Tony Abbott Wakes With Nagging Feeling He Gave A British Monarch A Knighthood Yesterday
Story by the Shovel
Prime Minister Tony Abbott woke up this morning with a thumping headache and a vague recollection of awarding a racist Greek Prince Australia’s highest honour.
Frantically texting friends to see if he really had made a total tit of himself, Mr Abbott was by late morning starting to piece together just what happened on Australia Day.
A Liberal party confidant, who did not wish to be named, said he broke the truth gently to Mr Abbott.
“I told him, ‘yes you may have given Prince Philip a knighthood on the spur of the moment. But don’t worry about it too much. Most people probably didn’t notice or have forgotten about it already anyway. No-one’s really talking about it today’”.
Another insider said the last he saw of Mr Abbott yesterday, the Prime Minister was riding around on a make-believe horse, wearing nothing but a paper crown and shouting ‘close the drawbridge and man the cannons!’
Those close to Mr Abbott say he has a reputation for hitting it pretty hard. In 2013 he ran a 4-week election campaign bender and later couldn’t remember anything he said.
Lord ‘n’ Lady Oooster of Bowral, or Balmain.
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I second that, if he promises to wear his purple African safari suit to the ceremony. (Or was it pink? I forgot 🙂
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Honestly did it really happen. He’s like the north end of a south bound camel
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🙂
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🙂 🙂
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Abbott woke up and remembered! I would be drinking to forget! Seriously!
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I’m the same shoe. I always forget why I went to sleep the night before.
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Even ‘Velcro Shoelaces Barnaby Joyce’ has had a go at Our Tony over Phil the Greek’s ‘hood!
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But he can’t take it back. Or could Phil possibly regretfully decline it?
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The bloke surely can suggest to Tony, lissen, cobber the people obviously don’t want me as their knight I’m pissing off. Like you say decline it.
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So, the Emperor says he has new clothes??
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Is that t-shirt, shorts and thongs Yvonne?
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What, some days I actually wear pants, but others…
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Yes, I thought about that too. Did he hit a bender? You can call me all an Earl if you like. Where is Archie?
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