6796152-3x2-700x467From the Pig’s Arms Political Correspondingness, Manne.

In a masterstroke of cabinetry, the new PM has instilled the freshness of a spittle-laden spray into the communications portfolio with the appointment of HG Nelson to the miniseries and the front bench.

Famous for his depth and perspicacity in sports commentary, the new minister has already launched a forward pass by going to the third umpire on the NBN in the mistaken belief that he is dealing with some kind of sport – maybe the National Baseball Network.

He was quoted as saying that he knows that fibre is good for everyone – keeping the communication passages flowing and that he’s all in favour of everyone getting fibre right to their homes – and presumably through the larder, kitchen and dining rooms into the water closet.

The Minister’s daily double, Senator Roy Slaven was unavailable for comment.