise they unload their carts in co-ordinated silence. She persists with the smiles and I respond awkwardly, a grimace that might be a smile. She continues until she is sure that her husband has noticed. He’s seen my grimace and it’s game over. She has restored the balance of terror by embarrassing him.
They pay by platinum card and leave. As they walk out into mall concourse I note they walk a few metres apart, looking in different directions. I’m left wondering why I don’t come shopping more often if it’s this much fun. I haven’t seen a couple like these two since the local players put on “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”
I was thinking that their relationship is similar to the MAD concept so beloved of the RAND Corp. back in the early days of the cold war. Should either of them take the game outside the carefully set rules of their constant skirmishing it would inexorably lead to Mutually Assured Destruction; an escalating fight to the death. Doom for them both.
It was at this point that Sche rejoined me and I let the other couple slip from my consciousness. Sche and I emptied out cart onto the conveyor. Apparently I had been “a line” after all.
As Sche ensured that the right purchases went into the right bags, I maintained my perusal of the magazines.
Kate plays hockey rather well and this is unusual for a princess; Jennifer and Courtney won’t be using Botox anymore; and lastly, though there were many other screaming headlines I might mention, that young woman who gave birth to 8 children has posed topless for a magazine. I suppose it’s nothing those eight kids haven’t seen before.
We paid for our shopping and made our way to the Chinese grocer where Sche wanted to look for some prawn meat prepared a particular way. The grocer Sche goes to is a genuine Chinese grocer. Nearly exclusively Asian lines, mostly Chinese. The place is full of Asian people, again mostly Chinese, which I take to be a good sign.
Sche only wants a couple of things, so again I’m asked to stand by the checkout with the cart. And once again there’s a magazine rack and by chance I’m parked with a couple of Chinese husbands also “guarding cart” for their shopping wives.
What strikes me is how friendly the other husbands are. Not exactly chatty, I suppose that’s cultural or maybe they don’t speak English; but they’re friendly. They smile and welcome me to the cart corral with quick bows. We’re all the same here. I smile in response.
Again my eye drifts to the magazine rack. All the titles are Chinese, the script too, but they have almost exactly the same kind of “front” as the magazines at the Coles checkout. Subtle differences of graphic focus and style but otherwise topologically identical. Pretty girls and handsome boys, movie or soap stars I assume. I can’t tell if they share the pain of the western starlet, or if the smirking young man with the confronting razor cut hair has just had a naughty weekend with a mate’s wife.
And then it strikes me. I may not be able to read a word but I do recognise the style and strangely, I also recognise many of the faces, just as I did at the other stand; and their visual context and presentation style makes them almost indistinguishable from their western counterparts.
It occurred to me that my recognising some of those Chinese faces might be the first landings, the cultural beach head of the coming change as China moves to dominate the geopolitical scene in the coming century and the focus of popular culture shifts to Asia. I’m being culturally colonised. It’s like the Britpop Invasion of the 60’s all over again.
I never miss a chance to watch Asian movies and TV on SBS. I particularly like Chinese stories, particularly the grand historical tales of Empire, or the lonely swordsman bringing justice to the rural badlands, they do a fabulous ghost story or perhaps a modern urban tale of everyday life in Beijing. That must be how I know these faces, but they are none of them Chow Yun Fat or Michelle Yeoh, and I only mention them because they’re the only Chinese stars I can readily name.
It’s all great stuff and I wonder how long it may be before I might not only recognise their faces but also be able to put some detail to their individual legends, as I can with our home grown media pop-tarts. How long before there are English language versions of those Chinese magazines on display at the Coles checkout; before we all sit down to watch a Chinese soap, a gritty detective thriller set in Shanghai, mainstream culture with eastern themes on Channel 9?
Some time ago young Wordsworth and I went to see that new Karate Kid movie with the precocious Jaden Smith in the lead and Jackie Chan as his sensei. The audience we saw the flick with didn’t mind an essentially American/Japanese notion being translated to China, (that was Jackie Chan I guess), and when it was all over Wordsworth said that the thing he’d liked most about the film was seeing China; the streets and cars, the buildings and how people lived. It was an eye opener for him and he went through a brief period thereafter when his room began to resemble a Chinoiserie of popular Asian culture.
I wish I still had that sponge like quality. The ability to guzzle culture like the Solo man, all eager imperative, throat open and bugger the spill; but I’m too old for that now. My old brain just doesn’t have the plasticity his does at 11 years old.
I was thinking of young Wordsworth’s future in the car on the way home. That’s when it finally resolved in my mind.
Shopping, the typically over-privileged, unsatisfied western couple, the friendly but quietly waiting Chinese husbands, the two magazine racks and the ubiquity of pop culture. It all suggested a changing balance, things in transition, phase shift, dynamism. There was energy in it, the increasing tension before the snap to a new attractor.
The future needs young Wordsworth’s plasticity, his eagerness to embrace change and innovation. It needs his love of difference and diversity because he will grow up and grow old as a member of one of the first generations of European descendents in the last 500 years that will not have the hegemonic grip on global culture. While the strength of English as the global lingua franca is likely to continue indefinitely, there will come a time when the simple economics of pop cultural production will see Wordsworth or his kids listening to Chinese and Indian pop, watching Chinese TV and movies and reading Asian narratives. Perhaps the TV and movies will be dubbed into English, the books, comics, games and websites with an English language version, but they will be indissolubly Asian. In creative impetus, style and content they will express and reflect a completely different cultural heritage.
The future is Asian and it’s a pity I won’t get to see it flower, but Wordsworth will, and his children and their children. I wonder what it will be like.

I come late to board but please allow small remonstrance.
Article is about global change, not shopping mall etiquette.
Global change is about big ideas and heroes who challenge the falling status quo . Shopping malls are for small people.
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Might it have been sufficient to to have stated your take on the article and thus graciously been generous?
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I stutter too.
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Are you a new onboard piglet or are you a resident denizen, Pilsudski?
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Pilduski, there’s no rule that says that we have discuss the articles here. I read them, think about them if I find them interesting…
Whilst I’m here I might say Hi to fellow posters, most of us here are friends…
Leaving a little note here is also a polite note the author that I have his/her article.
There is also no etiquette for us to response in a certain fashion…let’s just stay civil at all times, it’s helpful….
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edit: Leaving a little post here is also a polite note to the author that I have read his /her article…
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Go to the town centre where I live and its like walking into Asia. Nearly every shop is an Asian supermarket, two dollar shop or restaurant. Gives the place a certain vitality that it lacked when it was a white anglo saxon enclave. Not that you can tell the older people that. They recall the past through rose coloured glasses. I can recall the same past they pretend to and it wasn’t exciting at all. At a certain time of the day you could fire a gun down the main street and could guarantee not hitting anyone, not any more.
As for the shops well Mrs A and I rarely do this together. She’ll go down for 2l of milk and come back with all the chocolates that were on special. I’d never do that though I might think we need something and find we have industrial quantities of it.
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Husband and wife, man and woman, he and she – whatever …………. shopping together!! Not for me. Did it once. Hubby is hopeless and he cringed at my conversation with a butcher (long ago). He is the kind of guy who would come home with wrong things just because he is too polite. Don’t know if you get this. But I couldn’t, I wouldn’t shop anywhere with him except to buy a new car. Truly.
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Viv, Gez needs me to put all the rubbishy things he’s picked back on the shelves, I do it when he is not looking.I need him to tell me that we already have two twentyfour packs of toiltpaper, and six bunches of Bok Choy at home…
rubbishy: a tin of corn beef, Chinese noodle meals, endless chocolate biscuits…
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We could get down to it in this corner ladies…opening a male friend’s cupboard to cook a meal when visiting him and dazzled am I by the array of multiple cans of asparagus spears, of beetroot, of sweet based sauces and in the refrigerator instead of real vegetables multiple bottles of cordials taking up all the room (“because they were on special”). I have been shopping with him and it has gotten more tolerable over the years (“are you hungry” me-not at the moment and I suggested you might like to eat before we left “I’m thirsty” me-buy a bottle of water and put that damned can back with all those stimulants in that stuff you will cark it when I am with you in this crush and bustle full of coffee and angina pills and statins I am primarily selfish in that respect “do you want a chicken roll” me – not at the moment it’s worse than having a child you don’t expect it. 🙂
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sandshoe, it’s not so much the shopping with a male that’s a problem, it’s his need to stop for some Asian muck, or any kind of rubbish…I now demand he has to eat something before we go shopping….and most of the foodcourts are soooo depressing…not to him tho….
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Encouraging, Helvi, I’m not alone. I have to say (compelled 🙂 ) I have been surprised by the food court people but didn’t know about, who I have been shopping with, sensible people ordinarily, educated especially about food, artistic, don’t like crowds, the clatter of everyday situations but…there we have it…they’ve all been hypnotised…
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I love your mind’s work at the supermarket, Warrigal. Further…over the previous few weeks I have reading like a cow grazing with purpose in view my travel to North Queensland; Chinese culture in the second half of the 19th century has become more centrepiece than I imagined. I bought on ebay a series Lecture Notes on NQ history published by James Cook Uni, they include the Chinese population, some of the lectures are available by googling. I am revisiting River of Gold by Hector Holthouse, picking up differing opining about the welfare of the Chinese in the context. It is suggested there were 18000 Chinese on the Palmer River goldfield in its heyday in the 1870s. I know they became integral in NQ history from my mother’s stories reflecting on the Chinese presence and influence in remote locations. Holthouse describes boats in the Cooktown harbour arriving unexpectedly with up to 2,000 Chinese at a time.
Warrigal…’The hair…A cheap blonde with yellowier streaks, like fat going off ‘ .. good subjective description, almost oleaginous itself the way it seems to just slip out, beautifully, there it is. 🙂
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Hi , also have a Shar-Pei . They are a lovely loyal , friendly dog and great guard dogs. Would not suggest one as a 1st dog , as they are a herding dog and will run circles round a newbie dog owner. Pity about the bad Photo -shop job .
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We have a Shar Pei (Kali, Godess of Destruction) – and she says that your boys here in this photo are super cuties. Sensible comment to follow (I hope) 🙂
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Sharp as, Dude!
After reading the sharp observations about the other shoppers, I’m not brave enough anymore to put up a more age-appropriate picture of myself here…
Gez and I saw these very nice new style colourful shopping bags on wheels in a shop in Rozelle. Grandson No 2 was horrified when we told him that we might buy one: Oh no Oma, they are for OLD people, and they are sooo surburban
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As my then three children all tiddly winks in 1976 when I bought a beautiful one of those (vinyl box-on-wheels style) refused to walk down the road beside me, as if I would imagine they and it were compatible huh, one wonders if a motor car company set the word going in the ear of one of their children and thus into a school and so on… and I’d imagined 🙂 the kids would be overjoyed how much more stuff could be carted home.
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That is what they said, Helvi. Only OLD people use those. You’re not OLD, mum. We;;, at 26 then I could hardly be described even by kids as exactly OLD.
Bright kids. 🙂
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Yes, sandshoe, the kids come with some amazing stuff; today the two cousins wanted to see some fotos, fotos of them when they were “little”, they did not say “‘young” …. 🙂
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I reckon Woolies is better for observing people and shopping habits, especially at those electronic self-scanning isles. Have you noticed the males using them more than females? I suppose the challenge of being able to scan a single bok choy item with 2 chillies is what draws the male to them. The shoppers also don’t stand right next to the person doing the self-scanning, instead queue politely at some distance away.
The women are more likely to go for the ‘normal’ check-out checking the latest magazines and how the invasion of Brazillian waxes has infiltrated the Danish royal family…
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Great to read a Warrigal story, welcome back, old mate. I started to help Mrs M with the shopping after her mastectomy, she couldn’t control the trolley, so one of us would come to help, especially with the bottlabeer, and the chocolates.
Men behave differently in the shops, probably more polite and friendly, more likely to keep to the left, or defer to a faster moving couple (this is only an observation, please feel free to disagree).
As for the Chinese influence, well we all wear Chinese undies, so probably would do better to join ’em rather than oppose ’em.!!
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Big, I loathe shopping and when I was a childless pup, I used to enliven my supermarket travail by secreting feminine hygiene items (borrowed from the shelves) in the trolleys of macho types – especially when they were shopping a deux – just to see whether they were too embarrassed to refuse – and purchased the items at the checkout. It was most amusing when the helpless checkoutee was ridiculed by his mates.
On another supermarket adventure, I was working in my student holidays for Colgate – helping a rep set up those displays at the ends of aisles in supermarkets. It was my one and only visit to the Green Valley ghetto. A kid of about ten (who should have been at school) told his mother in no uncertain terms where she should go. I was totally shocked and waited for Dog to smite him down – possibly using an oral douche with one of the Colgate products.
Retail ? Cruel as……..
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Recalling when the chemist was where feminine items were purchased and counter staff discretely slipped a brown paper bag over it or them, then smiled encouragingly for the money to be handed over in return for *extra*service you can’t expect *down the road at that new supermarket fandangley shop*. 🙂
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Good read Warrigal. I have something to say, but not the time right now.
Pell & Dawkins tonight .
I never watch Jones, however, I’ve been sucked in by the promos. – so, gotta watch.
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Gosh, has it really been only 4 days. I had promised to come back.
This story conjured uo so much.
I was reminded of so many things –
Walking through Pasar Majestic, or Pasar Malam , in Jakarta; all the bright lights running off generators and rack after rack of shiny magazines and penknives; the air thick from smoke of the local ciggies. Escort I think that they were called. None of them were in English! Why should they be we were all locals (me by virtue of being so young that I was accepted).
Everything was on display and the loudspeakers hung up on the trees spruiked the latest Javanese film, with posters of heavily made up, young men and women. The smell of durian, rambutan, duko and bananas added to the heady mix. It was intoxicating and fascinating. I longed for the day that I could smoke, where a batik sarong and carry a penknife to protect my my imaginary gang. I used to buy my kites there. I could spend an hour at the kite sellers, going though the various types and dreaming of being Juggawon ( excuse spelling, I’m extremely rusty.
We have had occasion in my family to cross that cultuire again – many years later. My youngest son was on the cover of several Thai magzines, when he had a number one song there. He used to sign autographs in the malls, during organized ‘off the cuff’ appearances.
I mentioned that he had made a few songs, years ago.It may have been in Unleashed. Of course I have respected his privacy, by “not” tabling his YouTube efforts. Partly, because it was a while ago. And also because I am not interested in anyone else’s critique, or.point of view, because of the time lapse.
All these things came to mind when I thought of your cross cultural imaginings.
I’ve seen it.
And, as I wrote recently, as ‘Feet Slipper ‘, I see One world Council with regions as inevitable.
We can deal with Global Warming, population control and International crimes and monopolies.
Oh well, I’ve fucked up another chance to wright a decent reply, or story – and edit it – by just blurting out my thoghts in 5 mins. Apolgies.
I’ll do better next time.
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I expect it’ll be much like a ‘Chop Suey with Special Fried Rice’, Warrigal…
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We picked up one grandson from Canberra airport this morning, stopped in Goulburn for a coffee and a break, and as I needed a new computer we popped in to Harvey Norman, bought one and surprisingly the first read is an excellent article by the long-lost Warrigal….
There”s plenty there for contemplation,( I read it first for the laughs, very funny), I’ll read it again…
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Very good and hugely entertaining Waz. Yes, China is the way to the future. Some years ago I noticed that those plastic bags the sliced ham or salami got shoved in used to be opened by the shop assistant rubbing the bag with her hands to loosen the opening, and then blow into it. This cultural oddity has totally stopped. They don’t blow anymore and the hands are covered in plastic gloves. I sometimes wonder if the rates of intestinal worries has since been in decline.
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This is a Gerard. My gravatar is misbehaving.
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I had forgotten that Gerard O, when the shopkeeper too licked one of their fingers and their thumb to scoop up the paper off the pile for the fish and chips or the slice of cheese off the block. It has a familiarity about it that perhaps we miss. 🙂
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